Ending a relationship is never easy because it means that you are ending something you have built with someone. You are finishing a phase of your life where you had someone to share your doubts, your happiness, your fears and your difficult moments. So it is more than normal to feel sad and go through moments of pain and loneliness. However, you cannot surrender. Lift your princess head so that the crown does not fall. See now, some tips for you to look good after a break up.
In today’s text we will talk about:
- You will suffer
- Overcoming breakup
- Tips to look good after breaking up
- Your attitude is the most important
You will suffer
There is no way to sweeten the situation: a breakup may seem like a physical blow to our body (they don’t call it a “broken heart” for nothing…). Why? It is normal to feel rejection, sadness, emptiness, hurt, anger. These feelings can affect your emotional health in many ways, leaving you feeling depleted of energy, depressed and vulnerable. You lose interest in going out with friends and make you more insecure about meeting new people. Result: your self-esteem goes down the drain!
When you break up, you probably listen to Adele over and over, crying in your (third) glass of wine and eating chocolates. While this phase is an important part of mourning a relationship, there is a point where you realize you need to move on. The only problem? It’s easier said than done…
Overcoming the break-up can be very difficult, but some simple and healthy strategies can help to ease the pain of a breakup and make you feel better about yourself so you can look forward.
Tips to look good after breaking up
Get your things back
Take everything that is yours and what’s with it, especially the keys to your home. Not because you are afraid of your safety, but because you don’t want to wake up in two months and think, “God, he can still have direct access to my house.” It is an unsettling feeling, regardless of the terms on which you split up. If you still don’t feel strong enough to face it, ask a mutual friend to do it for you.
Avoid social media
That sounds hard, but listen to me: you don’t need to check his life and he doesn’t need to check yours. If the breakup is recent, any likes or comments can hurt you. If he’s doing well, you’ll feel like crap. If he is sad, you too will feel like garbage. There is not a good possible outcome in this scenario, so stop before you even start. If the temptation becomes too great and you feel the need to block it, give him a polite warning for your own sanity and then do it.
Once you’ve got all your stuff, said everything that needed to be said, it’s best to take a break from communicating with your ex, at least for now. Believe me, it is tempting to turn to it when you are suffering, as you have probably gotten used to it in the past. Now, however, it is no longer appropriate. It would be nice to be friends one day, but only time will tell what limits should be set. There is no way that this can happen immediately without getting too toxic.
Clean your house
Throw away the junk that is in your closet, but that you did not discard for any reason. This not only makes your place more livable and pleasant, it is also a therapeutic experience. It is a metaphor for cleaning your brain and your heart.
Buy some new underwear
It may be superficial, but it can be very efficient. There is a sense of satisfaction in sporting new lingerie and sexies that this human being has never seen and will never see. Try it and tell me if I’m wrong.
Accompany a friend to a yoga class or sign up for a gym and promise to go a few times a week. The endorphins released during physical activities make you happy. Exercise can help you avoid depressive or anxious tendencies, not to mention the obvious: you are single now and probably want to stay in shape. Work it.
Enjoy the things you like and put aside because of your ex
Now is the time to get back in touch with all the activities, food, music that you’ve always loved, but left out because your ex didn’t like it very much. Maybe he never liked you very much using a vibrant nail polish. Paint each nail a different color and violently bright, just because you can! Did he hate Grey’s Anatomy because he thought it was boring? Run a marathon with a bucket of popcorn on the side and have fun without someone complaining on your side.
Innovate in the visual (in moderation)
Getting a post-finish haircut is one of the best feelings in life. Just don’t overdo it too much because you might regret it later. Go to a spa, massage, change your hair color, clean your skin. You can pamper yourself to some extent and feel as elegant as you really are.
Focus on your friends
Now is a good time to direct energy to promote healthy friendships. Find comfort in these bonds that don’t require you to shave certain areas. These are long-term relationships that are worth spending time on, at least for the time being.
Don’t dismiss these invitations to chat over coffee, get your nails done, or watch a movie – especially if it’s a comedy. Why? Research shows that people who use humor to combat stress also feel less lonely and more positive about themselves. In fact, these simple walks “will increase your feelings of being cared for and supported”.
Avoid nostalgic or romantic daydreams
It is important to feel sad at times. It is a sign that you are human. However, DO NOT give in to that sadness permanently. Let’s say you and your ex usually listen to certain songs. Put this song on temporary retirement. Let’s say you discovered a flannel shirt that was forgotten by your ex and you were tempted to bury your face in it and sob. Literally throw it in the trash. Feel things, but don’t let sadness swallow you up. Determine how far your suffering can go.
Set a deadline for yourself
You can’t avoid the grieving process – trust me, it just makes the pain come back at unexpected times. However, you can avoid losing yourself in suffering and be well again. Prepare yourself mentally to really move forward and stop brooding over the pain of the past. Keep telling yourself that you are okay and eventually that will be true. Focus on your future. Focus now.
A great way to get the relationship out of your head is to set goals. Want to lose weight or gain 10 kg? Find a nutritionist, ask for help and start chasing results. You can also set other goals like entering a certain course that you were already looking at or even entering a university. You will feel more useful and empowered and have new things to fill your time.
Your attitude is the most important
Even if the end of the dating hurts, the important thing is to keep in mind that this suffering is temporary. Do everything in your time, the important thing is to maintain a positive attitude, even in the moments when you feel that you are failing. One day, you can be sure, you will laugh at all of this. You can use this experience as an impulse to grow and become an even better and stronger person.