63 steps to get through life’s worst moments

Have you ever experienced something so terrible that you thought, “Damn, this is the worst moment of my life”? Has fate ever given you a bag of rotten lemons that you can’t make lemonade out of? If not, you are lucky (not for long). If yes, welcome to the club. We’ve all been in your place and we know how unbearably difficult it is to crawl out of the muddy pit of self-pity when life kicks you in the ass.

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Whether you’re still in that hole or you’ve already turned the page, here are 63 steps to get through your worst biographical moments. Everything is backed by science and by me.

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1. Slap yourself. Preferably stronger. Because if the thought of punching yourself in the face seems too painful for you, then your problem is actually not so serious. Chances are you’re just making the most out of her to get attention or a chance to feel sorry for yourself. It’s only when you’re truly mired in the depths of pain and failurethat you think, “Ha! Slap in the face? Nothing compared to my problem. Look, I’ll do it three times.” So either give yourself a slap in the face, or stop whining and get down to business.
2. Don’t compare your suffering to someone else’s. It doesn’t matter that your aunt had bigger problems last year. It doesn’t matter that your brother got hit by a car and never complained about it. You don’t know anything about it and you can’t compare yourself to them. We all treat what is happening a little differently, and therefore we suffer a little differently. Stop judging how much you have the right to feel bad and just allow yourself to do so.
3. Determine how you feel. Anger? Woe? Jealousy? Sadness? Despair?
4. Don’t suppress it. Suppressing negative emotions is killingyou. Literally. This means that if someone close asks “How are you ? ” and then you run away crying into your pillow and wondering why no one cares about you. By the way…
5. Go and cry if you need to. It’s not shameful. It’s useful. We all need to cry sometimes.
6. Seriously, cry. I won’t laugh at you. I promise.
7. Well, didn’t you feel better? Maybe you need a scarf? Or shall we hug?
8. Ask Mark for free hugs. There may be some logistical issues, but oh well. The thought itself is important here, right?
9. Blame someone else for your pain. Whose fault is it? Who is the idiot here? Find out who this person is as soon as possible so we can deal with this bastard.
10. Once you have found the culprit, forgive him immediately. No matter how hard it is.
11. Think about what you could do differently. What happened may not be your fault, but that doesn’t mean you couldn’t have done better. Where did you screw up? What would you like to fix if you could go back?
12. Forgive yourself immediately. We could all be better.
13. Understand that life has a price. All good things require some risk or sacrifice. With no exceptions. No one can go through life without a single scar.
14. Understand that pain will go away with time, no matter how severe it may be. Nothing is eternal. It will get better in the end.
15. Understand that gold is buried at the bottom of any stinking pit. Stop climbing up and start looking for it.
16. Tell your loved one about your feelings. Don’t expect anything in return. If he doesn’t hug you, I will.
17. Say “Everything will be fine,” even if you don’t believe it yet. Because it’s true, everything will be fine. Even if you are dying.
18. If you have no one to share your feelings with, find a counseloror support group. Now they are for almost everything. Might be worth going there, even if you have someone to talk to.
19. If you’re nervous about meeting a psychologist or support group, print out a photo of this pug in a taco costume and show it to everyone when you get to the meeting.

Screenshot: Markmanson.net

20. Okay, you don’t have to do this. But it’s pretty funny.
21. Promise yourself to do something nice for someone even less fortunate than you. Nothing brings us as much happiness ashelping others. Donate to charity. Buy someone a present. Pay for a haircut for a homeless person.
22. Do what you promised.
23. Do not tell anyone about your act. Do not take a selfie with a homeless person and his new hairstyle and do not post it on social networks. Let this be your special secret.
24. Don’t be afraid to be alone sometimes. Be your best friend.
25. Think of three life lessons to learn from this shitty situation. It’s hard. It’s not fun. It is much easier to get on the Internet and scribble angry comments. But this is the most important step. Take him seriously. What can this horrific experienceteach you? How can you use it to get better? Find three ways and write them down if needed.
26. Promise yourself that you will learn these lessons and perform better next time.
27. Tell yourself that it’s actually good that such a terrible thing happened to you. And that one day, perhaps, you will be grateful for it.
28. Then realize that you are most likely deceiving yourself. Sometimes life just sucks.
29. Refrain from harming anyone, including yourself. It is important.
30. Realize that most things in life are both good and bad at the same time. Our point of view is what changes everything.
31. Pour yourself a drink. But skip this step if: a) you are an alcoholic; b) you have health problems; c) you are already drunk; d) you are 12 years old.
32. Take a moment to think about all the amazing things in your life. If nothing comes to mind, think harder.
33. Think about how lucky you are to have all of this in your life. After all, you could be born in 14th century Africa and have your penis cut off (I don’t know if this happened in 14th century Africa, but you get the idea).
34. Think of three scenarios where your life would be much, much worse. It can always be worse.
35. If you can’t think of anything, take a day off and visit the ward for children with cancer.
36. Or just google it and then liethat you went there.
37. Start feeling guilty about being so sour, and you are not a child with cancer.
38. Forgive yourself immediately.
39. Pour yourself another drink. Cancer sucks.
40. Watch funny cat videos online.
41. Realize that the internet is a fucking amazing invention.
42. But don’t post cryptic social media posts looking for sympathy. It’s superficial and counterproductive.
43. Trolling other people and using your sadness, anger or hatred as an excuse for terrible behavior is also not an option.
44. Don’t give in to stereotypical thinking. The Internet makes things too easy. If your wife left you, it does not mean that all women are prostitutes. Just because your friends didn’t know how to behave at your father’s funeraldoesn’t mean everyone is superficial and insensitive. The world is more complex.
45. Tell your mom that you love her. Write or call her. No matter what happens, she’s your mom. If there is no mother, tell this to your sister. If you don’t have a sister, tell your best friend. If you don’t have a best friend, tell the concierge about it.
46. ​​Understand that the concierge needs love too. We all need.
47. Practice patience. The pain subsides with time. There are 63 steps for a reason (in fact, I have no idea why there are so many, but I think up on the go).
48. Do something nice for yourself. Eat ice cream. Play video games. Take up masturbation. Or do it all at the same time.
49. If you still feel like shit, get some sleep.
50. If you can’t sleep, make sure you stop drinking alcohol.
51. Set an alarm for the next morning. Get up and immediately do something useful and productive, no matter how terrible you feel. Any little thing will do.
52. Meditate.
53. Sing your favorite song out loud. It is advisable to do this in the shower or in the car so that no one can hear you.
54. If you are still crying, stop. If it doesn’t work, go back to step seven and repeat the process until you stop.
55. Remember the three lessons you formulated in two minutes yesterday? Decide how you can do one of them today and do it.
56. Repeat steps 47-55 at any time from the next three weeks to the next three years. It’s OK. We will wait for you.
57. Remember: patience.
58. Get out of the house and talk to people. Even if you don’t want to.
59. When you find yourself in the company of people who love you, tell them about a terribly bitter event that happened to you some time ago. Remember a funny detail. Laughabout it together.
60. Laugh at how much you cried. About how they couldn’t sleep. About how they masturbated while eating ice cream.
61. Realize that you are not alone. People don’t give a damn about you. Even if they don’t always know how to show it.
62. Realize that in retrospect pain doesn’t seem as important as it did at first.
63. Realize that your problemsare neither special nor unique, that you are neither special nor unique. And this is good news. Because it means you will never have to suffer alone.