Flattery

Flattery has always been and remains one of the most effective tools for influencing people. It is used everywhere – at work, in business, in the family, when communicating with friends. Because many people like to be praised, no matter how sincere and well-earned that praise is. Moreover, in some situations, the most effective flattery is rather crude and obvious flattery, which pleasantly fills the soul of people and immerses them in the world of dreams. Despite this, people, as a rule, do not like to admit that flattery affects them, that they succumb to it and become its victim. It is understandable, no one wants to feel weak, and craving for flattery is just the manifestation of weakness. Flattery is pleasing often completely insincere and even hypocritical praise of someone in order to please him and gain his favor. It is one of the most common ways to manipulate people. In this article, dear friends, we will talk about why many people succumb to flattery, how to recognize it, how to react to it competently and how to use flattery for your own purposes.

So, first of all, let’s find out why people succumb to flattery. It is important to pay attention to both one’s own feelings and the behavior of other people in order to explain a person’s need for flattery. You probably know that people want to think well of themselves, and, in fact, if they have everything in order with self-esteem, they think exactly that. And, of course, they want others to think about them even better. Therefore, they love when they are praised, when some of their qualities are extolled, when they are distinguished from the rest. This gives them confidence, improves their self-esteem, inspires, soothes, helps to cope with a depressed mood and so on. Thus, when we flatter a person, we, in fact, tell him what he thinks about himself or wants to think. And he wants to think so because it is important for him to be meaningful. And to be significant means to be valued by people and to be in demand by them, which in turn allows a person to count on his acceptance by society and the help of other people. That is, everything ultimately rests on the main task of man – survival. And a person can survive in this world only with the help of other people, so it is important for him that people think about him well. Flattery is a confirmation that people are satisfied and that he is an important figure in society.

