The beach produces different and opposite sensations in the Italian population. Some associate it with the joys of summer, others with El Alamein, a sandbox from which it is difficult to emerge alive. Considering that those who see everything in black are those who see better, while those who see the world in color are probably just colorblind, I definitely take the side of those who hate the beach and start the list.
Here’s a list of things that only people who hate the beach in summer will understand
#1. Sand that gets everywhere, even in places you didn’t know you had.
#2. Those who play frisbee, beach tennis, dwarf toss and in general any sport where a blunt object will soon hit your skull.
#3. Finding out that the living space promised during the lockdown remains a dream.
#4. The motor geniuses that run next to your towel kicking up a sandstorm just two seconds after you put on the cream.
#5. Jellyfish and people who want to pee on you when you get burned.
#6. The car after 15 friends climbed in with more sand on them than Bedouins in the Sahara.
#7. The street vendors and their bracelets are more disgusting than the big ass of the old lady under the umbrella next door.
#8. The queue to go, the queue to come back, the queue for the bathrooms, the queue for the showers, the queue for the stress.
#9. Men in swimsuits, or the murder of decency.
#10. The fight for parking, which you win when it’s time to go home.
#11. The whole slut who wanders around the shoreline in a wild state, forcing you to walk around the beach with four towels wrapped around your waist.
#12. Parents who leave their children off the leash.
#13. Knowing that the water you are swimming in has been used as a Sebach by hundreds of swimmers.
#14. Having to suffer like Punjabi fakirs with the boiling sand under your feet.
#15. The seigniorage-like prices of the stalls selling food and drinks.
#16. Which are nothing compared to those of the umbrellas.
#17. Being woken up by degrading songs blasting out of the speakers.
#18. The lost kids ads. But let them go where they want, right? They have a right to privacy. Hey, beach service, leave them kids alone.
#19. The embarrassing lobster color you get at the end of the day despite having applied cream.
#20. The fear of dying that comes over you when you take a bath after lunch.
