Every season of life has its joys. Up until 30. After that, everything sucks. However, many try to rebel against this reality by continuing to behave like a bunch of idle Proci even after they have passed the fateful age.
By prolonging vices that require a body uninfected by old age, these assholes not only lose years of life expectancy, but also their dignity.
After all, if even a guy with a lot of powers like Jesus chose to get killed right after 30, it seems that the funniest things can only be done earlier.
So, in order not to have to transform yourself into a stand-in for a young person, you have to indulge in certain whims while you are young. Here is the list.
The To Do Before Thirty List
#1. Break at least a couple of articles of the penal code.
#2. Meet the alcoholic coma, shake his hand and go back.
#3. Taking drugs? …maybe a little?
#4. Sexually experiment with students from at least 5 different faculties (or alternatively workers registered with 5 different professional associations)
#5. Finding out that long distance relationships don’t work.
#6. Losing at least a quarter of your brain cells while on vacation with friends.
#7. Waking up in the bed of someone you don’t know.
#8. Cracking a couple of ribs at a concert.
#9. Spreading euros, vomit and orgasms (not necessarily in that order) in a foreign country.
#10. Living in a college apartment.
#11. Living bad days because your girlfriend doesn’t have them.
#12. Getting beaten up by an ex for just cause.
#13. Sneak into a party of strangers and become the king, or at least the main attraction.
#14. Smashing a phone by doing something you don’t remember exactly what.
#15. Before you turn 30… you have to have two relationships at the same time and try to make them both last as long as possible.
#16. Having a party at your house and finding out you know almost no one there.
#17. Develop at least a couple of addictions, so you have a hobby when you get older: detoxing.
#18. Have sex, preferably at the same time, with two people from two countries at war with each other.
#19. Leaving for a vacation without having the slightest idea of where you’ll sleep.
#20. Have fun…A lot!
