Knowing how to say no, being able to express a contrary opinion or defend one’s rights and needs are key issues in adult communication. The Assertiveness is precisely the social skill that allows a person to cope from the serenity and honesty in defending their own needs while maintaining respect for others. The opposite is a cause of frustration and low self-esteem.
Alternatives to assertive behavior can be divided into two groups: passive and aggressive. The passive is shown as the perfect short-term alternative because it avoids conflict and seems, it just seems, to eliminate the anxiety of facing the problem. However, in the medium and long term it does not provide solutions. On the other hand, aggressive behavior also simulates solving in the short term, giving a sense of power and allowing emotions to be expressed . In a word, let off steam. But this type of behavior is often accompanied by poor relationships and feelings of guilt in the medium term.
What is it for?
The Assertiveness is essential to express contrary opinions as complaints or disagreements but also to make that sound truly fulfilled as such and not as words without background. To question authority, give an opinion or ask for favors while being the best ally to refuse to do favors when their execution makes us feel uncomfortable or inconvenient. In short, to resolve everyday conflicts without any and without any. It is a round-trip position that favors a dynamic of honest communication between the parties.
People are not born aggressive or passive and everyone can learn to be more assertive. Preparing helps make this behavior automatic and routine in our personal relationships. To do this, set your goal and prepare the dialogue by establishing the ideas with specific and specific words that make your message clear. Show how the situation makes you feel and ask for what you need to change it by establishing the consequences and leaving room for negotiation, so that the other can also make a profit . You can do it in writing to clarify your own ideas and leave no room for improvisation that can lead you back to passive or aggressive actions.
- Help set goals
- Eliminate frustration and feelings of guilt arising from the acceptance of behaviors with which we disagree
- It improves the perception of oneself and others
- Eliminate psychosomatic and anxiety conditions
Lack of assertiveness
- Undervaluation of one’s feelings
- Guilt, anxiety, low self-esteem, even depression
- Lack of self confidence
- Outbursts of anger
- Psychosomatic disorders
- Tensions in personal relationships