It is very typical to see the new year as a catharsis or moment of change, the year changes and luck changes, but… is this true or after a few days everything goes back to the same as before?
If you think so, it is because you have not yet realized that, in reality, you are the protagonist of your own story, of carrying out the necessary changes to achieve those objectives that you desire, but, since that is difficult to achieve, Instead of taking responsibility for your day to day, for creating your own opportunities, you expect that in special and emotional moments, the fairy godmother will come and do a little magic with her magic wand, right?
Another fact that happens to us with the new year is that the change of year is not what really excites you, but rather, when crossing the line or changing digits, your mentality changes since human beings need inflection points, put the counter to zero and leave behind ‘what we drag’.
This illusion leads you to think of resolutions for the new year as a way to change certain aspects of your life, because you have the feeling of starting over, of having a new opportunity to improve, of trusting that what you want to change can become in a reality.
So if what you want is a bit of magic and you are tired of not fulfilling those resolutions on your list every year, the time has come to stop considering the typical New Year’s resolutions and set your goals on something more important and profound, and the best thing will be that you look for it in your attitude, in what you carry inside, because as you already know, the one truly responsible for everything is your mentality and your attitude.
The first thing you should do, before starting to write a new list with your resolutions for 2022, is to propose one thing to yourself, take a look and review the list of resolutions you made for January 2021, and once this is done, you should ask yourself the following
Content of this topic
- REVIEW OF PREVIOUS PURPOSES
- WHY CAN’T YOU FULFILL YOUR PURPOSES?
- HOW TO ESTABLISH ACHIEVABLE PURPOSES OR GOALS?
- TIPS TO ACHIEVE YOUR GOALS OR NEW YEAR RESOLUTIONS
- THE IMPORTANCE OF PSYCHOLOGICAL HELP TO ACHIEVE YOUR GOALS
- Don’t miss my tips!
REVIEW OF PREVIOUS PURPOSES
Only 8% of people who have New Year’s resolutions stick to them. Does this mean that these purposes are meaningless or that only a small minority are committed enough to their goals to achieve them? No, you just have to make some changes to get there.
The truth is that it is very common that each year you set too many resolutions which in the end you end up forgetting in the first months of the year or it may be that the need to make a clean slate often leads you to set yourself too ambitious goals that end up failing. get forgotten on a piece of paper.
So, the first thing you should do, before starting to write a new list with your resolutions for 2022, is to propose one thing to yourself, take a look and review the list of resolutions you made for January 2021, and carry out an analysis of the results. past failures, with curiosity and openness, without unnecessary criticism, for this you should ask yourself the following:
- Which of those resolutions have you carried out throughout this year?
- Which ones have you not met or have you not even tried?
- Why have not you done it?
- How do you feel about not fulfilling them?
Surely many of the purposes you have not fulfilled, do not worry, it is something that happens to most people.
77% quit after the first week and 40% quit after 6 months, so only 8% of people keep their resolutions throughout the year
WHY CAN’T YOU FULFILL YOUR PURPOSES?
Going to the gym, quitting smoking or saving more money are three of the most common resolutions that are focused on changing habits in our lives. In short, maintain a healthier lifestyle. Some focused on personal projects such as traveling more, better organizing finances, learning something new, etc. are also common. However, there will be as many and as different as people.
But the reality is this list that you made with such enthusiasm in the end, the only thing that ends up generating you is frustration, stress , anxiety , sadness or depression by falling into negative thoughts about yourself. The motivation and enthusiasm with which we start January is not the same as in February, it goes down until in the end you end up giving up and you go back to your old habits, totally you don’t change anything.
But don’t worry, because that’s normal, to give you an idea, 25% of people fail to fulfill their resolutions during the first week of January. 77% give up after the first week and 40% do so after 6 months, so that only 8% of people fulfill their resolutions throughout the year. But… Where is the problem? What is wrong?
The main factors why you do not achieve the famous New Year’s resolutions may be the following:
- ill-defined purposes
Surely you know the popular saying that says ” there is a long way between saying and doing ” in these situations we can apply it perfectly. That is, you tell yourself that you are going to do many things but you never get to practice. You create your list without taking into account your availability, in case you don’t know, the improvements that we propose in our lives need time to become a reality.
In addition, you write the purpose without an action plan to accompany it, some steps that guide you towards its fulfillment . Setting unrealistic goals or setting too many goals are the main reasons that ruin New Year’s resolutions.
- They are not the right purposes
Other times the problem is that the objectives are not yours, but rather that you write down the most popular purposes without thinking about whether they really connect with you, with what you need to improve your life and be happier. For example, joining the gym because the people around you have done it, but in reality you know that this is not the only way to play sports and have an active life and it is not interesting enough to be constant for several months. In the end, after the first few weeks of training, you give up on the project.
