Do you know what is the intimate vote or secret vote?

Reflect on what would be the intimate vows we make throughout life

The great truth is that many of us have already experienced the reality of having made some kind of intimate vote or what many call a secret vote throughout our lives. If, therefore, the Son sets you free, you will be truly free (Jn 8,36).

The first important thing to know is what the reality of an intimate or secret vote is really about. Every vote is a type of commitment, an alliance, a pact that we establish in the face of a situation or even a person. Once this commitment, this alliance is established , we end up letting ourselves be influenced by them in some way.

Photo: Daniel Mafra /

In general, intimate vows are always related to traumatic events in our history or to situations of suffering we are experiencing. Because of these painful events, we have consciously or not made an alliance with that painful situation. These situations, in a way, left us with  inner marks , and, as time passed, it may even seem that we leave these traumas behind, that we forget them, but if they have not been resolved inwardly in us, we will not be able to be men and fully free women.

Memories of the past

We will live in the present time, but with a living, wounded and permanent past within us. A past that, when remembered, still brings us the same pain as the feelings and emotions of the time when we were hurt.

For us, who work with the reality of healing and deliverance prayer , we know that painful events, feelings and emotions are as real today in these people as they were in the past when they occurred. And that makes them, in a way, slaves to the past.

These unresolved pain situations are going to de-characterize us, hurting our real identity. It is in these moments that we establish intimate vows, which remain within our subconscious. Even stored there, they are alive.

When, for some reason, in our present moment, we experience some reality that is similar to the painful situation we lived in the past, it is as if we opened that drawer and experienced everything again, with the same intensity.

There are people who, as a child or teenager, for example, experienced, at home, the traumatic experience of seeing their father and mother’s marriage being destroyed by alcohol and violence. That teenager, seeing his mother being beaten by his father, said to himself: “I don’t believe in marriage! I don’t ever want to get married ! ”.

This was, in fact, an intimate vote, as the person experienced all the pain of his parents’ violence and that hurt him inwardly and was not resolved; there was a wound. It may happen that when that person grows up and starts to relate affectionately to another person, start dating, you can see that, up to a certain point in the relationship, everything is going well, but when the relationship becomes more serious and they start talking about a possible marriage, that person will not be able to go ahead with dating. You can even say that, for some reason, you stopped liking your girlfriend. In fact, what is happening inside her is that that situation of unresolved and saved pain, together with that intimate vow she made, saying that she “would never marry”, is coming out again. She opened the drawer of the painful situation that marked her, and now, unconsciously, she needs to fulfill her vow, the pact she made with herself. For that, she needs to end the courtship, otherwise, he will put her face to face with the marriage.

The problem is that there are several types of intimate vows that we are making and that can really influence our lives, but we don’t even realize that one thing is linked to another. We are creating intimate pacts and carrying them as a yoke in our life, as if we were committed to such an act!

Never say Never!

In a way, every intimate vote can have some kind of consequence, especially when it is linked to a situation of pain, hurt, sadness or disappointment. This can reflect more clearly in our life, for example, when we say:

“I will never love anyone again”
“I will never trust any man / woman”
“I will never be able to get pregnant”
“I will never be happy with that person”
“I will forever live this life of poverty”
“I will never be able to drive a car ! ”
“I’m not good for anything”
“I’m very stupid!”


Leave a Comment