In general, when we talk about the influence of flattery on people, we need to understand where it comes from, flattery, draws its strength. And her strength is not that people love to be praised, but in the people themselves, or rather, in their lives. We live in a world that is not always friendly to us. Many of us live surrounded by such people who have absolutely nothing to do with us and a kind word for them will not come from them. But recognition of other people is very important for a sense of social belonging. But imagine a situation in which you have been praised since childhood, telling you that you are the best. Imagine that whatever you do, everyone is happy with you, everyone is delighted with you, everyone admires you. I understand that it is difficult to imagine, since in the life of most of us everything happens quite the opposite – we are more criticized, criticized or completely ignored. But still, try to imagine it. Now ask yourself a question – when will you get tired of it, when will you lose interest in those people who constantly praise you for everything? It is obvious that sooner or later you will get tired of it and you will no longer perceive other people’s praise as something valuable. The reason is an excess of this very praise, an excess of human attention, an excess of positive emotions, an excess of admiration from people. That is, a way of life in which you feel like a navel of the earth will make you practically, if not completely, indifferent to flattery. That which is a lot in our life – is not appreciated and not noticed by us – we are indifferent to this. But, at the same time, one should not forget that people get used to flattery, therefore, even if there is a lot of it in their life, they do not cease to appreciate it. They just start to consider her the norm. Now ask yourself a question – when will you get tired of it, when will you lose interest in those people who constantly praise you for everything? It is obvious that sooner or later you will get tired of it and you will no longer perceive other people’s praise as something valuable. The reason is an excess of this very praise, an excess of human attention, an excess of positive emotions, an excess of admiration from people. That is, a way of life in which you feel like a navel of the earth will make you practically, if not completely, indifferent to flattery. That which is a lot in our life – is not appreciated and not noticed by us – we are indifferent to this. But, at the same time, one should not forget that people get used to flattery, therefore, even if there is a lot of it in their life, they do not cease to appreciate it. They just start to consider her the norm. Now ask yourself a question – when will you get tired of it, when will you lose interest in those people who constantly praise you for everything? It is obvious that sooner or later you will get tired of it and you will no longer perceive other people’s praise as something valuable. The reason is an excess of this very praise, an excess of human attention, an excess of positive emotions, an excess of admiration from people. That is, a way of life in which you feel like a navel of the earth will make you practically, if not completely, indifferent to flattery. That which is a lot in our life – is not appreciated and not noticed by us – we are indifferent to this. But, at the same time, one should not forget that people get used to flattery, therefore, even if there is a lot of it in their life, they do not cease to appreciate it. They just start to consider her the norm. when will you lose interest in those people who constantly praise you for everything? It is obvious that sooner or later you will get tired of it and you will no longer perceive other people’s praise as something valuable. The reason is an excess of this very praise, an excess of human attention, an excess of positive emotions, an excess of admiration from people. That is, a way of life in which you feel like a navel of the earth will make you practically, if not completely, indifferent to flattery. That which is a lot in our life – is not appreciated and not noticed by us – we are indifferent to this. But, at the same time, one should not forget that people get used to flattery, therefore, even if there is a lot of it in their life, they do not cease to appreciate it. They just start to consider her the norm. when will you lose interest in those people who constantly praise you for everything? It is obvious that sooner or later you will get tired of it and you will no longer perceive other people’s praise as something valuable. The reason is an excess of this very praise, an excess of human attention, an excess of positive emotions, an excess of admiration from people. That is, a way of life in which you feel like a navel of the earth will make you practically, if not completely, indifferent to flattery. That which is a lot in our life – is not appreciated and not noticed by us – we are indifferent to this. But, at the same time, one should not forget that people get used to flattery, therefore, even if there is a lot of it in their life, they do not cease to appreciate it. They just start to consider her the norm. that sooner or later you will get tired of it and you will no longer perceive other people’s praise as something valuable. The reason is an excess of this very praise, an excess of human attention, an excess of positive emotions, an excess of admiration from people. That is, a way of life in which you feel like a navel of the earth will make you practically, if not completely, indifferent to flattery. That which is a lot in our life – is not appreciated and not noticed by us – we are indifferent to this. But, at the same time, one should not forget that people get used to flattery, therefore, even if there is a lot of it in their life, they do not cease to appreciate it. They just start to consider her the norm. that sooner or later you will get tired of it and you will no longer perceive other people’s praise as something valuable. The reason is an excess of this very praise, an excess of human attention, an excess of positive emotions, an excess of admiration from people. That is, a way of life in which you feel like a navel of the earth will make you practically, if not completely, indifferent to flattery. That which is a lot in our life – is not appreciated and not noticed by us – we are indifferent to this. But, at the same time, one should not forget that people get used to flattery, therefore, even if there is a lot of it in their life, they do not cease to appreciate it. They just start to consider her the norm. in which you feel like the navel of the earth – will make you practically, if not completely, indifferent to flattery. That which is a lot in our life – is not appreciated and not noticed by us – we are indifferent to this. But, at the same time, one should not forget that people get used to flattery, therefore, even if there is a lot of it in their life, they do not cease to appreciate it. They just start to consider her the norm. in which you feel like the navel of the earth – will make you practically, if not completely, indifferent to flattery. That which is a lot in our life – is not appreciated and not noticed by us – we are indifferent to this. But, at the same time, one should not forget that people get used to flattery, therefore, even if there is a lot of it in their life, they do not cease to appreciate it. They just start to consider her the norm.

Guess now, what is the power of flattery? The fact that a person lacks attention, praise, respect, recognition, love, admiration from other people. Therefore, when someone begins to flatter such a person, then for him this flattery is worth its weight in gold – he perceives it as a sip of cool water in a hot desert. We value that which is little in our lives and that we need. Therefore, good flatterers simply give people what they need. But there is another side to this issue – those people who have very high opinions about themselves and love that they all obey and obey them are also flattering. For them, flattery is not something scarce – for them it is the norm and a manifestation of humility on the part of other people. Therefore, they only surround themselves with flatterers, without enduring those who reread them in something and reproach them for something. In this case, vanity makes flattery not just sweet for a conceited person, but the only true form of communication between other people with him. After all, in our society there are people with a certain power and authority who want to live and live in their own worlds, and in these worlds they do not want to see anything bad, nothing that contradicts their beliefs. Moreover, they do not want to see their weaknesses, weaknesses and mistakes. Therefore, they remove from themselves all who can somehow violate their comfort with their disagreement and bring closer to themselves those who are ready to tell them every day about their greatness, beauty, strength, outstanding mind and the like. Of course, there are a lot of shortcomings in such a life – it at least relaxes a person and makes him inadequate. But while the pleasure lasts, many people simply don’t think about it.

