When our self-esteem is knocked down, we need to make a list of all the things we do well and reclaim our value.
5 Ways to Boost Self-Esteem
If you have higher self-esteem, this has a positive effect on how you feel and on your resilience . This consequently allows you to better manage painful experiences such as rejection and failure, getting out of them more easily. Another positive factor is that having higher self-esteem protects you from psychopathological disorders such as anxiety and depression . For starters, you release less cortisol into your blood in stressful situations and therefore there is less likelihood that it will “park” more time inside your system.
But how do you boost your self-esteem ? It is certainly a difficult task and part of the reason is that it is something that is constantly changing, undergoing daily fluctuations. Self-esteem encompasses feelings about the way we see ourselves, how we feel globally in various domains of life – as a parent, as an athlete, as a partner, as a student, as a worker, as an artist etc.
Domains that take on a greater meaning have a greater impact on self-esteem. If you are a photographer in life, negative comments on your exhibition in the small town even from those who do not know photography, can have a significant impact.
If everyone loves you for your cooking, seeing a disgusted expression on a face when tasting your food could affect your mood and your day. However, maintaining high self-esteem is functional but in a clearly moderate way. A narcissist who has self-esteem to sell is in fact more vulnerable to criticism and negative feedback.
Below are 5 ways to boost your self-esteem.
1. Use positive affirmations correctly
Using positive affirmations like, “Today, I will win the marathon!” can have further repercussions for those with low self-esteem. Why? Because these statements are in stark contrast to our core beliefs. The fact is, these statements work for those whose self-esteem is already high .
For this reason, to increase self-esteem, you should use more “believable” affirmations such as replacing the sentence “Today, I will win the marathon” with “I will continue to train this way in order to win the marathon!”.
2. Identify your skills and develop them
To strengthen your self-esteem, you have to prove to yourself that you are worthy through the things you do best and that are in your area of interest. For example, if you think you can write, develop this skill by creating a blog, writing short stories, increasing your potential with targeted training courses, setting goals to increase your skills.
3. Learn to accept compliments
If you have low self-esteem, it becomes difficult to believe the compliments you receive, and this further reinforces negative beliefs about your self-image. How can you break this vicious cycle ?
Set yourself the goal of learning to tolerate compliments you receive even if they make you feel uncomfortable . The best way to handle compliments is to prepare responses such as “Thank you, I appreciate it” or “That’s really kind of you”. Gradually, this exercise will help us to begin to “believe” compliments and the fact that we no longer feel uncomfortable when they are given to us indicates that our self-esteem is rising.
4. Eliminate self-criticism and make room for self-compassion
As self-esteem drops, self-criticism rises. Try replacing self-criticism with self-compassion . How? Every time you catch yourself criticizing yourself, break the cycle of self-deprecation by trying to imagine what you would say to a dear friend if she were in your situation.
5. Give yourself value
In order to strengthen a weakened self-esteem, you can try an exercise like this: make a list of all the things you are good at. Start by finding five positive personal qualities: I can listen to others, I am a good cook, I am good at creating new ideas, I get great results at work, I am consistent with my value system etc. At this point, select one of these qualities to write a paragraph or two, explaining why that quality is important to those around you and how you can develop it in a particular situation. For example, if you got a bad grade in math, make a list of your qualities related to that context, focusing on the aspects that worked when you obtained efficient results that do not necessarily have to concern the academic part (good relationship with my classmates, respect for teachers, curiosity about certain topics, commitment to study etc.). The point is that increasing self-esteem is a real job that requires commitment and consistency but is necessary to maintain an adequate balance of our mental health.
