Uff..but do I have to? Okay .. but I warn you, I will be short and concise. And not because I believe in the persuasive power of affection phrases or in the gift of synthesis, said so it would sound better but I would be hypocritical. The harsh reality is that I’m lazy, very lazy, too much. So no more chatter, I start immediately with the list because this article did not even want to write and especially if you are a lazy DOC an introduction of more than 5 lines with the cabbage that you would read it from start to finish.
Here is the list of things that only those who are true pigs will understand:
# 1. You never want to do anything, and even doing nothing can be tiring at times.
#2. You would spend most of your day sprawled out on the sofa watching TV. The problem arises when you forget the remote control on the table and then rather than get up to get it you do a marathon of men and women, the secret and 5 afternoon with a lot of Eminflex advertising.
# 3. When you sit down you have the same gracefulness as a hippo, you let yourself fall on any surface that can support your buttocks and let out a sigh of relief even if you had not climbed Everest.
# 4. When you get up, after having carefully considered whether it was worth it, you emit grunts similar to those of a difficult bowel movement followed by a “ooopplà!”
# 5. When you are forced to do something first you have to puff those 4 or 5 times. Even before puffing puffs.
# 6. You are messy. Immensely messy. Why make the bed if I have to unpack it again at the end of the day?
# 7. Why put clothes in the closet if they invented chairs?
# 8. Why unplug the charger from the socket if your mobile phone runs out of power again?
# 9. The invention of the century for you is the desk chair. The wheels are not an aesthetic ornament, they were made to move from one part of the room (or the house) to another without lifting your butt. Brilliant!
# 10. The keyboard that suggests the words, the automatic corrector, the pre-set messages, the VOICE RECORDINGS! Music for your ears (less for those of those who have to put up with an hour and four minutes of voice mail).
# 11. Normal people, if they make a mistake when typing a text message, insert an asterisk and correct it, you rely on the ability of your interlocutor to interpret.
# 12. Normal people drink from glasses, you directly from the bottle
# 13. The option you love the most on a site is the “remember my password”. Possibly also e-mail and username, thanks.
# 14. On the other hand, when you respond to a job advertisement and instead of attaching your CV you must: register on the company page, confirm the registration by opening your e-mail box and then respond to a questionnaire. Ok, this job is not for me.
# 15. T-shirts, sweaters and sweatshirts must be strictly paraded in reverse, even if you are aware that it would take less time to take it off normally than to have to turn it over but it is stronger than you.
# 16. By the same principle, shoes should not be untied but parade, with the help of the other foot.
# 17. There would be another wagon to list but I have run out of my daily energy charge so if you have something to add, comment below. You don’t feel like it huh?