Friends directly influence our ability to be productive and achieve significant results. We will figure out why this happens and tell you how to form a circle of close communication.
The second step to making any change in your life after planning is organization.
There are three key life resources:
- time ;
- energy ;
- money .
In this article we will talk about people. Namely, about those who are part of our closest circle of communication.
There is a good African proverb: “If you want to go fast, go alone, if you want to go far, go together.” For me, it has become an important rule. I understand that high results can only be achieved when surrounded by worthy people.
Each of us has people in our immediate environment who contribute to our growth. At the same time, there are those who slow down this growth and drag us down. The only question is how to preserve the first and reduce the influence of the second.
Who is stopping us from moving forward?
In relationships with people, there is a very good rule of average: you are the average of your ten closest friends. So, for example, if most of your acquaintances are convinced that drinking beer in the middle of the workday on Wednesday is the norm, then most likely it will become the norm for you too.
You can choose any criterion and check it in a simple way: write down your personal belief, make a list of your closest friends, mark those who support you in it. You may find that some of these beliefs were once imposed by “caring” friends who surrounded you with a dense wall
The moment I began to realize that not all friends had a positive influence on me, I decided to reconsider my immediate environment.
How to Decide Who to Continue a Relationship With
1. Having a friend with a goal in life
It is vitally important to me that a person strives for something. This concerns not only the goal of life, but also the principles by which a person lives, his attitude to family, work, success.
There are people who are used to things that are unacceptable to me, for example, hatred of their work. And if there are too many such differences, I talk to the person frankly.
2. Heart-to-heart talk
You definitely shouldn’t walk out the door and tell your friend, “You’re a loser, I’m a winner, so we can’t be friends.”
It is always worthwhile to have an honest explanation with someone you consider a close friend. Tell them what you are striving for and what is important to you. And after that, it is better to directly explain what is hard for you to come to terms with.
There are two possible scenarios: the friend understands everything, and we support each other in achieving personal goals, or we silently, and sometimes with accusations, part ways. The second option was never pleasant to me, but once again reminded me of the main reason why it happened.
Don’t get me wrong, I don’t meet all the requirements of the people I communicate with either. But I am always ready to listen to my friend and try to change something. If it goes too far against my beliefs, this separation will be as difficult for me as it is for him.
In the film “Vysotsky. Thank you for being alive” there was a good phrase: “If they turn away, it means they didn’t love.” If this is true friendship, then you will always respect each other’s values, without betraying yours.
Who is ready to lend a shoulder?
Of course, we value those people who are ready to support us for the very fact that we have them. Sometimes more is not required, but sometimes it takes a little more effort.
There are plenty of such people in my circle, but I am not always able to maintain stable relationships with them. Largely because I did not understand what such relationships were.
Today I define them by just one indicator – frequency of communication.
In friendship, we often take a passive position. We wait until someone writes to us, calls us, or offers to meet. But personally, I always try to be active.
It is important to maintain constant contact with your closest friends. Write once a week, meet once a month. Let your schedule be your own, but you must admit that it is not at all difficult to devote personal time to a person we value. After all, it is he who will come to the rescue in difficult times and lend a shoulder. Why not pay tribute to him now?
Don’t wait for the right moment, but write, call or make an appointment with someone you consider a good friend. Remember the Little Prince’s warning: “People don’t have time to learn anything any more. They buy things ready-made in stores. But there are no stores where friends are sold, and so people no longer have friends.”
Finally
I am not calling for a hasty cleaning of your VKontakte friends list and adding unwanted numbers to the blacklist. I just want to remind you that the people who surround us directly influence our ability to be happy, achieve significant results and live a full life.
