People have poor control over negative emotions. Anger seeks a way out. And finds one. A person seems to have said a simple phrase in a calm tone, and you get angry. Sound familiar? This is your reaction to hidden aggression.
The essence of such behavior of the opponent is in suppressing anger . Irritation is still there, but in a socially acceptable form. This is a conflict, albeit hidden. In this case, the interlocutor cannot answer on the merits and feels stupid.
1. “I’m not angry”
Instead of honestly admitting their feelings and explaining them, a person will claim that they are not angry at all. Although inside everything is seething, and this will be expressed in the attitude.
2. “As you say”
Sulking and avoiding a direct answer is a classic. The interlocutor does not explain what he does not like, does not provide arguments. He closes himself off and pretends to agree. Thus, the door to dialogue closes.
3. “Yes, I’m coming already!”
Try, for example, calling a child to clean the room, do homework or wash the dishes. How many times will you have to call him? And in what tone will he say “I’m coming” the tenth time? However, not only children do this, but also adults, if they do not want to do something.
4. “I didn’t know”
This is a favorite phrase of a procrastinator . If you ask him if he has completed the task, the excuse will be standard: “But I didn’t know that I had to do it now.” It becomes clear: the person does not like the request. But he does not say so, but prefers to postpone it. And this definitely angers him.
5. “You want everything to be perfect.”
When constant procrastination no longer works, a person finds another option – to blame the one who gave the task. A student did not have time to do his homework – the teacher is to blame, who assigned too much. An employee exceeded the project’s funds – the employer is to blame, who demands great results for such money.
6. “I thought you knew”
With this phrase, a person expresses hidden aggression, absolving himself of responsibility . Usually, petty mischief-makers or schemers do this. Not showing a letter, not telling about a call – all from this series. A conflict happened, and it turns out that you should have known about that annoying little thing that caused it. What, you didn’t know? And I thought you knew…
7. “Of course, I would be glad to help, but”
Meet the motto of service personnel, telephone operators and civil servants. They can smile at you as much as they want. The more you insist on urgency, the further the solution to the issue will be postponed. Up to the point that your papers may end up in the trash bin marked “Refuse”. Surely those people who have at least once applied for a visa or to the passport office will understand what I am talking about.
8. “You did everything so well for a person of your level.”
Such phrases can be classified as dubious compliments. It’s like saying something like: “Don’t worry, you’ll get married later. Some men like chubby girls.” Usually, such sayings concern age, education, and weight. They are said by those who want to offend or don’t think about your feelings . And they are not guilty of bribes, it’s actually a compliment!
9. “I was just kidding”
Sarcasm is another way to covertly express your aggression. You can say something nasty and then immediately backtrack: “Well, I was only joking!” Any harsh answer can easily be turned against again, saying that the interlocutor simply has no sense of humor. Don’t you understand jokes?
10. “Why are you so upset?”
After a ridiculous joke, your opponent may feign bewilderment and ask why you are so upset. In this way, he gets implicit pleasure from throwing you off balance again.
If you feel that they are trying to anger you with such phrases, do not react to them, this is a provocation. There is no need to feed the trolls.
