9 tips on what to do when your relationship gets cold

Suddenly, something changed in their relationship. You are not sure what it is exactly, but some things started to get different, but now you are no longer close to each other, the moments together are rare … The anxiety you felt before a date is a thing of the past. If this is the current situation in your relationship, it is a warning sign. The passion probably ended and a period of cooling in the relationship began. This does not have to mean the end of a story, however, to overcome this phase, a joint effort is needed. Now see 9 tips of what to do when the relationship cools.

In today’s text we will cover the following topics:

  • It’s normal to go through this phase
  • 6 Signs Your Relationship Has Chilled
  • 9 tips on what to do when your relationship gets cold
  • Is there a solution when the relationship gets cold?

It’s normal to go through this phase

All relationships go through ups and downs that, on more than one occasion, lead to fights and even breakups. But everything could be avoided if, instead of focusing on the worst side of the story, we stopped to analyze the situation and look for an alternative. Although some say that when the passion disappears there is no return, I am one of the people who believes that, as long as there are ashes, there is always hope to rekindle the flame. With a little effort and worry, you can detect in time when your relationship is cooling down and come back to love and be loved. So don’t be discouraged, spot the signs and turn on the romance’s recovery mode.

6 signs your relationship has cooled down

1. Absence of physical contact

One day you will wake up and find that you barely touch. There are no sneaky kisses, sudden hugs, seductive touches. When you walk, you no longer hold hands, not even to cross the street. This absence of contact has probably become commonplace for you. However, kissing, touching and feeling your heart pounding is essential for a healthy relationship. If there is no seduction, there are no surprises, so it is better to pay attention.

2. Goodbye to spontaneous calls

When you are in love, it is common to call someone you love just to know how he is, or send a message with a kiss or a heart. However, if the relationship has cooled, these little spontaneous gestures are in the past.

You can spend the whole day without talking, without knowing what the other is doing and neither of you finds it strange. In fact, if one of the two makes a call just to make small talk, the other is surprised and the conversation ends up being short and unsatisfactory.

3. Sex is increasingly rare

Forget what magazines say about how often you have sex. Instead, think about how often sex makes you both happy. If you are used to intimacy twice a week, but in the last year more or less started doing it only once a month, something is wrong. The relationship between you probably has cooled down.

When sex is lacking in a relationship, it becomes much more difficult to connect and talk. Likewise, if the connection is missing, it is much more difficult to have sex – the two situations often go hand in hand.

4. The tours for two are over

You don’t have to go out to dinner in a romantic restaurant every week, but when we are in love, we always try to combine outings for two, whether for a movie, theater, bar or even a walk in a park. When there is passion, even sharing a sandwich becomes romantic. Stop to think: How long have you been doing this kind of activity?

5. Discussing became routine

It is normal for a couple to argue from time to time, we are not robots; inevitably, one will have a different opinion than the other. However, if the discussion becomes a constant in the relationship, replacing even the dialogue, it is a sign of maximum alert. Often, they are meaningless, exaggerated and can hurt the other unnecessarily. If you can’t get through a day without arguing, then there is no doubt that there is a problem and that you need to do something to change when the relationship cools.

6. Time together is martyrdom

The time they spend together, instead of being a joyful and fun moment, becomes tedious and monotonous. You can no longer enjoy the moments together and anything can be cause for irritation. If it’s a tour, they both want it to end soon so they can go home.

After all, you are used to going alone or with friends to any event. If this is already a habit, be careful, it may be an indication that your partner’s presence is no longer important in your life.

9 tips on what to do when your relationship gets cold

The good news is that even though the relationship has cooled, you can save it if there is still love between the two. You just need to make an extra effort for a while, until the relationship is healthy and exciting again. But how to do that?

Fortunately, the things you can do to add a little pepper to your relationship are not that difficult; they only require dedication and energy from both parties. Here are some tips to rekindle life for two:


The first thing on the list is not that difficult, right? Well, yes and no. When I say “communicate”, I don’t mean your usual chat about how the day went and what you are going to do over the weekend. Instead, talk about what you two are feeling. There are many chances that your partner is also feeling stuck in a rut.

Both need to be able to speak openly and honestly. Sometimes starting a conversation about what’s wrong can help you find a solution that you didn’t even know was lurking just below the surface.

Spice things up in the room

Handcuffs? High heels? Transparent lingerie? Yes please! If you are feeling that your relationship has cooled down, the chances that the couple’s sex life is not going well are pretty high. There is no better way to spice things up than to get out of the routine a little .

Try new things

Introduce new elements. Talk bullshit. Send erotic text messages. Playing with sexual games , making erotic fantasies. Try new and fun things in the room to rekindle the flame of the relationship.

Schedule meetings

Often, in long-term relationships, we get so used to each other that we stop doing simple things, like going out with two. Whether you live together or not, it’s easy to start spending time on the couch watching Netflix because it’s comfortable.

This can be one of the things that leads to a routine in the first place. Instead of being content with just sitting around and not really doing anything, schedule some meetings. It doesn’t have to be anything very elaborate, they can be as simple as getting up and taking a walk, instead of watching television. You can also have breakfast in a restaurant on Sundays, instead of lazily staying at home. Being in new environments will excite both of you and make you feel more alive.

Get off your phone

Phones, tablets and computers are practically the death of the modern couple. One of the reasons you feel your relationship has cooled down is because you two may no longer be focusing on each other. The two of you are more likely to be spending a lot of time on your cell phones. It is a fact, everyone does that.

One of the easiest ways to start getting your relationship out of the rut and what to do when your relationship gets cold is to turn off your phone when you’re together. Create special “no cell phone” times, where you should only pay attention to each other and what you are doing.

Plan a mini-vacation

Leave the house for at least one night and two days somewhere that interests you both and create new memories together. You don’t have to go far from home or spend a lot of money. The key is to spend quality time together . Even if you have young children or are overwhelmed with work or other responsibilities, this is very important.

Make room

Sometimes the relationship has cooled because one of the two may be feeling suffocated. This can be caused by a series of charges from one party or because they simply lack more freedom. It can also demonstrate that the couple is in different tune, one wants too much while the other wants too little. If this is happening to you, what to do when the relationship cools is to give the space the other wants. No charges or discussions. Follow your routine, act like everything is normal, and when you least expect it, it will start to miss you and will likely come to you.

Pay attention

In long relationships, it is common for the couple to fall into the routine and forget the small gestures that can bring happiness to life for two. A loving gesture when waking up, an unexpected touch, small everyday pleasantries can make a difference in a relationship. If the relationship has cooled down, one is probably forgetting to pay attention to the other and this is essential for the relationship to return to how it was before.

See a therapist

Okay, right away this is probably not something you want to do. The point is, seeing a therapist is really not a negative thing and especially can be very positive for couples.

If you’ve tried many of the other things on this list and it still doesn’t seem to be working, this can be a great solution. You will be surprised to find that a couples therapist can help you open up and this can help create a safe space for you and your partner to speak.

You may find, unfortunately, that at the end of couples therapy, the two should go their separate ways, or you may find that it is exactly what you needed to get the relationship going. Either way, it’s a great option to help you find out what’s wrong.

Is there a solution when the relationship gets cold?

Feeling that your relationship has cooled is not the best thing in the world, but it is not as horrible as many think. As I said before, if there is still love, there is still way to save that relationship and there is something to do when the relationship cools down, it just takes extra effort. If you are experiencing this, do not be discouraged, follow the tips in this article and you will begin to feel the passion rekindle between the two of you.

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