What not to do after a separation or divorce!

Today I want to comment on what you shouldn’t do after a heartbreak. The whirlwind of emotions and feelings you experience when you separate is overwhelming, so the level of rationality you have is very low, often. Here are some tips to avoid behaviors that may only increase your suffering.

  1. Do not have any contact with the ex-partner. Avoid wanting to know what he or she is doing or not doing. Do not snoop on social media or to find out if you are on whatsapp or when was the last time you were online. And don’t even call or text. You are in the healing phase of your emotional wounds and it will not help you at all. If you have children, contact only what is strictly necessary. Distance is the best medicine right now.
  2. Don’t drown your sorrows in alcohol. Going out to be distracted with friends is a good thing, as long as you feel like it and are not too sad. Remember that looking for distractions at this stage may not be right. But deviating from reality, getting drunk and anesthetizing yourself can make you a lot worse the next day and lead you to addiction.
  3. Don’t expose your suffering on social media. No one needs to know what you are feeling or thinking. The best posture is to withdraw in this period. Trust close friends and family for confidences.
  4. Don’t want to get involved in a new relationship anytime soon. You are not prepared to have a new story yet. They say that one love heals the other. Is not true! Live your grief, be sad, angry, reorganize your life, set new goals and heal your emotional wounds before surrendering to new love.
  5. As much as you feel angry and feel like it, do not come up with any plan for revenge, as you will regret it. Things like tearing up his clothes or throwing everything away, scratching the car, ruining his favorite CDs, breaking everything, and other things that went through his head. The anger will pass, but the material and emotional damage will not. If you do something, it can be marked for the rest of your life. Even the pictures of the wedding or of you together, do not tear. Keep everything in a box and hide it or leave it at someone’s home. Then when the anger is over, you can see what to do. Your children may want to see these pictures in the future.
  6. Don’t speak ill of your children’s father or mother to them. Even in the whirlwind of emotions, hold the wave and hold on. Speak ill of him or her to friends, let it all out with them. You can harm your children, leaving them with a distorted image of the feminine or masculine that they need to have as models. Even if the real is really bad, let them understand and deal with it over time.

Focus on what is good, what is good for you and will help you get through this phase. Small actions or attitudes in everyday life that will make you feel better. Deal with your anger in other ways, such as physical exercises, talking to someone, or even writing a letter (in which you can vent and write whatever you want!). This whirlwind of emotions will pass and you will have nothing to regret later!


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