Learn to love yourself

Loving yourself is the foundation of a happy, full and fulfilling life. But loving yourself is (paradoxically) very difficult. Is it possible to learn how to do it? And if so, how?

If there is one difficult thing, it is loving yourself. All of us – some more, some less – are at odds with who we are. And yet, accepting ourselves truly and completely is the foundation of happiness. But then, is it possible to learn to love yourself?

We at Junglam addressed the question to Marina Osnaghi , the first Italian Master Certified Coach, who suggested some food for thought and good practices to stop “mistreating” us and welcome us in our imperfect beauty.

What it means to love yourself

Marina Osnaghi notes that there is often a tendency to confuse self-love with selfishness. But they are two very different attitudes. The egoist cares only about himself and his needs and has a closed attitude towards others to defend his “properties”. Instead, a person who loves himself is empathetic, generous and welcoming to the outside world .

This profoundly different behavior derives from a process of self-awareness which culminates in the recognition and affirmation of one’s true identity . As the Master Certified Coach explains, those who love themselves see themselves and accept themselves for what they are, know and master their emotions and feelings and know what their desires and needs are. Consequently, he does not consider others and the outside world a threat, but an opportunity to be lived in fullness.

In the same way, Marina Osnaghi points out that this self-awareness leads to accepting one’s limits and defects and to stop chasing an unrealistic and frustrating (as well as dangerous) ideal of perfection. A conquest that, ultimately, allows you to become aware of your value .

Why love yourself?

As Marina Osnaghi observes, loving yourself means knowing and accepting yourself in a dynamic and evolutionary way. That is, with the awareness of having shortcomings and weaknesses, but also the skills and means to overcome them. And this clear, lucid and honest gaze on oneself makes oneself fully and free from external influences .

The Master Certified Coach explains that this condition is the basis and essential prerequisite for a happy, full and fulfilling life , because it breaks the mechanism that leads to seeking the definition of oneself and one’s own value outside, generating a vicious circle of insecurity , dissatisfaction, frustration and (in the worst cases) of anxiety and depression that feeds itself and makes the outside world appear threatening, unfair and bad.

Loving yourself is the basis and essential prerequisite for a happy, full and fulfilling life.

This (new) perspective on reality and on the other leads to abandoning prejudices, envy and resentment and to let go of weakening thoughts and negative and victimized behaviors, generating a positive flywheel of curiosity, personal and social growth and improvement .

Ultimately Marina Osnaghi comments, loving oneself opens the way to positive, constructive and lasting relationships in the private and professional spheres.

What to do to love yourself

The path that leads to love for oneself is not the same for everyone and can take time and foresee different challenges. But there are some simple practices that can be useful for developing self-awareness and getting closer to happiness.

Marina Osnaghi explains that taking time to clarify oneself and one’s desires and needs (in the private and working sphere) is a good starting point. His advice is to carve out a fixed moment, in a context in which he feels at ease, and to write in a notebook or diary the reasons for dissatisfaction, the obstacles that we face and the actions that can be taken to overcome them.

Focusing on these critical issues and possibilities is a prerequisite for recognizing your strengths and weaknesses, identifying your goals and establishing a strategy for changing the state of affairs .

The Master Certified Coach invites you to proceed in small steps and not to let yourself be beaten by defeats and failures (small or large), but to treasure them. At the same time, he urges us to reward each achievement (also in this case, regardless of its size) and not to be afraid to ask for help. On the contrary, identifying a reference figure can be very useful to put things in perspective, find the way and start again with renewed energy and enthusiasm after a stumbling block or a difficulty.

 

by Abdullah Sam
I’m a teacher, researcher and writer. I write about study subjects to improve the learning of college and university students. I write top Quality study notes Mostly, Tech, Games, Education, And Solutions/Tips and Tricks. I am a person who helps students to acquire knowledge, competence or virtue.

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