A friendly “romance” is written daily, not overnight. Maintaining a beautiful, sincere friendship for a long time requires no less effort than working on a love story. There is everything in friendship: both difficult moments and moments of unbridled fun. You need to learn to overcome the first and make the second happen more often.
Friends are our second family, which we have chosen ourselves. Therefore, friendship deserves some effort to maintain it. Our 10 tips for keeping friendships.
1. Accept friends with all their flaws
Your friend is late all the time, and you are extremely punctual? A friend likes to stay at home, and you are very light on your feet? It’s okay for friends to have differences as long as they don’t conflict with core values. We have no choice but to accept the characteristics of our friends. We cannot demand from them to change. Because, in turn, we, too, would not like it if we were required to become a different person.
After all, the world is big enough to find just the kind of people that would suit you perfectly as friends. Unlike the family we don’t choose. If your friends’ shortcomings are so unacceptable to you, it may make sense to stop communicating with them.
2. Be available to friends
To keep a friend, it is important not only to accept him with all his flaws, but also to be available to him. It means being the kind of person he can count on at any moment that matters to him. Try to be there when he really needs you, even if you have little time for communication in your daily routine. It is true that when all is well, we rarely meet.
Being a good friend means being there not only in moments of joy, but especially when you need help. If we are not next to a friend at a difficult moment, is it possible to talk about friendship at all?
Try not to give advice
When your friend seems to be making or about to make a mistake, you will be tempted to give him advice. Try to refrain from this rash step yourself. You can never be sure that you are right. Your friend knows his situation much better, the more he knows what he should generally do in his life.
Try not to give advice, even if asked to. If you want to help a friend without jeopardizing your friendship, limit yourself to just being there, listen, and ask unbiased questions. Keep your opinions to yourself on important topics. Over time, you won’t have to regret it.
4. Money and friendship rarely go well
If you lend money to a friend, there is always the risk of losing both. However, this also applies to everything else. Lend your car and pick it up then scratched. Borrow a book and never see it again. There are just as many risks to quarrel and lose a friend as with money.
There is a simple solution to how to keep the friendship. Before you lend something, prepare yourself that you will either never see it again, or get back in a bad state. Then if a friend keeps his promise, you will have a pleasant surprise. If not, then you will be prepared in advance for this obviously unpleasant event. Either way, your friendship will be saved.
5. He who breaks pays
If your friend was kind enough to lend you his book, car, house, CD, evening dress, chic clutch, make a commitment to return it to him in the same condition that you received it. Of course, financial difficulties happen in the same way as accidents.
If you accidentally spoil a book, clothes, car, be sure to replace or repair them. This is the price of your friendship. Return the borrowed money as soon as possible. If for some reason this is not possible within the agreed time frame, do not play ostrich and do not hide your head in the sand. Show your intention to honestly return the money by offering, for example, installments.
6. Do not criticize his half
Has your friend hooked up with a man who doesn’t respect her? Don’t like your friend’s new girlfriend? Try not to speak out about a person dear to your friend, even if he has recently appeared in his life. It is much more likely that a friend would rather draw a line under your relationship than end his love affair.
Plus, you only introduce an element of distrust into their pair when they especially need an understanding environment. And then, perhaps, after a short enough time, you will notice that you were wrong. If this does not happen and their relationship ends in a breakup, which will only confirm your initial thoughts, refrain from statements like “I told you so.” Because no one wants to hear that in difficult moments in their lives.
7. Do not rush to judge
He arrives late, and you dryly point out this to him? She forgot about meeting, and it pisses you off? Take a moment to think about your own actions before rushing into your friend with an avalanche of reproaches. Are you always flawless? Not. Are you always punctual, always remembering everything? Also no. Then you cannot play the accuser. Because more often than not, we ourselves sin with exactly what we are ready to blame our friends for. In short, look at yourself in the mirror more often and be condescending.
8. Stay connected
If life has divorced you and you no longer live in the same city, nowadays it is very easy to stay in touch. A small message on social networks, an SMS or an email will always help you ask “how are you?” Strong friendships never suffer from distance. And real friends continue their relationship from the place where they left off, as if they had parted just the day before.
9. Gifts keep friendships
What matters is not the gift itself, but the symbolism that it contains. A small gift is evidence that “I thought about you while we were not together.” Often a gift reflects a feeling we have for another. All reasons are good to show a friend what we think of him: a gift from a trip, a birthday present, a gift just for no reason. And the gift does not have to be expensive at all to bring great pleasure.
10. Learn to ask for forgiveness
Did you unreasonably reproach your friend for something? Wounded with a word or deceived? When the clouds are gathering in friendships because of you, you need to be able to ask for forgiveness. Sometimes it is very difficult, because it means admitting your guilt, that is, putting the other above yourself. But it also serves as proof that your relationship is dear to you. So, whatever it takes, if you make a mistake, find the strength to admit it and ask for forgiveness.
Appreciate the friendship you have, as the need for it continues to grow over the years.