People are fed up with dating apps: 79% of zoomers and 80% of millennials experience from using them. The endless choice these services provide makes people feel overwhelmed and tired. That’s why “old-school” offline dating is becoming increasingly popular: for example, in 2023, attendance at events related to them in the US by 41%.
dating platforms . Finding a partner for a serious long-term relationship is the second most popular reason to register there after finding friends. But finding love and not burning out is not an easy task. And here slow dating comes to the rescue.
What is slow dating
Slow dating is an approach to finding relationships that encourages you to slow down and focus on one or a few potential partners, and gradually get to know them better , rather than mindlessly swiping right and immediately setting up a date.
Getting to know each other slowly and then deciding whether to pursue a romantic relationship is certainly not a new practice. But with so many apps, matches, and profiles out there, it can be difficult to find someone you can connect with deeply. Instead, finding a romantic partner can feel like a job interview or a series of superficial one-night stands. Slow dating can help fix that.
How to practice slow dating
Here are some steps to help you become more aware of your preferences and more mindful of your dating process.
Install apps that are aligned with the slow dating philosophy
Some of them offer a limited number of swipes in advance, while others show only one profile per day. True, in Russia there is a problem with such services – but abroad there is a larger choice. If you do not have such applications at your disposal, set your own restrictions.
Set aside a specific time when you can open dating services
For example, only on weekends or at certain times. Or set a swipe limit: about 20 swipes a day, provided that you spend at least 20 seconds on each profile, should be enough. In general, organize everything so that you do not communicate with more than three people at a time – this will help you determine who is closer to you and who should be asked out.
Scroll through apps thoughtfully
Pay attention not so much to the profile photo, but to its description . Even if the person is not exactly your type in appearance, but you have common interests – give him a chance. Perhaps it is with him that you will be able to build a meaningful dialogue.
After a match, don’t rush to set up a date right away
Before the meeting, take the time to communicate online. It is better to discuss all key issues in correspondence or via video communication to determine how much your goals and views coincide. Otherwise, you risk wasting time and energy on a meeting with a person who is not right for you.
Move offline
Look for slow dating events in your city. They can be timed to coincide with holidays (for example, Valentine’s Day), take the form of quests or board game evenings. If there are none, simple meetings of interests or parties with friends of friends will do – there you will be on the same wavelength with many and it will be easier for you to meet people. ]
What are the benefits of “slow dating”
If you are looking for a serious relationship, slow dating will help you develop trust in each other and avoid any annoying surprises.
- You’ll avoid the brain overload that can occur when you’re dating a lot of different people. You’ll be able to spot “green” and “red” flags in the behavior of the person in front of you and figure out whether or not to continue communicating with them.
- You’ll build a solid foundation for a long-term relationship if your mutual affection grows smoothly. Relationship counselor Holly Roberts that partners who take their time trust each other more.
- You will be able to be yourself . You will have enough time to gradually open up to your partner, without pretending or exaggerating your merits.
Thoughtfully choosing a potential partner and taking small steps toward a relationship may not be as exciting as a fast-paced romance with a stranger. But taking your time will save you from attachment anxiety or avoidance, love bombing , emotional roller coasters, and other unpleasantries. So if whirlwind romances and casual dating aren’t what you’re looking for right now, take a slower approach to using dating services and meet people offline more often.