- fear of change
This is responsible for the abandonment of many purposes. Every time you propose a change, a transformation is necessary that forces you to leave your comfort zone, to make an effort and change some of your habits. Fear is an emotion that accompanies us every time we do something new and nothing happens. However, often the mere thought of change is enough to instill fear, which is why many people prefer to stay in their comfort zone, continually putting off tasks for a tomorrow that will never come. And it is that lacking a detailed plan is the surest way to not achieve a goal.
Perhaps the key is to see the new year in a different way, as an opportunity to take care of yourself by doing things that you like and that really connect with you, those things that allow you to enjoy day to day, enjoy your life.
HOW TO ESTABLISH ACHIEVABLE PURPOSES OR GOALS?
If you’re not sure where to start, start by reflecting on your past year, thinking about the difficulties you’ve had and the things that have gone well. From there, pick an area or two to focus on.
From there, the second step you have to take is to think about what is the personal change you want within yourself and that transforms your life and experiences? Perhaps the key is to see the new year in a different way, as an opportunity to take care of yourself by doing things that you like and that really connect with you, those things that allow you to enjoy day to day, enjoy your life.
That is why I recommend that you make resolutions whose benefit falls on your mental or emotional health , instead of setting goals focused on weight or money. Because when you focus your energy on protecting your mental health , you’re making an investment that pays off all year long. In the end, the best resolutions are the ones that work for you, but if you need ideas, I can help you. Here are a series of practical and useful purposes:
- say no more often
You are not required to say yes to every social invitation, favor, or event that is proposed to you. Saying ‘no’ is an important way to protect your borders, set your own boundaries and take care of yourself at the same time. Pay more attention to how certain requests or expectations make you feel. If you’re worried about what they’re asking of you, if it makes you angry or stressed , it’s probably some kind of imposition on you or something you don’t want to do.
You can also review the costs and benefits of saying yes or no, which will help you understand your motivations and concerns . The beauty of saying no to a potentially uncomfortable or stressful situation is actually saying yes to something more interesting to you, like recharging your batteries or spending time with loved ones. Similarly, if someone else is responding negatively to your decision, try not to take it personally. Remember that he is not being rude, he is simply prioritizing his well-being.
- Spend more time taking care of yourself
Taking time for yourself is not a luxury, it is a necessity. Time for yourself is crucial for your mental and emotional well-being, so setting aside at least one hour a week to do something that enriches you, such as taking a long walk, going to English class or meeting for coffee with a friend.
If you find yourself returning to your destructive habits, patterns, or thoughts, pull out your planner and look at the last time you spent an hour with yourself. If you feel extremely tired, anxious, or easily irritable, you may need to increase the frequency of those self-care rituals.
- Learn something new
Focusing on learning and growing throughout your life is very positive for your self-esteem , your spirit and your vision of life. Is there something you’ve always been interested in but have been too busy or afraid to try? Well, that’s what you should focus on. For example, learning to make soap, studying art history, practicing yoga, or going back to doing something you loved as a child. The key is not to perfect a new skill, but to stimulate your mind, challenge yourself, and discover the joy of learning simply for the love of the art.
- Change the way you talk to yourself
Eliminate those toxic thoughts that limit you. Language has immense power, what you say to yourself creates an emotion, and that emotion produces behavior. The key to changing your perspective and simultaneously developing healthier habits is to change your internal dialogue. To do this, I recommend replacing the word “should” with “I would like to”. For example, instead of saying “I should call my mom more often,” change it to “I’d like to call my mom twice a week to catch up.”
The word ‘should’ gives an expectation of perfection in our lives that is often unrealistic, while the expression ‘I wish’ removes the feeling of not being enough and reduces pressure.
- Make a plan for each day
Small daily resolutions create a roadmap for what you want to accomplish throughout the day, and more importantly, they set the tone for how you want to act and feel. Plans and intentions should always be placed in the positive, so that your mind automatically goes from a corner of fear or lack of ideas to a place of abundance and hope.
You can be more or less specific. For example, “I’m going to be open and attentive to every person I come across” or “I’m going to spend at least an hour on that project that I’m always late for.” Ideally, that plan or that intention becomes a daily practice, like brushing your teeth, so that you don’t forget to consider it every day.
And remember that it is a process, not necessarily something that is going to be achieved quickly, so it is important to allow yourself not to stick to it every day.
TIPS TO ACHIEVE YOUR GOALS OR NEW YEAR RESOLUTIONS
To stay motivated throughout the year and your mind set on your goals, the trick is to set resolutions that are more focused on improvement rather than on achieving a specific result. Think of your purpose as an intention or as a conscious decision, whether daily, weekly, or monthly, that helps you improve an area of your life. And remember that it is a process, not necessarily something that is going to be achieved quickly, so it is important to allow yourself not to stick to it every day.
To do this, I offer you five tips that must be taken into account to increase the possibility of success and thus make New Year’s resolutions a reality.
- Create a list of realistic goals
Take advantage of the rest days to find a moment and become aware of what you want, set goals that make sense to you, that lead you to improve one or more aspects of your life, all while being realistic with yourself. For example, saving some money to be able to travel abroad in the summer for a week is perhaps not a very realistic goal if you have a salary that allows you to live and cover the necessary expenses.
