A couple of days ago I remembered something that often comes up during my coaching meetings in recent weeks: there is always a reason .
Sometimes I get emails asking me why people change for no reason , or make senseless gestures , absurd choices that then turn out to be harmful for them or those around them.
My answer?
there’s always a reason
Also consider the strangest, craziest, or most incomprehensible decision in the world.
Well, there is a reason for this too .
That you don’t understand it doesn’t mean it’s not there.
And the reasons for our actions, the choices we make, are always linked to emotions .
Based on what I feel, then I act, speak, choose, decide, behave in a certain way.
And behind every emotion there are thoughts, rules, schemes, priorities , in short, a complex world that is perhaps very different from ours , often for nuances but significant, and the real problem is not whether or not there is a reason, but that we have a vision of life different from others .
And so what seems meaningless to us is normal for them. And viceversa.
When I say that there is always a reason , Adriano Celentano immediately comes to mind .
Do you remember this song?
Here is the text, and the video.
If I laugh if I cry there will be a reason
if I think if I sing I feel more alive
if I win if I lose it re-enters the game
but in the end it is enough for me to think about it a little
If I look if I hear it is because I believe it
if I speak and listen it is because I see it
now if you think that I am satisfied
you have made a mistake I am not finished yet
If I cry louder it’s to make me hear
And then you know me, I don’t like to lie
If I’m still looking for the shortest way I
work at night, I have proof dates
And I walk I walk when the sun is near
and I grit my teeth when you don’t hear me
and I try to stay a little quieter
if life around me wants me to swing
And I walk I go towards tomorrow
I feel stronger if I hold your hands
and I try and or I invent, I twist my life
so that you don’t say this time it’s over.
If I think if I say there is always a reason why
sometimes I am estranged it is because I do not approve
and I look for words that give more meaning
wait a moment now I think about it
here they are there is always a reason
sometimes hidden sometimes intuitive it
depends on chance or it is already written
and now for example I don’t know if I’m waiting for you … and
I walk I walk when the sun is near
and I grit my teeth when you don’t hear me
and I try to stay a little quieter
if life around me wants me to swing
And I walk I go towards tomorrow
I feel stronger if I hold your hands
and I try and or I invent, I twist my life
so that you don’t say this time it’s over.
If I think and feel a little more nervous
it’s just a moment that tastes boring
then it passes then comes back I don’t know how to say
there is always a reason … to go back to understanding
Remember two very useful things from now on: our every action depends on what we feel and our emotions, after all, are the result of the rules we follow and believe to be right .
This applies to me, to you and to everyone else.
The point is that we often ignore what the rules others follow , assuming they have to share ours, and we don’t even know how they feel at a certain moment.
If you don’t know these two “information”, you will have a hard time understanding the reason for the choices of others.
But there is always a reason .
Remember that from today, and always aim to… understand !
But we are not finished, because the real reason for every human action is always due to two possible choices.
Only two.
What is behind every action, word, gesture and choice
Of course, we can have millions of reasons, but if we took them all we would discover that in the end they can always be traced back to 2 basic reasons: Love and Fear .
I want to show you a short film taken from a RAI film dedicated to Augustine of Hippo .
Sant’Agostino to be clear ?
The film lasts less than 2 minutes .
If you are silent, you are silent for love.
If you speak, you speak for love.
If you correct, correct out of love.
If you forgive, you forgive out of love.
May the root of love always be in you, because only from this root can good flow. Love and do what you want.
Love endures in adversity ,
in prosperity it moderates,
in suffering it is strong ,
in good works it is king,
in temptations it is sure ,
in hospitality generous ,
among true brothers it is happy,
among false it is patient .
It is the soul of the sacred books, it
is the virtue of prophecy, it
is the salvation of the mysteries, it
is the strength of science, it
is the fruit of faith , it
is the wealth of the poor, it
is the life of those who die.
Love is everything .
I don’t know for sure which of her writings the phrases you will hear are taken from, but I suppose the writers of the film didn’t invent them!
The final sentence I think perfectly encapsulates the Path we must take if we want to be happy and become stronger than any problem .
We can act for many reasons, but behind each being there will always be Fear or Love.
Whatever you do, do it for love .
Say no , for love. Say yes, for love.
Giving or denying, acting or waiting, moving or stopping, speaking or being silent, advising, supporting, criticizing, being strict or available, present or distant, all can be done out of love or fear .
Happiness does not depend on what you will do, but on the deep reason why you will do it. Love or Fear.
In the end there is nothing else .
It’s up to you to choose which path you prefer.
