Character attitude, philosophy of life: can loneliness be learned? Yes, because when it is daily exercise it becomes a radical discovery. But only if we have the courage to give it space. It can happen at any age, perhaps because we are naturally inclined to it by character, perhaps carried away by the events of life.
We tend to think that loners are incurable introverts . On the contrary, it is often among the apparently more expansive people that an unknown side is hidden, capable of flourishing in the shadows. The power of solitude is to dare to cultivate a corner all to oneself , reserved, intimately secret, jealously private. A garden of the soul where you can train self-esteem , resilience and the ability to be faithful to oneself before others.
If there is one thing that loneliness teaches us, it is to live independently . Knowing how to choose one’s own directions means nurturing the courage necessary to give more value to ourselves, shaking off the weight of the judgments and opinions of others.
Because nobody understands you
Sometimes I feel like I’m alone in the world. Other times I’m sure
Charles Bukowski
The person who knows you the most … is you. Have you ever thought about it? Think of all the occasions when you felt like a fish out of water: maybe it happened again today, just a moment ago. It happens at work, among friends and even in the family. Yet sometimes being a black sheep has its advantages.
The perception of feeling different hides an incomparable gift. Yes, because after a while you stop being so dependent on other people’s opinion and learn to rely on yourself. Those who love solitude know the freedom to try to fly without conditioning, exercising a gaze aimed at themselves, at their interior. The fact of feeling alone in the world can be a sentence or the beginning of a great adventure. You choose.
What does loneliness teach?
If you are sad when you are alone, you are probably in bad company
Jean-Paul Sartre
There is no one way to be alone. There are those who alone do nothing but wait for the moment when… the others will arrive. A bit like when you are single, but deep down you think you will be happier when you have met someone to fall in love with.
There are those who think that all in all it is better to cultivate bad relationships, even if ultimately frustrating, rather than having none at all. Then there are those who love solitude. Take an example from these people. Loners generally cultivate few but rewarding relationships , relationships are not for them to try to fill gaps. The secret is to start being happy: you don’t need someone to do it, but you must want it. Love for solitude is the ability to enjoy oneself and one’s life .
On your own you find out how strong you are
I am one who chooses solitude. Loneliness can lead to extraordinary forms of freedom
Fabrizio De André
“To be-me means to be alone” – wrote Karl Theodor Jaspers, a German-born philosopher and psychiatrist. Through the awareness of one’s own solitude the possibility of communication with the other takes shape and, at the same time, coming into contact with the other is only possible starting from two individualities . On the one hand the world and its chatter, on the other the contact with oneself: two poles between which we oscillate continuously.
Do you know how to consciously choose the moments in which to withdraw into yourself or do you simply sometimes happen to be alone ? The result may look the same, but the way you feel will be very different. Perhaps you have already experienced this feeling; it happened when you preferred to be alone instead of being in a relationship that made you unhappy. Every time you bear the looks of those who shake their heads and keep choosing what your heart suggests .
Exercises to find yourself
Sing and dance together and be happy, but make sure that each of you is also alone, as the strings of a lute are alone, although they vibrate to the same music
Khalil Gibran
Loneliness as the absence of the other, loneliness as the wealth of oneself. It is simply two different perspectives with which to observe the same phenomenon.
In Spanish, in general, the verb ser, “to be”, is used for everything that can be traced back to the ego: ser soltero, viudo… to be single, widower, even if these grammatical forms become more and more interchangeable. On the contrary, to say “to be married” we say estar, “to stay”. It is the temporal quality that makes the difference and the intention can be different depending on the speaker: different according to the relationship we want to express. After all, it seems to remind us of grammar, one is born and dies alone.
Loneliness is an existential condition : the original state. Those who know how to transform loneliness into the pleasure of finding the company of themselves build confidence and a deeper self-esteem. Because alone you measure the rhythm of your heart, touching the secret to start living in freedom .
Why make room for loneliness
I had three chairs in my house; one for solitude, two for friendship, and three for the
Henry David Thoreau company
Conscious loneliness is when I choose moments for myself: every time I welcome this empty space not as the absence of others but as opportunities for growth and evolution. To listen to my silences, let the words of the soul emerge from the depths, let the emotions settle .
How many moments do you dedicate to yourself and, above all, what kind of time? Are you always in a hurry, too busy doing things, or do you talk to yourself and wait for answers? Loneliness is self-introspection and exploration . Magic carpet with which to fly over the skies of our dreams. Ability to trust our most secret horizons.
