How to recognize a sapiosexual

They can melt from discussing philosophical questions, and in a partner they look for erudition, intelligence and quick wits. We tell you who sapiosexuals are and by what criteria they can be recognized. We also share advice that will help you build relationships with such people. 

Who is a sapiosexual?

The word sapiosexual comes from the Latin root sapio, meaning “to be wise, to have common sense,” and sexual, meaning “sexual.” This is a person who is more attracted to the mind than the appearance of a partner. In order to feel sexual attraction to another person, a sapiosexual must first notice his or her high intelligence. Bright examples are the main character of “Sherlock” or Sheldon from “The Big Bang Theory.”

Sapiosexuality is a relatively new term that cannot yet be called scientific, as very little research has been done in this area. 

According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, this term first appeared in 2004. But at the same time, there is a version that even earlier, in 1998, it was used in a post on LiveJournal by a user named wolfieboy .

It is believed that between 1 and 8% of people between the ages of 18 and 35 may be sapiosexual, regardless of the person’s orientation or gender.

How to recognize a sapiosexual

Here are some common signs . If most of the statements below describe your partner, there is a chance that he or she is sapiosexual.

When choosing a partner, he gives preference to intelligence

For example, in dating apps, a sapiosexual is attracted to people who demonstrate intelligence in their profiles or first messages. But when meeting someone in person, he will only be attracted to them if they demonstrate erudition and intelligence. 

Prefers deep conversations

A sapiosexual loves to engage in complex and philosophical discussions, but small talk, gossip and empty talk do not interest him. A sapiosexual is attracted to people who can express their thoughts effectively and clearly. 

Believes that the mind is sexier than the body

A sapiosexual values ​​intellect more than appearance. He may feel aroused when his partner discusses philosophical topics. And discussing deep thoughts is like foreplay for him. A sapiosexual is more interested in a person’s beliefs, his broad outlook, his idea of ​​morality, values, and his partner’s interests.

The ideal date is connected with the intellectual sphere

Typically, a sapiosexual prefers meetings where nothing distracts him or prevents him from having an interesting conversation with a potential partner. Such a person will most likely choose a planetarium, gallery or museum for a date, rather than a bar or cafe.

How to Build a Relationship with a Sapiosexual

If your partner is sapiosexual, here are some things to consider to help you build a healthy and harmonious relationship with them .

Stay yourself

If one of the partners is a sapiosexual, the other may sometimes feel pressured and try to appear smarter to meet their expectations. Of course, sharing and supporting your partner’s interests is important, but only if you are truly comfortable and interested. It is important to remember that a successful relationship depends on whether you remain yourself, with your interests and beliefs. 

Choose smart entertainment

To keep your partner interested, try going to science lectures, watching art-house films, going to a book club, or learning new skills together. However, remember that for a harmonious relationship, it is important to seek compromises: you should not neglect your own tastes and preferences. Instead, try to find something that will be interesting for both of you. 

Please note that events may develop more slowly than usual.

It takes longer to fully understand a person’s mind than it does to see and appreciate their appearance. Therefore, it may take longer than others for a sapiosexual to fall in love and commit to a relationship. 

Show interest and don’t be shy to ask questions.

If you don’t know or don’t understand something, don’t be afraid to ask your partner. It’s also a good idea to ask about his or her hobbies. The main thing is that your curiosity is sincere. Sapiosexuals, in turn, will enjoy participating in an intellectual conversation and the opportunity to talk about their interests. 

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