Inner peace has become a luxury. We live in a hectic society that “forces” us to lead a hectic lifestyle in which we don’t stop for a minute. If we get involved, we will be overwhelmed by a mountain of things to do, most of them insignificant, that don’t leave us a second for ourselves.
We get so caught up in the frenetic pace that sometimes, when we have some time to ourselves, we feel guilty. Guilty because we should be doing something more productive. But there comes a time when you need to stop and say “enough!”. No more meaningless worries and an oppressive pace of life. Enough of social pressures, all those meaningless activities and the pursuit of perfection.
Finding inner peace is essential for our well-being and happiness. From time to time it is essential to relax, take a break and rearrange our priorities. It’s a change worth making.
What is Inner Peace?
Tranquility is not peace. Today’s world sells us a quiet, artificial and anesthetized peace that we can access simply by putting up the “do not disturb” sign. This space of tranquility is important, there is no doubt, as it allows us to rest, but it is not the peace we need.
Inner peace is a subjective feeling of well-being, it is impalpable but very real as it fills us with deep tranquility. It is a state where we get rid of our main worries, fears, stresses and sufferings.
However, inner peace involves more than just letting go of negative emotions and feelings, it also means being aware of the wonders of life and feeling fully connected to the universe and to ourselves.
Inner peace is a feeling of calm in which we stop fighting against negative thoughts and emotions, although this does not mean that they do not exist, but rather that they stop dominating and harming us because we do not give them too much importance and prevent them from becoming recurring worries. It is a state in which we mentally and emotionally detach ourselves from everyday problems and conflicts and assume the psychological distance necessary to enjoy serenity.
Can you achieve inner peace?
Many people think it is impossible to achieve that state of inner peace. They claim that everyday life is so uncertain and sometimes so capricious that it is not possible to find serenity because problems are always around the corner. True, there is no denying that life includes a huge dose of uncertainty. The key is locus of control .
When we have an external locus of control and every situation has the power to negatively affect us and make us lose our temper, it is impossible to find inner peace. People with an external locus of control are like leaves blowing in the wind who will not find peace even in the best of times, because they will think of all the misfortunes that may be outlined on the horizon.
But that doesn’t mean it’s impossible to achieve inner peace. When we have an internal locus of control , we can decide which battles are worth fighting. If instead of reacting, we take control and decide how to approach problems by taking the reins of our lives in hand, we can aspire to develop a lasting inner peace.
Therefore, inner peace is not something that is found by chance, it is a personal decision, a choice, it is something that is consciously built by putting into practice behaviors and thoughts that make us serene.
Where to find inner peace?
A monk seeking inner peace and enlightenment retired to a remote, deserted small island. He promised never to get angry again, not to be sad or euphoric, but just to be at peace with himself.
He also promised himself never to leave that island and to be satisfied with his company. He chose a place, sat down by a tree, stopped and meditated. After many years of meditation and silence, he thought he had achieved enlightenment. He felt calm, revitalized and refreshed, in complete harmony with the island and with himself.
He was so happy that he decided to send a letter to his previous master, thanking him for his teachings and telling him that he had reached enlightenment, that nothing in the world worried him and that he would never leave that peaceful island again.
The monk received an answer. He eagerly opened the letter and, to his surprise, read only a series of insults against his person. The monk was so angry that he decided to leave the island to ask the old master for an explanation.
When they met he asked him what those insults meant. The master smiled and said:
– You said you had reached enlightenment, that nothing in the world distressed you and that you would never leave the island. If a few words are enough to make you angry and forget everything you said, are you really sure you are at peace with yourself?
This Buddhist tale, in tune with the words of Virginia Woolf: “you cannot find peace by avoiding life” , offers us a great lesson: inner peace is something we find within ourselves. The peace that comes from avoiding reality and problems is an artificial peace that will end as soon as adversity knocks at our door, as happened to the monk.
This means that inner peace is not only built when we are peaceful and calm, but also in the midst of the storm. Inner peace is tempered in adversity.
