If there’s one category of people that pisses me off, it’s the confident ones. That’s because I envy them to death and I wish I was like them. They drag the group along by machine-gunning bullshit without even realizing it and live a happily dominant life.
Not me! It will take me three hours just to decide which TV series to watch tonight.
If anyone recognizes themselves in this list then they are insecure like me and it might be interesting to go out together and spend the evening deciding where to go for a beer . Or something else because I’m not sure I want a beer.
Here is the list of phrases that only an insecure person can understand
#1 Unsure people, when the navigator tells them to turn right, turn left to verify that that is the wrong road.
#2 When Internet Explorer asks to become their default browser they don’t know how to say no.
#3 When a group of unsure people have to decide where to go out for a night out, they spend the night in the parking lot listing names of clubs.
#4 The only way they hit on a girl is by looking at her.
#5 To make an insecure person understand that they like you, you have to show them drawings where fluffy bunnies with your names having sex. But usually that’s not enough and you’re forced to take their hand and lead them to the bathroom.
#6 For them, drinking is not a recreational issue, it is a social necessity.
#7 No matter how big a load of bullshit you say, insecure people will always wonder if it’s true.
#8 After a week from an event they no longer trust their memory.
#9 When they have to disagree, they start sentences with “you’re right, but…”.
#10 When they try to assert their opinions they turn as red as the rind of a grilled eggplant.
#11 They probably use a lot of adverbs so as not to forcefully emphasize the concept they timidly want to express in the sentence.
#12 They live on possibilities and probabilities to the point of joining the conditional-subjunctive fan club.
#13 They are totally incapable of booking travel in advance.
#14 They study the restaurant menu until the waiter announces that there are ten minutes left until the kitchen closes.
#15 Or they always take the dish they know.
#16 When they tell an anecdote, if they realize that the truth is not enough to capture attention, they start to shamelessly invent.
#17 They ruminate a lot about what they could have done or said in certain circumstances.
#18 Bring your friend, therapist, or bottle of Valium to oral exams.
#19 If their opinion does not meet the consensus of the group, they are very skilled at changing it without anyone noticing.
#20 Insecure people hate confident people.
