Causes of divorce: if you think that marital infidelity is the main reason for separation, you are wrong!
In fact it would seem that, among the main causes of divorce, there are communication problems and problems with themselves that affect the couple.
- Being together for wrong reasons.
Getting married, for example, for money or to please someone, is the preamble to an almost immediate divorce, but it often happens that you get married because it is considered the best thing to do.
Many people argue that the problems that led them to divorce were already present in the couple from the beginning, but if you go to examine the reasons that led them to get married, very often, at the base there is an error of assessment. A few examples? Getting married because everyone expects it to be like this, or because a lot of money has already been spent on the wedding and you feel that you can’t back down, or because you have built your dream house together.
- Lack of identity.
An addictive relationship to the other is not healthy. When there are no personal interests or opportunities to express themselves outside the couple, the relationship turns into a handicap. In fact, many people sink when they understand that they don’t feel comfortable doing things without their partner, or when they realize they don’t know what kind of music, film or food they prefer because they have confused their identity with that of their partner.
- Getting lost in roles.
Many couples forget their friends and their single habits once married, and the situation often degenerates when children are born, as most parents completely forget that they are a couple.
As children grow up and require less attention, many husbands and wives discover that they have gradually moved away so much that they cannot even remember why they got married, since they have nothing in common anymore.
- Different interests and habits
“ Everything has changed since we got married! “Many couples answer the question” Why are you no longer well together? “It happens that after getting married you will find in the other peculiarity that we had not noticed before, such as the tendency to spend or be too thrifty, or being messy or control freaks, to go even more in detail: I love animals and the partner is not, I love going to the beach and the partner in the mountains, etc …
Why didn’t he tell you before ? Maybe you should have asked him. It is likely that it was not your partner that changed, but your expectations. Is it possible to overlook this difference of views? Yes, it is possible, but not everyone succeeds.
- There is no more intimacy.
Even in the best weddings the sphere of intimacy is not always 100%. It happens in fact that one of the two monsters less desire than the other for a bad day, because it is not in excellent mental or physical shape or for a thousand other reasons. But when it happens, misunderstandings and bad thoughts often begin.
Men in principle feel the need for sexual stimulation to be romantic and women instead need romantic moments to be sexually receptive. As long as both manage to get what they want, they feel satisfied and satisfied, but if the mechanism gets stuck, and if you don’t have time to notice it, and to repair it, you will face a degeneration of the situation. You will begin to feel unloved and appreciated, which could lead to divorce.
- Unfulfilled expectations.
A very common mistake is to expect the other to give us that happiness that we ourselves are not able to give ourselves; so it happens that in “down” moments it is often required that one’s partner put in place the changes necessary to make us happy again. This attitude is manifested in the form of complaints, criticisms, accusations, complaints, threats, punishments or blackmail.
When one or both partners try to force the other to do things he does not want to do for the sake of his happiness, the result can only be a disaster. If your relationship doesn’t make you happy there is nothing wrong with wishing for a change. But remember that you are the only one responsible for your happiness.
- Money.
Money has always been a cause of discussion in most families: it is not always money problems that cause divorce, but the lack of compatibility with regards to the economic aspects.
Opposites attract, true, but when two people are at the antipodes of financial matters, they often end up getting divorced. Imagine the level of conflict between those who spend too much and those who want to save. Who is focused on their future and who lives day by day. Who has no problem taking out a loan and who puts aside money to make a wish come true.
Over time, this conflict escalates to such an extent that divorce seems to be the only logical solution.
- Being physically distant and not showing affection
Physical contact plays a vital role in a couple, and we’re not just talking about sex. In fact, gestures like a kiss not linked to the sexual act, a sudden embrace, taking a hand while walking, maintain emotional intimacy. Couples who do not show affection with physical contact, whether sexual or otherwise, are destined to feel foreigners sooner or later.
- Different interests and priorities.
Sharing interests and cultivating them together is essential for a good marriage. Of course, having time to spend on your own is just as important, but if there are no common passions and you are not looking for ways to live them together, you will almost inevitably leave.
- Inability to resolve conflicts.
There is no couple who never quarrel. For this reason, it is essential to identify basic rules to make sure that we listen and respect each other. Sometimes there is a need for an external referee to help us define these rules and explain how to go beyond resentment and animosity so that they do not take root in our relationship.