9 keys to developing inner peace
- Take the time to introspect
Spend fewer hours reading newspapers and hearing the news and more time digging within yourself. When you allow your mind to absorb the negativity broadcast by most media, it will be very difficult for you to get rid of it. It’s not about creating an artificial bubble of happiness around you, but it’s recommended that you develop less toxic mental habits and make sure you spend time alone with yourself. You don’t have to think about problems all the time, but make peace with yourself. Inner peace comes from feeling comfortable with your decisions, thoughts and emotions, and for this you need to constantly renew your self-image.
- Accept “negative” thoughts and emotions
Finding inner peace means, first of all, balance. Therefore, it is not possible to find serenity if you continue to fight “negative” thoughts and emotions or try to hide them in the recesses of your mind. To achieve inner peace it is necessary to practice radical acceptance , you must accept these thoughts and emotions. In fact, when you learn to live them, they will lose the power they have over you. Remember that ′′ negative ′′ thoughts and emotions don’t hurt you, what damages you and takes away your peace is holding on to them.
- Avoid destructive criticism
We all have a tendency to compare, draw conclusions and then criticize. But negative criticism is the worst enemy of inner peace. Criticism not only harms the person being criticized but also the one making the value judgment. It is usually an expression of mental rigidity and rejection of reality. The problem is that negative criticism will immerse you in a permanent state of dissatisfaction that will take you away from the serenity you intend to achieve. This doesn’t mean you have to accept everything, but you have to learn to differentiate between constructive criticism that underpins positive change and destructive criticism whose consequences are always negative. It’s about learning not to judge and being more tolerant and flexible.
- Simplify your life
Do you sometimes wish the day had more than 24 hours? You can’t prolong it, but you can simplify your life so you can make the most of every minute. Sometimes, it’s convenient for you to stop and ask yourself if you’re doing what you really like or are wasting time unnecessarily. Think about ways to simplify your life so you can spend more time on the things that really matter to you and bring you happiness and fulfillment. Remember that being mature doesn’t mean adding more and more, but eliminating and needing less and less to be happy.
- Practice gratitude
Don’t let a single day go by without feeling grateful for something. There is always something to be grateful for, you just have to learn to appreciate the things we take for granted, like living or having people who love us and that we love next to us. When we start feeling grateful for what we have, instead of complaining about what we don’t have, we rediscover a new inner balance. Gratitude is one of the keys that opens the door to serenity and happiness.
- Giving without expecting to receive in return
Many people expect to receive something in return, they turn interpersonal relationships into business relationships. When they don’t get the expected reward, they get angry. Therefore, if you wish to achieve inner peace, you must free yourself from selfishness and rediscover the pleasure that the act of giving, simply to help or do a good deed, gives. Giving has to be rewarding enough in itself. Feel good about yourself for what you did.
- Learn to be fully present
“If you feel depressed, you are living in the past, if you feel anxious, you are living in the future. If you feel at peace, you are living in the present,” says a quote about inner peace by Lao Tzu. Many times we live in anguish because we place ourselves between the disasters of the past and the worries of the future. Learning to be fully present in what Buddhists call “the eternal instant” will allow you to find peace in whatever you are doing. Speaking of which, you can practice some mindfulness exercises without even sitting down to meditate.
- Don’t get attached, let yourself go
Over the course of life we accumulate a lot of anger and resentment, feelings that end up hurting us and preventing us from reaching the inner peace that we so yearn for. Therefore, it is essential to learn to let go of the feelings and thoughts that grip you and keep you tied to the past. It is equally essential to learn to practice detachment , even with the goals you set for yourself. Life goes by, if you get attached you will be stuck fighting against the current, and this will exhaust you emotionally and physically. The visualization technique , “the leaves of the river”, will help you understand that everything changes.
- Calm your mind
Every day we face hundreds, thousands of stimuli. Our mind is in a state of constant hyper-stimulation which prevents us from achieving serenity. Therefore, it is convenient to spend at least a few minutes a day practicing meditation or relaxation. Learn to empty your mind and free it from all daily worries. This relaxing music video will help you find inner peace even in the most difficult moments.
