Parenting young children is an intense emotional experience for parents, especially mothers. While there is pure joy that comes from cuddling, playing, laughing, watching your child explore and seeing your child’s daily growth and discovery, there are also challenges. These are the times of stress, anger, frustration and resentment when not understanding why the baby is crying and how to calm him down, the toddler’s irrational demands, or the older child’s aggressive behavior towards the new baby at home. These experiences will naturally trigger a strong feeling that they are too much to handle.
However, most of the behaviors that are seen as testing are part of the development process, and are not meant to be malicious behavior. It is the child’s attempt to cope with difficult situations or feelings. That way, children need our help and not anger. So it is very important to always connect and regulate our feelings, because how mothers react in these moments will deeply affect children’s ability to self-regulate, control, and overall emotional health well into their future.
Mother’s Emotional Management
How parents react, including mothers, will affect the child’s mental and emotional growth and development in various situations. The importance of emotional management for mothers can be explored in the following discussions.
- Reducing the risk of child behavior problems
A study on parenting found that the more emotional control and problem solving a mother has, the less likely her children are to have behavioral problems such as throwing things or fighting.
- Reducing verbal rudeness in children
The study also found that mothers who were able to control their emotions had a reduced risk of verbal abuse to their children. Children who always get verbal abuse from their parents, especially mothers, are at risk of experiencing behavioral problems. There is a chance that later when he grows up he will imitate the harsh words or experience a crisis of confidence.
- Not being a controlling parent
Mothers who were able to control themselves cognitively were less at risk of being overly controlling parents. A controlling parenting style is also associated with children’s behavior problems. In addition, children who feel too constrained may grow up to become rebellious when they grow up, or become unreasonable children.
- Become a calmer parent
The importance of emotional management for mothers will be beneficial so that mothers can be calmer when their little one is throwing a tantrum. A calm nature will make it easier for mothers to think with a cool head and be able to solve problems in children with a more proportionate and correct solution, without involving emotions that can obscure logical judgments about a situation at hand.
- Avoid stress
Emotion is the fastest path to stress, which is never far from the life of a mother who takes care of her own children. The magical child’s behavior often depletes the mother’s supply of patience and becomes stressful. The buildup of stress and tension is also very dangerous because it can come out in a completely unsafe and mentally damaging form for both mother and child as well as husband and other families. Therefore managing emotions is a way to prevent stress experienced by mothers.
- Teach children to manage emotions
Children will imitate what they see from their parents, so if mothers can manage their emotions well it will be of positive benefit to very large children. He will also learn to deal with problems calmly, like what he saw when his mother had problems at home. Children will learn to participate in managing emotions and become emotionally mature individuals as well. Know the types of emotions in early childhood and emotional development in adulthood .
- Teach children to be level-headed
The importance of emotional management for mothers will also affect the way children think. Mothers who are able to overcome all problems with a cold head will be able to find the best solution without involving emotions which will only worsen the situation. Mothers will also give examples to children about how to solve problems with a cool head and not involve emotions.
- Learn to put feelings right
There is nothing wrong with having emotions, they are what show our humanity. However, these emotions also need to be controlled so as not to overdo it. By learning to manage emotions, we will also learn to place emotions according to their respective portions. In this way, the mother is also able to show the right emotions at the appropriate level in various situations.
- The mother is the emotional center of the family
The importance of emotional management for mothers also affects family emotions. When a mother has positive emotions, so should her husband or father and son. The management of positive mother’s emotions will also bring a positive aura for household development and also for children. Mother greatly affects the emotional state of the family as a whole.
- Become a more advanced person
The importance of emotional management for mothers can be seen from every action taken by the mother, which can reflect family life and in any achievement. With good emotional management, a mother will become a better mother. Not only that, a woman can get more qualities as a mature person, apart from her role as a mother. In either role, the person who manages emotions successfully will be a person who is more mentally advanced than before.
- Easier to get along
The mother’s ability to manage emotions in psychology will also facilitate her in socializing so that many people will feel comfortable around her. Easy association will also have a positive impact on children when they start learning to socialize. With a mother who has many acquaintances, the child will have no difficulty interacting with other people.
- Set a good example to children
Managing emotions successfully is certainly a good thing to do. Thus, mothers will provide a good example to children in the way of self-control that we must be able to manage emotions well under any circumstances so that the situation experienced does not become more complicated.
- Become a successful mother
Actually, there is no standard standard of success for a mother. Of course motherhood cannot be measured by anything, but mother can know her success in parenting based on herself and her desires. Managing good emotions is also a very good achievement in a mother’s life.
- Launch mother’s activities
Without overflowing emotions, our daily activities will run much more smoothly. Emotions will only interfere with the activities that have been prepared or scheduled every day so that the mother feels uncomfortable and often has to repeat it at a later date.
- Life is calmer
Excessive emotions will certainly make life unsettled. The importance of emotional management for mothers really needs to be done so that the life of the mother and family is calmer. Even without the chaos that occurs every day, mothers are prone to experiencing stress. If mothers can manage their emotions well, activities can be carried out in a calmer and smoother atmosphere.
Tips for Managing Emotions
As a mother, of course she has experienced various dramas with her children every day, so it is very easy and natural for mothers to be emotional quickly. You can try the following tips for managing your mother’s emotions:
- Looking for a quiet place
If there are other people at home or when the child is testing their patience, leave the child with them for a moment. For example to father or grandmother and grandfather. If no one else is around, try to find a quiet place away from the child. Make sure the child is safe when abandoned and the mother does not leave him for too long.
- Take a deep breath
One way to control your emotions is to take deep breaths. This can be done many times until the emotions subside. Mothers cannot calm down their children if they are not calm themselves, they will vent their emotions on their children.
- Positive thinking
Changing negative thoughts into positive ones will be very helpful in reducing your emotions. Try to see the child’s annoying behavior from another point of view, especially from the child’s point of view and how he thinks, what he really wants. How to control negative emotions and thoughts needs to be done in order to get calm.
- Facing the child after calming down
Calm thoughts will be clearer than when we are emotional, so face the child when emotions have subsided and you have calmed down. That way, the child will also feel your mood and not prolong the bad behavior. Also know about the differences in feelings and emotions in psychology .
Basically managing emotions is not the same as holding back. In other words, the importance of emotional management for mothers does not mean to hold back emotions and not express them, but rather to recognize and be honest about what you feel yourself. So, that way emotions can be expressed in a better way, so that the message of the emotions felt can be conveyed, and as far as possible emotional needs can be met. We will still feel the types of emotions such as anger, annoyance, sadness, happiness and so on, but will be able to express them in an appropriate and non-destructive way.