The word “geek” has entered the Russian language quite recently, but has already become firmly established. Geek comes from the English word “geek” – a bore, a smart guy, a fan. Not to be confused with a nerd, who is simply a bespectacled person and can either be a geek or just wear glasses.
The ultimate embodiment of a geek is Sheldon from The Big Bang Theory. In real life, geeks are closer to Johnny Galecki: friendlier and a little less nerdy.
What problems will you face?
Doesn’t see the obvious
Psychologically, a geek is a schizoid, and this is not a diagnosis, but a psychotype. Often, such people think globally, but do not see what is happening under their noses, and in this they are somewhat reminiscent of a person with binoculars. Smart in complex things, but helpless in the elementary.
Solution
It is necessary to accept this feature. Concentration on your projects does not mean that the geek does not care about you, it is just that now his thoughts are in a parallel universe. Agree on a specific time that he will devote only to his business, and which – to communicating with you. Take care of the geek in everyday matters. Do not replace the mother, just be there.
Not confident in myself
Geeks tend to be unsure of themselves. But this is largely due to the fact that self-confidence is inversely proportional to upbringing. This is especially noticeable among geeks, since the reluctance to stand out is compensated by defense mechanisms: a tendency to solitude, a strict selection of company.
Solution
Remind the geek of his achievements at work or study. Support his aspirations to take part in a conference or some round table in every possible way. Gradually, through the experience of communicating with like-minded people, he will come to the point where he himself will start giving lectures and gain that very confidence.
Looks untidy
Many geeks dress sloppily, so when an HR manager needs to find an IT specialist for the company, he is warned that the sloppy appearance of a system administrator is not a reason to refuse him. Geeks are very characterized by conservatism in clothing, which was formed and stuck at the level of 14-15 years.
Solution
Everything is quite simple here. The geek is ready and can change. Be extremely correct, do not press and offer options.
Sometimes behaves tactlessly
Geeks do this not out of malice, but because they do not understand how they can offend others with their truth. Geeks do not have very developed communication skills . Their companies are small, they spend little time on communication. Sheldon is a vivid example of how social deprivation of a geek leads to such inability.
Solution
Point out if some words hurt you or offend others. Geeks are not very good at empathic communication, but they are great at analytics. Rest assured, he will definitely remember your recommendations if they are voiced calmly.
Introduce him to your friends. Just make sure that the first meeting doesn’t take place at a noisy party, but in the format of an evening with board games or going to the cinema. This way, common topics for conversation will immediately appear, and your geek will organically fit into the company of your friends.
Monstrously boring
Sometimes a geek is concerned with the smallest details that seem insignificant to others. But without them, the picture becomes less than ideal for him.
Solution
The decision depends on the situation. If it’s about his personal affairs and space, then let him do as he pleases. But his claims about the shade of the color of the chairs in the living room can be disputed, since this is already common territory.
What you need to be prepared for
Be prepared for a lot of weirdness that you will have to put up with if you want to live with a geek. As a rule, these weirdnesses are harmless. For example, 10 Transformers can live on the shelf next to the computer. And for a geek, this will be completely normal. Or he can be into collecting and collect Marvel comics on a certain topic
Geeks devote a lot of time to their hobby. Get over it.
They love games, and not simple ones, with a complicated plot or a large number of cards and rules. Geeks’ favorites are Dungeons & Dragons, Twilight Empire, Arkham Horror, and others. For the masses, it is a very strange activity to devote time to a game that can last from 8 hours to several days.
Computer games also prefer complex ones. If these are games about aviation, then the geek’s choice will fall on a flight simulator, as close to reality as possible. You yourself will not notice how the computer will acquire the right pedals for control, special joysticks, and the geek will enjoy the battle in the air with other players.
But your geek might also be interested in a submarine simulator. Most of the time, nothing will happen in the game! The geek sits in the submarine and calculates with a ruler (just like in real life!) the movement of the torpedo, taking into account the strength of the current and the displacement of the enemy ship. Then he fires – and misses. And he counts again.
Their hobbies may be unusual, perhaps a little childish or seemingly meaningless.
Try to join the geek’s interests. It is possible that you will like board games too. If you understand that you cannot share these hobbies with the same enthusiasm, then agree on the time that he will devote to his hobby.
If you decide to give him a gift, especially one related to his hobby, then it is better to sacrifice the surprise and carefully consult what exactly he needs.
What Not to Do with a Geek: Shortlist
Geeks are very suggestible, unnoticeable and modest, so they are easy to bully. Be careful in your criticism, choose your words.
The geek is very patient, can withstand psychological pressure for a long time, and then turn around and leave. Do not wait for non-verbal signals that he does not like something: you may never get them.
The emotional life of a geek takes place inside, not outside, so he can’t always say that something is bothering him.
You shouldn’t laugh at his hobbies. If you can’t share them, then treat them with respect. For him, this is a clear marker of “friend or foe”. Since geeks have a complicated relationship with society, they carefully filter their surroundings. It’s quite easy to fall out of their circle of interests, and they take ridicule very seriously.
Why be with a geek
It all depends on what expectations you have from this person. If you study him, he is predictable, stable and conservative.
You will learn a lot of new things, perhaps completely unnecessary. Be prepared for a one and a half hour lecture that will begin with the words: “There is nothing complicated here, I will explain everything to you now.”
Geeks tend to be quite sensitive. They may not always understand what the other person is feeling, but they are capable of empathy.
Geeks are very attached and loyal. Including because for them finding a good life partner is a great success. Having found one once, they will not look for him a second or third time. And their lifestyle does not imply a wide circle of communication.
You may have to put in a little extra effort to get a geek to take up a new activity, but it will pay off big time when he or she embraces your interests as their own.
