How to improve a relationship that has cooled down?”
A new study in Psychology, done with people together for years, can give us a good tip.
How to improve the couple’s relationship
The research says that trying new things together can improve the relationship , even if it only takes a few minutes and is as simple as playing a new game or eating a new meal, as long as it’s exciting.
New, fun and exciting activities can combat the natural boredom that appears in love relationships after some time, continuing the process of “expanding the self” that occurs at the beginning of relationships.
The study
In one activity, for example, couples were fastened by wrists and ankles with Velcro, and would have to carry pillows through a barrier without using arms, hands or teeth.
According to the results of the study, participants who did new, fun and exciting activities rated the quality of the relationship as superior. In subsequent interaction, couples showed more acceptance and support, and less hostility.
How does a relationship get into routine?
According to the study’s authors, the typical pattern of a relationship can be explained as follows:
“… When two people enter into a relationship, usually talking intensely with considerable risk and self-disclosure, they are expanding rapidly. […] When this rapid expansion occurs, it is assumed that there is a high degree of positive affect and, when it is very fast, even physiological arousal ”.
Later, after the end of the “honeymoon phase”, the course is usually routine . They continue:
“… The additional rapid expansion of all these types would inevitably appear to slow down. When expansion is slow or non-existent, there should be little emotion, perhaps boredom, and the loss of pleasant emotion can be attributed to the particular relationship, perhaps explaining the decline in satisfaction and love. ”
How to improve a relationship that “cooled”
New and exciting activities , however, can start self-expansion again :
“If, however, the couple engages in shared self-expansion activities (activities in addition to getting to know each other), rapid self-expansion must remain associated with the relationship. Such activities would be innovative (new and therefore expansive to the self) or exciting (and therefore associated with past experiences of rapid expansion). “