We often set ourselves goals that are too high, which we cannot achieve and this causes us to get discouraged. Better start by trying to think of purposes that are within your possibilities, what you can afford, such as going on vacation to a closer place and fewer days. The goals that depend on us are easier to achieve, because the goal is written based on what depends on you and it is specific, you know exactly what you have to do and how.
It is also very important to keep in mind that creating new routines may not be easy and that each of your New Year’s resolutions takes energy, change and discipline. That’s why try to make your purposes few and concrete. “Lose weight” is a very generic purpose, try to specify a little more by thinking about how much you need to lose weight, what weight loss methods you are going to follow, if you are going to consult a professional… in this way it will be possible for you to follow up to see if you are. or not fulfilling and you will feel more committed to your purpose. Specify the goal as clearly as possible so that the mind can visualize, measure and describe it easily
- Trust yourself and allow yourself to fail.
The entrance to a new year is time to trust yourself again. Placing all the trust in one’s own person is essential to continue. But it turns out that sometimes, some goals will not be achieved, and it is essential to be aware of this. In that case, we should not get frustrated and blame ourselves, but simply allow ourselves to fail at times and see what solution we can apply to improve it.
It is also important to listen to each other and give ourselves permission to do what we need at all times, even if that means not reaching one of the goals we set.
It is also essential to always remember that, with effort, perseverance and motivation , we will achieve what we set out to do.
- Design an action plan
Good intentions are all very well, but they often get stranded in the world of ideas. That is why it is not enough to keep your resolutions in mind, fantasizing about how you see yourself fulfilling each of them and how wonderful that would be. It’s okay to fantasize but it’s better to put them into practice and that is achieved with an action plan which helps you plan the steps to follow to fulfill them.
To make the resolutions become a reality, the first thing is to write them down based on the idea of what is the reason for making this change in your life, what are the benefits you are going to get and what resignations you have to do to get them. . What is consciously planned makes compliance easier, so in order to make a good plan you will have to ask yourself the following questions:
- What steps are you going to take to carry them out?
- Is it something you can do alone or will you need the help of other people?
- How much time do you have to devote to it? Do you have to give up something to make time for it?
- What are the difficulties you may encounter along the way and what could you do to overcome them?
- Keep track of your purposes.
Write them down! This will allow you to evaluate your progress, adapt the strategy and divide the objective into sub-objectives. Keeping track will help you turn your purpose into a habit. Think that this purpose is a change that you are introducing in your life and you need to be especially aware of it and see if you are achieving it. It’s not about punishing yourself and blaming yourself if one day you don’t. Rather, it is to reflect on what you will need to change in order to achieve it.
- Motivationto fulfill them.
Every time you start with new purposes, you do it with the best of intentions, but often you soon lose sight of that goal and get carried away. You lose the initial motivation , and little by little your purposes become a dead letter. To stay motivated, remember what your life will be like once you achieve it, how it will benefit you, how you will change or how you will feel and above all that each small step you take brings you closer to your goal. The sooner you start fulfilling your New Year’s resolution list, the more motivated you will be to continue.
Experience the power of visualization. Visualization is a great tool. However, all the studies confirm that just visualizing the goal does not increase the probability of reaching it. The secret is to imagine the entire process, including possible bumps, setbacks, difficulties. If you visualize an obstacle in your mind and look for possible solutions, when it actually occurs it will no longer have the power to paralyze or demotivate you.
And as an extra bonus, I would advise you to surround yourself with people who motivate you, who support you, who believe in you, find “your group”. The objectives that we share with a group are easier to achieve.
Poor emotional management of this new beginning can be a problem, and can cause other difficulties such as anxiety , depression or stress .
THE IMPORTANCE OF PSYCHOLOGICAL HELP TO ACHIEVE YOUR GOALS
Everything in life takes its process which means that to achieve your goals you will have to start from the bottom and gradually overcome obstacles. One of the most frequent problems that we usually commit in terms of objectives is wanting to start the house with the roof, that is, setting very high objectives for which we are not yet prepared and naturally, frustrations come later. Everything that is worthwhile in life costs effort and time, for that same reason you have to be very clear that in order to build the roof of your house it will be important to have a solid base on which it can be supported.
Poor emotional management of this new beginning can be a problem, and can cause other difficulties such as anxiety , depression or stress .
Psychology can help you make the goals you set realistic, teach you to maintain constant motivation, review those misconceptions that may appear during the process of achieving goals. You can learn to work on these thoughts, since many times our worst enemy is ourselves when we boycott ourselves, hence the great importance of being able to count on the psychological support that teaches you to be realistic and less hard on yourself in order to achieve your goals. .
Although, as you already know, if you implement these tips and do not succeed, there may be other factors that are influencing. If you consider that you need guidance on how to manage this situation, I advise you to seek professional help.
