Don’t worry. There is nothing more terrible in the world than ourselves, ”Tove Jansson wrote in her book about Moomin …
I still wonder how there can be thoughts in a children’s book that not even all adults are able to understand. After all, the Finnish writer is right: sometimes we have to defend ourselves not only from strangers and their actions – sometimes we have to fight ourselves in order to continue to live in peace … For this, our subconscious has come up with methods of psychological protection, which will be discussed later.
Repression is a universal way to get rid of internal conflict by actively displacing negative information or an unacceptable motive from consciousness. Something “impossible to live with”. Repression was discovered and described in detail by Sigmund Freud. A simple example: the psyche of a girl who experienced rape by a relative as a child supplants this information. The child does not understand what happened and why a loved one hurt her. These experiences are so traumatic for a child that in order to continue living peacefully, information about them is transferred deep into the subconscious. Sometimes the subconscious mind can give signals about what happened in the form of dreams, vague and stuffy memories …
“Why are you avoiding uncle?” – the mother asks her adult daughter, and she cannot understand why, in the presence of an aging relative, she begins to feel sick … As a rule, in order to “remember everything” and smooth over the psychological trauma, you need to seek help from a psychoanalyst or a psychotherapist.
German philosopher of the XIX century. Arthur Schopenhauer describes repression as follows: “We do not like to remember the unpleasant, especially if our vanity has suffered, which happens most often; there are very few such misfortunes for which we ourselves are absolutely not to blame; that’s why so many unpleasant things are forgotten. ”
Yes, people are supplanted by such personal qualities as greed, stupidity, shortsightedness, hostility to loved ones, love of power, their own complexes … Some facts of our personal life, in which we did not show our best side, are supplanted. Therefore, if someone tells you that you did something like that, and you don’t remember “anything like that”, think about it: maybe you simply “displaced” this annoying fact from your consciousness?
The man is talking to his ex-wife. From time to time rewarding her with compliments – “are you a complete fool?”, “S … ka”! The woman is slightly shocked, but does not respond to the offense. At the end of the conversation, the ex-husband adds: “How dare you talk to me so boorishly!” A curtain! .. A psychological defense mechanism called projection is involved here . Projection allows a person to perceive their own unacceptable desires, feelings, motives, ideas, actions – as someone else’s and, as a result, not feel responsible for them. The hero of the above-described dialogue feels aggression towards his ex-wife, tries to humiliate her, at least verbally, but at the same time considers himself a very kind and decent man, therefore he “ascribes” his boorish behavior to a woman, considering her to be a “boorish”, and not himself.
Substitution is a mechanism of psychological defense against an unpleasant situation, which is based on transferring a reaction from an inaccessible object to an accessible one or replacing an unacceptable action with an acceptable one. Substitution of an object occurs when a person is unable to cope with his negative emotions and takes out his anger on objects that have no special meaning for him. For example, children who are offended by their parents can break their toys. Or schoolchildren who are angry with their teacher may tear up notebooks or textbooks.
A typical situation, familiar to each of us, is that a subordinate falls under the hot hand of his superiors: “The report was not prepared on time. Loafer! Irresponsible person! ” Even if these words are unfounded, the subordinate cannot answer with the same coin. But over time, the necessary object is still found, where you can take out your resentment against your boss.
It can be a wife, a child, or a dog – usually a meek and silent object. “Slacker!”, “Fool!” – the father shouts at his child, giving him a slap on the head, instead of sitting down with the first grader at the table and helping him do his homework. Or angrily pushes a dog rushing to meet with joy. Or shouts to the wife who feeds the baby: “Lazy woman! I didn’t even clean it all day! ” Aggression not directed at the real culprit in a timely manner is transferred to someone who is even lower on the steps of the social hierarchy, to someone who is even weaker …
Sometimes this type of psychological defense can manifest itself in the emergence of new values. For example, some men pay more attention to their car than to their wife. A man carefully takes care of his vehicle, the car is given affectionate names, it seems to become an object of love.
Sometimes, during substitution, some feelings change for the opposite with the same object. So, it is not for nothing that the people say that “from love to hate – one step.”
You know, sometimes when everything is good I get terribly bored (Tove Jansson)
There is a very useful type of psychological defense called sublimation . This is the transition of a person’s sexual energy, his internal conflicts, unmet needs into creative activity.
