In your life, do you have situations and realities that bother you?
Can you answer that question? In fact, has he done anything to change situations or realities that bother him more than they should? It is interesting to think that, many times, we are not even able to identify what causes us discomfort, discomfort and even suffering . And this is the first step. To decide to change and do something in your reality, so that you suffer less, you need, at the very least, to recognize that this scenario exists.
What scenario? That there is something very specific that has been a cause of suffering in my life; and no longer get stuck in lines like “I’m in anguish , but I don’t even know why! “,” Life is difficult and I don’t even know where to start to change “,” I need to make it worthwhile what, in fact, is important in my life, but I don’t know how “and so many other situations.
Illustrative photo: Bruno Marques / cancaonova.com
Do you want to know the truth?
The time has come to leave the victim’s place ! The first point is this: recognize and assume that, in your life, who defines this place is you, and not luck, bad luck or anyone, but only you! Stop feeling sorry for yourself! I will make a very simple way with you, to help you see and identify such situations and, later, change what is really necessary.
Write down on a paper all the situations that come to your mind, which has caused some discomfort or even psychological suffering. Then, rank on a scale of greatest suffering / discomfort to the least, placing the numbers 1,2,3 … Now, see all the realities inserted in this role, which are up to you and which are not yours. Separate what is your problem and what is another’s problem. Knowing separates your choices from the choices of others is a great key to achieving healthy psychic life in today’s world. For, often, suffering is installed in us, which does not even belong to us, but to the choice of the other! Make this experience, evaluate what is yours and what is of the other.
Afterwards, remove the situations that are yours and, in a rational way, see what is really real and what is imaginary. What is it? Assess, in a conscious and mature way, the extent to which the situation that has affected you so much exists and is a problem, or if it is fanciful, more the result of my imagination, than it is real.
Finally, if there is anything left, that is yours and not the other’s, and that is real and not imaginary, see what can be done to change this situation or if you are the one who needs to change the way you look and react to that problem . There are things that are up to us. For example: if I have some degree of obesity , the problem is mine and it is real, and it just depends on me doing something to change this reality.
However, if I’m married to an obese man , it’s his problem and not mine, but it’s real. And what is up to me is to favor the home environment, so that it helps you lose weight, however, I will not be able to monitor you 24 hours or prevent you from eating. In this case, what I need to do is change the way I see and react to this reality, because it is close to me, but it does not belong to me, I cannot blame myself in the face of a choice that belongs to the other and not mine!
Having clarity about the realities that affect us is liberating, as it reveals to us that we often suffer from situations that do not even belong to us. This step by step described here will not solve your problem, as it would reduce the human being a lot, but it already serves as a light to see a way to go. For it is one of the countless ways that we can lead a person to recognize and face what, in fact, are his problems and sufferings.