You can forgive with God’s help. Upon dying on the cross, Jesus paid the price for all sins. It will help you to free yourself from bitterness and the desire for revenge, paving the way for forgiveness. Forgiving is not a feeling that you cannot control. Forgiving is a decision you make, which then has an effect on your feelings.
Steps to forgive
Facing the problem
There are small things that we can ignore, because they are not a problem. But there are things that are wrong that we cannot ignore. Pretending that there is no problem will not help, it will only make things worse in the long run. You need to accept that there is a problem and decide to resolve it with God’s help.
Acknowledge your feelings
It is natural to feel angry, frustrated, sad, hurt, when someone sins against you. Pretending you didn’t feel anything, that everything is fine, is a mistake. Tell God what you felt and felt about the situation. God understands.
Over time, the pain should subside. If it doesn’t, ask God to help you not get stuck in these feelings ( Matthew 11:28 ). It is important to learn how to deal with feelings in a healthy way.
Decide to forgive the person who hurt you. Try to understand that Jesus has already paid the price for that person’s sins, as well as yours ( Colossians 3:13 ). To forgive is not to say that what this person has done is okay. To forgive is to live without letting the consequences of sin destroy you.
Tell God that you forgive that person. Tell the person what sins you forgive. Decide to let go of resentment. Give everything to God, let Him deal with the other person. If the person comes to ask for forgiveness, tell him that you forgive him.
Also read: what is forgiveness?
When someone sins against us, it is easy to reply by sinning too. If you have sinned, ask God for forgiveness for your attitude and ask for His help not to do the same again in the future. Look for ways to express your feelings in a holy way. Feelings are not the problem, it is what we do with them that can be bad ( Ephesians 4:26 ).
Often, when someone hurts us it leaves marks (depression, wrong ideas about you, fear …). Ask God to heal your wounds. If you leave, His truth will restore you. Don’t let sin win.
How many times should I forgive?
Jesus said that we must forgive many times (
Matthew 18: 21-22
). We must not keep track of the number of times we forgive. Remember, God has forgiven you for all your sins. You must also forgive the sins of others, even if they do not ask for forgiveness.
Read more about how often we should forgive.
Just because you forgive does not mean that that person deserves your trust. This will have to be achieved slowly. It also does not always mean having a relationship with the person again. There are cases when it is better to stay away from someone else, even if you have forgiven, for your own sake and safety.