Freud believed that in the process of his activities homo sapiens is guided by the principle of pleasure. If you simply give up sexual desires and pleasures, then a person will not get sick for long. Therefore, our psyche “translates” passion into more acceptable types of activity – creativity or science. According to Freud, sublimation is the source of artistic creativity, research interest and scientific knowledge.
Perhaps you yourself have already noticed that many people, when they suffer defeat in love – they divorce or lose their partner – actively climb the career ladder. Unrealized passion pushes them to action. But as soon as their personal life is getting better, “calm” begins at work.
The famous American TV presenter Oprah Winfrey describes sublimation as follows: “Passion is energy! Feel the power that flows into you from focusing on what excites you. Passion comes when you do what you love. When you feel passionate, you can work continuously. Passion is strength, it is the fuel you need to succeed. Find your passion and devote your life to realizing it, and it really doesn’t matter how long it takes. ”
Often a person can use only a part of the information that he perceives, and on the basis of this draws conclusions – this type of psychological defense is called rationalization. With the help of rationalization, a person creates his own reality, establishes harmony between the desired and the real state of affairs.
Most of our readers remember the fable about the fox and the grapes, in which the Fox could not get the grapes, so she said that the grapes are green. This is a typical example of rationalization. What we cannot reach is declared bad.
Eugene is a handsome young man from a good and wealthy family. As a student, he organized several Internet clubs and after a few years bought himself an apartment and a car. In addition, he played sports and was one of the top university students. Therefore, the girls were drying up behind him. And Eugene liked Nadezhda – a beautiful and intelligent girl who came to the capital from a deep province. Eugene showed attention to the girl, but she did not seem to notice him. Finally, the young man directly told Nadezhda about his sympathy and offered to meet. The girl replied that it was very nice, and … refused. The young man did not even think that someone could say “no” to him, and was unpleasantly amazed by this. A few days later, Eugene was sitting with his friend in a cafe. Nadezhda came here with her fellow students. Zhenya’s friend held the girl with a dreamy look and said: “What a good girl after all!” To which Eugene replied: “Nadia? Look for such an unattractive girl. Yes, and she is a redneck … “And quietly added:” What a happiness that she did not take my words seriously! ”
Another example of rationalization. A man wants to leave his bride, with whom he has lived for many years, on the eve of the wedding. But his moral principles do not allow leaving a woman “just like that”, so he rationally explains his act, trying to look noble at the same time: “Darling, you are so wonderful, sensitive, gentle, kind, I just do not deserve your love. I hope you find someone better. ”
Transference (synonym: transfer) is a defense mechanism that consists in the unconscious transfer of feelings and relationships experienced earlier (most likely in childhood) that manifested themselves to one person, to another person. Sigmund Freud considered this phenomenon to be very important for understanding the patient (client) in the process of psychoanalysis.
Vladimir worked in the office for several years. Suddenly, their boss was replaced. Now the leader is a middle-aged woman, smart, well-groomed. And Vladimir immediately began conflicts with the new leadership, although he had never been a brawler before. It seemed to the man that the leader underestimated him, was very picky, and so on … Once, when Vladimir raised his voice to Olga Petrovna in the presence of everyone, she invited him into the office for a private conversation. “I don’t know what’s happening to you, Vladimir, but I recommend contacting a psychotherapist. If this situation continues, then one of us will have to leave this team. ”
Vladimir decided to consult a specialist. During a conversation with a psychotherapist, I suddenly remembered that in kindergarten he had a very angry older teacher who humiliated and did not like children. And … the current leader subconsciously reminded the young man of the unhappy days spent in kindergarten. Therefore, Vladimir’s inadequate reaction was the result of the transfer of his negative emotions from the teacher to Olga Petrovna. In the course of therapy, the young man was able to comprehend his emotions and understand his actions, then he was able to align his relationship with the leader. Fortunately, his leader was a wise woman, so she gave him time to change.
Why do we need this psychological protection? The fact is that if the laws of psychological defense do not work, then pathological mechanisms come into play, and the person begins either a neurotic disease, or depression or “flight into illness.”
So, try to better understand and analyze the true motives of your actions and other people. Then, perhaps, you can change or even improve something in yourself.
