What are emotions? Emotions are biological reactions to stimuli. They are there to promote the response of our body to various situations and help the survival of the species. Each one plays a role (anger activates us, fear paralyzes us or makes us flee, love calms us and facilitates coexistence …).
The problem arises when the emotions we feel are disproportionate to the stimulus and, therefore, harm us. What can we do then?
Marian Rojas Estapé, psychiatrist, author and lecturer, focuses her studies on the union of the mind and the body to understand human behavior and diseases. She considers good management of emotions key to be happy and reminds us that “We cannot see the body or its symptoms without trying or inquiring about the emotions and the mind.” In this Psychology-Online article we show you 15 techniques that will help you manage emotions in a more adaptive way.
We can use different tools and techniques to manage emotions. Some of those that we propose will serve you for a specific moment. Others are designed to be practiced assiduously and thus develop certain skills that will be of great help when the time comes.
You may also be interested in: Managing emotions: strategies, techniques and examples
Index
- Knowledge of emotions
- Thought stopping
- Muscle relaxation
- Diaphragmatic breathing
- Music
- Empathy
- Identification of emotions
- Emotional diary
- Full attention
- Self-instructions
- Assertiveness
- Scenes
- Rational Emotional Behavioral Therapy
- Logic reasoning
- View to the future
Knowledge of emotions
To learn to manage emotions, we must know a key concept developed by Daniel Goleman : emotional intelligence .
Daniel Goleman defines emotional intelligence as the ability to recognize our own feelings and those of others, to motivate ourselves and to properly handle emotions. Therefore, the first step for effective emotion management is to know the emotions and learn to identify them in ourselves and in others.
It may seem like a very simple task, but there are many emotions that are expressed differently depending on the culture. However, in the field of study of emotions, some basic emotions were identified that are expressed in the same way regardless of culture:
- Joy
- Sadness
- Fear
- Go to
- Disgust
- Surprise
The emotional self – control is the ability to manage emotions so they do not take ownership of our behavior. It contemplates managing negative and positive emotions , since, although they are not unpleasant, they can harm us in different situations.
- For example, receiving good news in a tense or sad environment (a class or a funeral) can provoke a happy reaction that it would not be advisable to show out of respect for others at that time.
We might think that emotions cannot be controlled because they are biological reactions such as hunger or pain, however, we can learn to express them properly .
Thought stopping
This technique for managing emotions consists of using a keyword to stop the thought that generates the emotion. You can choose the word you want, being recommended that its meaning is stop, stop or similar. Some examples are “stop”, “stop”, “enough” and “go!”
Muscle relaxation
Relaxation is very indicated to relax the body when an emotion activates it. It is advisable to practice it daily because the more you practice it, the less it will take you to relax when the time comes.
You can start with many muscle groups (for example: left hand and arm, then right, biceps and left shoulder, then right…) and later reduce the groups (arms and shoulders, head, legs…).
Here you will find all the steps of Jacobson’s progressive muscle relaxation .
Diaphragmatic breathing
This technique to manage emotions consists of breathing expanding the abdomen so that the lungs widen. Diaphragmatic breathing favors concentration and relaxation, which is why it is highly recommended to reduce the activation of the body and calm us before an intense emotion. In the following video we explain how to practice it.
Music
Music can make us feel emotions and change our mood . Activate, relax and even promote concentration or creativity. That is why you can use it to regulate emotions as you need.
Empathy
Emotions can change a lot when you view the situation from someone else’s perspective . If you make an effort to put yourself in his shoes and see things the same way he or she does, your emotions are likely to change.
In this article we explain how to practice empathy .
Identification of emotions
You can do this by writing a list of emotions and the most common ways to express them in your culture. Knowing how to identify emotions when they start to appear will help you act quickly so you don’t feel overwhelmed.
Emotional diary
Writing an emotional journal is a good technique to know what usually causes your emotions. It consists of writing at the end of the day the moments in which you have felt intense emotions, what has happened just before and what has gone through your head.
Full attention
Another way to get to know your emotions better to learn to manage them is to pay attention to them and feel them as they are. Without thinking if it is good or bad, without judging, just feeling it and objectively describing it in your head. In this article we explain how mindfulness is practiced .
Self-instructions
Prepare some simple instructions that you will say to yourself in case you notice an intense emotion. In addition to knowing what you have to do to not get carried away, it will remind you that you want to manage your emotions and that you can do it.
Assertiveness
Assertiveness training is very useful for managing emotions, since many times these (frustration, anger …) are produced by a wrong communication style. In this article you will find examples and techniques of assertive communication .
Scenes
The role-playing is a technique used in psychology to practice various skills . Regarding emotions, it can help us learn to respond to certain situations. If you do not have the possibility to do it with a psychologist, ask a friend or family member for help. It will be like doing scenes from a play.
Rational Emotional Behavioral Therapy
The behavioral rational emotive therapy is the best way to manage emotions. Once you master the TREC, you will hardly feel disproportionate or maladaptive emotions.
The TREC postulates that an event (A) activates the thoughts or beliefs (B) that cause our emotions (C). In other words, the events are not those that cause emotions directly, but rather the interpretation we make of them. Therefore, the same event can affect two people very differently. Therefore, by changing our beliefs or thoughts, we change the way we interpret events and with it emotions change.
Logic reasoning
Reason for the thoughts you have at the moment you begin to feel the emotion. For that you can use questions like:
- Is this what I’m thinking really true?
- Am I wrong?
- Is it so important to me that it makes me feel this way?
View to the future
Sometimes, the fact of reducing the activation of your body using, for example, muscle relaxation or diaphragmatic breathing, does not make you forget about the emotion. That is when you can stop to analyze the situation and think if what has happened will continue to matter to you the following week or month. If not, it’s not that important, is it?
This article is merely informative, in Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
