Dating apps are often written about, but few people take them seriously. If you avoid fatal mistakes, there is still a chance to meet love. These tips have already helped at least one person.
When I broke up with my boyfriend, my friends didn’t have any single acquaintances, I didn’t go to clubs, and only beggars and crazy people approached me on the street. In such a situation, the only thing left to do was sing All by myself in my pajamas, but instead I downloaded Tinder and in a couple of weeks found a guy with whom I’ve been together for a year now.
1. Don’t be afraid to meet people on apps
Many people don’t trust apps and think that they only have maniacs and desperate losers. This is a stereotype from 2009 with its Love Planet and texting with strangers. Remember how Carrie Bradshaw walked through Manhattan and accidentally bumped into the man of her life? I think there is no need to explain how much more complicated the situation is when you live not in Manhattan, but in Chertanovo. It is really scary to meet people there.
And if everything works out? After all, you will need to tell your parents and friends where you met each other. Online dating is still not taken seriously, so many download an app and hide it somewhere between “Weather” and “Health” so that no one sees, and then they themselves forget.
Don’t be afraid to meet people online and then tell everyone about it. After a few disapproving glances, half of your friends (and maybe your mom) will also install the app.
Besides, it’s an endless space for jokes. If you are asked where you met, you can answer: “At the races” or “In line for Timati burgers.”
2. Don’t judge by the photo
In dating apps, photos are almost all the information about a person. That’s why most people post themselves as they want to appear. Don’t get your hopes up, or it will turn out like with “Defenders”: the trailer is unexpectedly good, but the movie is as usual.
I remember meeting a brutal guitarist 10 years my senior, and on our date he told me he lived with his mom and was learning Klingon. Another Tinder friend only uploaded a close-up of his face. In reality, it turned out he likes to shoot a bow and arrow wearing elf ears.
There was also a cardiologist who looked like Ryan Gosling, but it seems he only knew the professional question “How are you today?” So I didn’t choose my current boyfriend by his photo. But it turns out he also looks like Gosling when he shaves.
3. Don’t be lazy to check social networks
At this point, I had about half of the candidates eliminated (not counting those who forgot to remove their girlfriend from their status). It turned out that there can be something worse in a social media profile than quotes from lads’ publics.
I found a whole album of little girls in the possession of one of my chosen ones – and this is not the kind of case where you are happy that he loves children.
4. Don’t wait to be conquered
Guys rarely text first in apps, and even less often ask out on dates. And girls don’t seem to expect anyone to pay for them in a cafe or give them flowers, but they still expect the first step and a few jokes. There is a suspicion that even Emma Watson herself can’t get rid of the “you shouldn’t call a guy first” mindset.
If you are interested in a person, take the initiative. Or at least try to keep the conversation going.
It is important for the interlocutor to see that all this is needed not only by him. Once a guy asked my friend if she was on Facebook*, got a simple “yes” in response and disappeared for a week.
5. Don’t use cliches
Never start with “Hi! How are you?” unless you’re Joey Tribbiani. But even then, it’s best not to go to extremes. My friend once wrote “How many matches does it take to cover one square meter?” instead of “Hi.” Only Sheldon Cooper can do that.
What to do? Try to find common themes in the first sentence. Don’t talk about yourself too much – it gets boring pretty quickly, even if you have a sense of humor. Instead, ask questions. At the same time, you’ll feel like Oprah interviewing Charlie Sheen after rehab.
6. Don’t text for too long
Set up a meeting as soon as you see that the person spells your name correctly, puts commas in the right places, and doesn’t dress up as an elf on the first date.
There are at least two downsides to long text messages. First, you risk discussing all the topics that are appropriate for first dates . That’s where all those stories come from, “but in text messages he seemed cool” or “and then he asked me what I wanted to name my kids.” Second, you can fall in love with the way he writes almost immediately, and when you meet, you don’t like his jokes or the tattoo that covers half his face.
And sometimes it happens like this. I once corresponded with a guy who took photos, read a lot, and grew orchids (which reminded me a bit of the creepy guy from Twin Peaks). At the time, he was on a business trip abroad, and we agreed to meet in a week. On Tinder, a week is three, so by the time he returned, I had met the guy I’m still dating.
7. Don’t agree to dates that are sure to fail
Sometimes you really like a person, but some little thing spoils everything a little. Like when you turn on the European Championship final, and Georgy Cherdantsev is commenting on it. If you immediately understand that you don’t want to listen to Cherdantsev, it’s better not to go on a date.
One of my friends went, and after half an hour she was already remembering the advice from “How to Get Rid of a Guy…”, and then for another half hour she was acting out the famous play about the neighbor who doesn’t have keys.
