There are events that turn our world upside down, making us question everything from our most ingrained values to our vital decisions and even the meaning of our existence. On other occasions, that vital crisis simmers, making things lose their meaning and charm, plunging us into a period of introspection that can generate anguish.
How to overcome an existential crisis step by step?
Carl Jung believed that we spend the first half of our lives developing our ego and the second half integrating the unconscious to become the person we truly are. Indeed, the answers to the questions we ask ourselves during an existential crisis often lead us down a path of personal discovery.
The existential crisis is an opportunity to deepen and align some important concepts of our lives, precisely those that may have weakened the most, such as the meaning of life, authenticity and transcendence. It’s also a chance to acknowledge, accept, and reconnect with our feelings, ones we’ve probably left parked for too long.
1. An opportunity for introspection and change
Despite the fact that an existential crisis usually plunges us into a state of extreme emotional vulnerability, alters our sense of wholeness and questions our purpose in life, it is no less true that it is an opportunity to be reborn and find other deeper meanings with which we feel more identified.
People tend to get trapped in an existential crisis because of their cognitive schemas. In other words, they are unable to transcend the failing belief system that gives meaning to their world and their identity. But in the midst of a crisis, the patterns that used to guide us effectively are no longer adaptive, so we need to reconsider and change them.
This often means restructuring our expectations to design a more realistic and motivating life plan, but it can also mean reviewing our values, thinking about who really gives us something or with whom we identify most in this new phase of life.
2. Give time to time
Existential crisis isn’t exactly a pleasant experience, so it’s only natural that we want to leave it behind as soon as possible. However, that situation carries a message, so it’s important that we take the time to understand what’s going on, restructure our world, and only then share.
We have to put our ideas in order and think very carefully about what we want to do in the future since, after all, this is our life. If we don’t give ourselves time and run ahead, we run the risk of sinking further into the existential crisis and falling into depression.
This is why it is important not to be in a hurry and to allow ourselves the necessary time to rediscover the meanings and senses that have escaped us. We have to be very patient with ourselves and not violate our inner healing rhythm.
3. Overcome an existential crisis by finding ikigai
Ikigai is a Japanese philosophy of life that can be translated as “reason for being” or “purpose in life” . It’s not about looking for happiness, but about finding what we do well and what we are passionate about. And that involves a journey of inner discovery.
First we have to think about what we like to do: what are your passions? What activities excite you? So we need to think about what we’re good at: What are your talents and strengths? Could you live on any of these talents? Third, we need to think about what the world needs: What can you contribute that no one else can?
This concept is deeply linked to the state of flow, the one that absorbs us and makes us enjoy. These are the activities that make us lose track of time and that we undertake with enthusiasm. Focusing on these things will help us rediscover the meaning of life and overcome the existential crisis.
4. Let go of the need to have absolute certainties
When we get too attached to our need for certainty and control, we become rigid and inflexible. We are unable to adapt to change and are unwilling to take risks. We miss out on opportunities and experiences that might otherwise enrich our lives. When this happens in the middle of a vital crisis, it’s like a condemnation to live it cyclically.
Learning to let go of our need for certainty doesn’t mean giving up or becoming passive, but rather stop fighting against what is happening. We surrender to what happens to take advantage of it. It means accepting that life is filled with uncertainty and embracing the unknown, not with fear but with curiosity.
In this way we will learn to look to the future in a more relaxed way and the dark clouds of the existential crisis will begin to dissipate – or at least they will no longer be so frightening. What should be, will be in due course.
5. Rediscover the magic of small moments
Sometimes, the questions posed by the existential crisis give us the vertigo of those who are on the edge of the abyss, making us think that the meaning of life is a complex and enlightened experience, but it doesn’t have to be. Kierkegaard himself suggested that the first step in overcoming the existential crisis is to enjoy beauty.
The philosopher was referring to sensual gratification of the senses, facing life with the same amazement, interest and curiosity of a small child. The aesthetic sphere and all the little details it contains is an exciting, fun and motivating world full of possibilities that can snatch us from the arms of anhedonia .
It can be a walk in the woods, sharing a bottle of wine or a delicious dinner, enjoying a live concert or experiencing the exhilaration of swimming naked in the sea. These experiences can be intoxicating, extraordinarily interesting, and make us feel more alive. In short, it’s about exploring our hedonistic side to make our lives more interesting and enjoyable.
The problem, according to Søren Kierkegaard , was that to live without passion is to not exist. The philosopher was convinced that the deepest roots of the existential crisis must be sought in society. He believed that too many people feel alienated by a society that overemphasizes objectivity, success and results in terms of profit, productivity and efficiency at the expense of personal, passionate and subjective human experiences.
Therefore, to overcome an existential crisis we must not limit ourselves to taking life’s big questions too seriously, we can also afford to be more impulsive, live more in the moment, start planting seeds for new projects, leave room for arbitrariness and uncertainty, living experiences in a disruptive and different way… It’s about lighting the candle of life without regrets because, finally, we can and want to do it.
Books to overcome the existential crisis
Finally, there are some particularly valuable books on overcoming the existential crisis that are worth reading. This is the case of “ The suffering of a meaningless life ”, a work in which the psychiatrist Viktor Frankl refers to the desire for meaning and to times full of existential frustration and a great sense of emptiness.
