Anger is one of the fundamental human emotions. In response to the impact To survive Anger makes us feel like fighting. But it doesn’t always have to be a fight. But may do something for a change
Although anger can help us survive the situation. Rise up and fight to protect yourself But the anger often has a negative effect. Especially to relationships with people around them Not only If we maintain anger for a long time It will adversely affect our physical and mental health as well.
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Psychologists have said that anger is an emotion that arises. To cover the true feelings that arise in the affected situation, such as anxiety. Regret Feelings of sadness or stress, etc.
Easily angry They often grew up in environments where they had to defend themselves, such as in violent families. Always be in a school or environment where bullies They must always be prepared for battle and survive.
Psychologists divide the personality into four groups to explain. Responding to anger Which can be described as follows
- People who are in control: These people tend to have clear plans. And there is always a need to control and manage everything that he wants. Under that sense of control This group of people has feelings of anxiety. And felt that manipulation would reduce their anxiety
- CunningPeople: These people don’t dare to deny anyone. Because I want recognition And afraid of being criticized or viewed as bad They will do whatever it takes to please others. But it feels bad that people often don’t recognize the value of what they do. This feeling when accumulating for a long time Became angry and expressed when it was They will feel guilty. And return to be considerate of others as before
- People who bully others: These people are perceived to be emotionally violent and bullying others. In fact These behaviors are due to the fact that they are being treated. And accumulate this anger Since childhood This group of people may exhibit violent behavior in anger. And hurt others Without a feeling of empathy
- People who blame themselves: These people, no matter what happens, see themselves as the root of their problems. And blame yourself for the cause of the problems that arise They will reflect on the problems that arise. Until there is depression Or they may act in anger. To hide the fears within the heart Often, fear leads him to avoid solving problems. To drugs, etc.
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Psychologists suggest a three-step approach to managing anger:
If you realize that you are an angry person. And unable to control their own emotions Use the following method.
Check your feelings every hour: Ask yourself how much anger you are right now. The score is from 0 – 10, which 0 is not angry until 10 is very angry. Ask yourself this question every Hours are like training according to your own thoughts and feelings.
Deal with Problems: If you start to feel that your anger is level 4 or 5, ask yourself: Is there any problem that we must address? Here’s how to use your anger as a guide. We are having a problem that needs to be solved. Instead of venting our emotions, for example, if the supervisor interferes with our personal time. Let us solve the problem by talking to him. Instead of showing anger in a way that does not benefit anyone.
Ask yourself how you feel again: As mentioned above, anger is an emotion that arises. Due to other feelings, such as anxiety Sad feelings Understand myself And find out why we feel that way
Reduce the risk of anger: This can be done by diverting your attention to other activities such as exercise, meditation, etc.
- Live in the present
When we are angry at levels 8 – 10, in general We tend to act by blaming others because we want others to do something for us. To make us feel better
However, remember that the person who will calm you down is yourself. This can be done by getting back to the present, such as taking deep breaths, meditation, distraction of oneself to other things. Exercise Journaling
While we are angry Our brain tells us to solve that problem. To cool our emotions, such as directing others to do what we want to quit, etc., which is not something we will feel good about. When our mood cools down Before you decide to do anything, make sure your mood is cool now. Not angry, etc.
- Adjust our own personality.
Verses 1 and 2 are ways to deal with anger, but method 3 will make you see that Anger It’s not a good solution to the problem. And often creates problems Including destroying relationships with people we love In which people of different personalities can adjust themselves as follows
People who like to manage : understand that Managing and controlling everything is not the solution to the anxiety we have because life is fickle. Totally unpredictable Instead of trying to keep everything as we planned. Learn to let go Learn to keep up with your feelings of anxiety and resolve, etc.
The considerate person : Stop thinking, “We should do it” for others, to be liked by others. To make others happy But turn around and ask yourself What makes us happy
Bullying : These people don’t even know they are bullying others. What they have to turn around is Take responsibility for your feelings and actions Instead of being angry with others and hurting others
People who blame themselves : they can change themselves. By speaking what you think And do not believe the negative thoughts they have about themselves Increase self confidence By solving various problems Arising by itself Instead of avoiding To do things that are useless for themselves, such as taking drugs
Anger has both benefits and is harmful to learning to manage it. And expresses in an appropriate way Will make anger energize us to do things Has been successful
However If you still have trouble controlling your anger or don’t understand the origins of your anger. Professional consultation is able to help you.