Are you the best version of yourself in bed? Have you ever realized sexual fantasies, are you willing to experiment and propose new ideas? These questions are a good thermometer to find out if you are among the 44% of women who, according to research by Mosaico 2.0, from Hospital das Clínicas de São Paulo, are dissatisfied with their sex life. That is why bed insecurity affects so many women in the country.
If we think that this number represents that almost half of Brazilians are not completely happy in bed, we come to the questions: what are the reasons for this to happen? Do men know what goes on in their partners’ heads, or is sex a taboo within relationships?
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To answer these questions, nothing better than a good self-assessment, after all, women can be different from each other in different aspects, but in certain subjects, such as sex, we all have something in common: the culture of repression female sexuality and all its consequences.
Ready to discover the main factors that lead to inhibition in the H hour, and start to write a new phase of life, happier, safer and more confident? Come on!
How to overcome insecurity in bed?
This is one of the main factors that contribute to insecurity in bed. Despite several female conquests throughout history, sex is still a “forbidden territory”, about which little is said, but much is condemned.
One of the great feminist feats that marked the history of women’s sexual emancipation was the birth of the birth control pill. After all, before her, the socially accepted sex was that within marriage, in order to procreate and satisfy male desires. The woman, therefore, had no right to legislate about her body with regard to pregnancy.
After that, other achievements were achieved, and today, women can choose who they relate to, how, and when. But the scars of a history of repression are still felt, even by those who have not lived through the height of a predominantly and admittedly macho society. And that is exactly why many of us have not yet lived our sexuality to the full.
If you believe that this lack of social freedom has never influenced your life, rethink. If you have already stopped having sex on a first date for fear of what the man would think, or if at the time H did not ask for what you like and that gives you pleasure for the same fear of suffering judgments, welcome to the 21st century, a time when women are still pruned for fear of male disapproval.
Shame of one’s own body
Beauty standards dictate what is ugly and beautiful since the dawn of humanity. In Ancient Greece, women considered beautiful had white skin, thighs and wide waists. In the Victorian era, society imposed the use of the corset, because the thin waist and full breasts were the beauty standards of the time.
Well, hundreds of years later, here we are, and although we also have pre-conceived standards, women have never been so slaves to an ideal of beauty – and even those who fit the concept defined by the fashion industry are not comfortable with your body.
This is what a survey by Sophia Mind, one of the most renowned companies in the field of female research, reveals: 92% of women feel dissatisfied with what they see in the mirror. In other words, we are responsible for the mistreatment of our self-esteem , because we are constantly in search of an unreal and produced beauty, treated in image editing programs and which in no way reflects Brazilian standards. The result? There is no escaping frustration, dissatisfaction with one’s body, self-judgment and, inevitably, insecurity in bed.
And not being comfortable with yourself at the hour is the recipe for sex that will not reach its potential, and, again, it will end up generating frustration. The solution? It goes beyond making up with the mirror. Before that, you need to accept yourself, recognize what can be improved and go in search of the best version of yourself, without false projections or attempts to fit certain standards.
Fear of looking vulgar
If you are afraid of appearing vulgar in bed, and therefore do not experience the full expression of your sexuality, it is time to review your posture. That’s because few things in life are as free as good sex.
And I say good sex because sex for sex exists in droves. Good sex, however, is one in which the territory is neutral, the imagination is the limit and prejudices are locked outside the room. In other words: the bed is a free zone, and if there is a feeling that in it, you cannot be who you really are, something is not going well and needs to be changed – even if it is the partner.
The problem is that when women restrain themselves and do not express what they really want or feel in bed, they are already succumbing to social machismo, and more importantly, they stop being happy and experiencing sexuality in its entirety.
How to have more complicity with the partner?
There is only one way to overcome insecurity in bed, the remnants of sexual repression, the shame of one’s own body and the fear of appearing vulgar in bed: dialogue.
Despite being a simple solution to have more complicity in the relationship, many women are still unable to expose to their partners the preferences and perceptions of their sex life, for fear of not facing the lack of understanding and, in addition, of facing the feared pride male.
The problem is that when there is no dialogue, there is neither truth in life nor sex: what could be improved will remain bad, the discoveries will not provoke new sensations and the pleasure – of the woman, of course – will continue to be placed in the background.
Do you want to have a happier and more pleasurable sex life? Do you want to leave insecurity in bed once and for all? Believe me, it’s all up to you: expose yourself, talk, assume your will and make your power of choice prevail. I’m sure that you will feel even more incredible and sure of yourself – and most important of all, proud of the woman you have become.