The judgment of others can be so conditioning that it takes away freedom from one’s choices and opinions. Not being too influenced by others helps you to live better.
We live in a world made up of relationships and bonds and inevitably we try to draw from them and those around us as much as possible, we seek comparison, reassurance, advice, but above all acceptance .
However, sometimes we let all of this greatly influence one’s way of thinking, of seeing things to the point of changing beliefs and behavior.
Asking for advice , or listening to what those who live next to you say is important, but it is good not to let this condition fully your life, to the point of dominating your being.
It is not always easy to escape from being influenced by others, however small steps can help reduce the risk and start ” walking on one’s own legs “.
Listen to your feelings
An important step to avoid being influenced is to learn to listen and accept your feelings . Too often, in fact, the effort of understanding and managing them leads to hiding them and letting others express judgments and judgments about home is right or wrong.
The truth, however, is to listen to your feelings, without being overwhelmed and overwhelmed, but by paying the right attention, you will be able to really understand what you want and what makes you feel good or, conversely, generates discomfort and annoyance.
The emotions and feelings play next to rationality an important role in his actions, so it is important to leave them room and listening and not allow fear the judgment of others , of making mistakes or disappoint any expectations, leading to hide them.
Only each of us can know what gives pleasure and what does not and continue to let the thought of others determine it, in the long run it can generate discomfort and suffering, or in any case certainly dissatisfaction and bitterness .
Listen, welcome, rationalize and let go
Obviously, the opinion, an advice, a word, a gesture, or whatever comes from the outside, whether requested or not, leaves a trace and puts what we can define ” the flea in the ear “.
Learning not to be influenced does not imply eliminating everything that comes from others, but listening to it, accepting it with a critical sense .
It is right to question one’s own ideas and those of others, pondering other alternatives, possibilities and realities. Questioning is an element of growth , it represents openness and the desire to improve.
But what must not happen is to accept everything that derives from others as something absolutely true and above all useful for oneself, without sifting it, analyzing it, fully understanding it and making it one’s own. Sometimes it happens to change your mind, it is not wrong, what matters is the motivation that must come from a conscious , reasoned choice and above all free from impositions and constraints. Only in this way what is derived from the other will have value, will be enriching and can be considered useful for itself.
Cast out the fear of judgment
Another step to add to learn not to be influenced too much by others is to banish the fear of others’ judgment. Many times the fear of disappointing expectations , of not being accepted or judged, leads to hiding one’s nature, but also one’s ideas, skills, competences, thoughts.
Self-esteem certainly plays an important role, but alongside this also the awareness of one’s ideas , abilities, values and experiences. Accept your own way of being, seeing limits as areas to be improved and opportunities for growth to become more aware and strong in your beliefs.
In order not to be influenced, one must also learn to express one’s point of view with confidence and assertiveness , without damaging the thoughts of others, but respecting it and bringing the reasons to support one’s own.
And even when the judgment of others should arrive, in a firm, chilling and sometimes painful way, it is good to stop, ask yourself how much truth there is in what others have said or done and understand if it is really necessary to question oneself or is it something that can be letting go, without being swayed.
In this certainly the relationship and the type of bond with those who express the judgment play a role, but it is always good to remember not to take everything as something absolutely true, but to remember what you are and how you want to be and act.
Not being influenced is not going straight on your own path without seeing and hearing anything or anyone, but welcoming, pondering, building and restoring balance, changing, growing but always maintaining firm points and full awareness of oneself and one’s way of being and feel.