Thus, on the one hand, those who are not self-confident enough and who lack human attention, love, respect and recognition are susceptible to flattery, and on the other hand, those people who have all this and not so much love flattery they even need flattery, just how much they’ve got used to it and consider it the only right way for other people to communicate with them. So the range of opportunities for flattery, as a way of manipulating people, is quite large – with its help you can influence different people with varying degrees of success.

Now let’s talk about how to recognize flattery and how to correctly respond to it. Here you need to pay attention first of all to how you generally relate to any praise addressed to you. It doesn’t matter why you are praised and who praises you – if you really like praise, then you are not protected from flattery. You will be flattered, and you will melt, thereby allowing people to control themselves. And to recognize flattery is not so difficult – if you are praised and extolled, then it always says something. The only question is what exactly. People may be pleased that you have already done something for them, or they may want to get some action from you. Look for the reason other people speak well of you. Just because no one praises anyone. And it’s not even so important whether there is a reason for someone to praise you or not – you should always look for a reason, by which people tell you something good. You need to understand their motivation. Do not forget that of all the poisons, it is flattery that produces the greatest dizziness. Therefore, if you have a need for praise, for recognition, for admiration from people – be more attentive to those who give you all this. After all, even a well-founded, well-deserved praise can allow other people to pave the path to your heart. And who knows what the ultimate goal is for a person, telling you what you want to hear. On the one hand, it’s certainly not bad when you are praised. Thanks to the praise of others, you receive confirmation of the correctness of your actions in the eyes of other people. It inspires confidence in you and inspires future achievements. But on the other hand, I repeat once again, you always need to think about

It is also important to pay attention to who praises you. This may explain the reason for the praise. In the words of August Bebel: “If the enemy praises you, think what nonsense you have committed.” There really is something to think about. If you are praised by people whom you cannot call your friends and who have not received any benefit from your affairs, then most likely they simply back up your wrong behavior and your mistakes with their praise. Well, if you are praised by a person who depends on you for something, you can be sure that he needs something from you. Flattery always has its own grain from which it grows. Look for this seed, and even if flattery turns out to be not so much flattery as a well-deserved praise, then it can still be an attempt by people to influence you in a certain way and induce you to take some actions they need.

As for how to respond to flattery, there are two most suitable options. You can stay absolutely calm, pretending that flattery didn’t make an impression on you, or you can play along with the flatterer so that he goes further and reveals his cards. I believe that any trick is best answered with a trick. It is not necessary to expose the flatterer, it doesn’t make much sense, and it’s completely stupid to show aggression against him – why show a person that you see his attempts to manipulate you, it will make him shut himself out and it will be more difficult for you to find out about his intentions. It is much better to ignore the flatterer or play with him – defiantly succumbing to his flattery and, if necessary, flattering in response. Let the person show what he is seeking from you, then you can already choose the right model of behavior for you with him. If you see obvious, gross flattery – flatter in return. Mirror a person – let him receive in return what he sent to you. It makes no sense to blame the flatterer for something if he acts too explicitly. He is like a worthless thief, trying to pick up the key to your soul, although you all see perfectly.

And finally, let’s find out how we ourselves use the flattery for our own purposes. Nevertheless, it is a rather powerful tool for influencing a person. The first thing you need to decide is what exactly you want to achieve with flattery. The fact is that flattering everyone in order to just like people is not a very good thing. Many of us, though fond of flattery, love to pour honey into their ears, but flatterers often cause us distrust. We know that the sly fox has certain plans for us and therefore we are worried. In addition, your flattery in certain situations may just be inappropriate. Some people even know how wonderful they are without you, while others may not be interested in your flattery, because you are not interested in them. And for someone, your flattery can cause aggression, because people have already encountered flatterers before and cannot stand them because of negative experiences. So inappropriate flattery can leave a very bad impression on you. After all, your attempt to flatter someone, in essence, means that you want to manipulate a person, and not everyone likes it. Flattery must be appropriate first and foremost, for this you need to observe the person you want to flatter, and even better to talk with him to understand how he generally responds to praise. If he treats praise well and even very well, then he will react even better to flattery. Thus, you need to go from afar, wanting to flatter someone in order to do jewelry work in this direction and not cause unnecessary suspicions. So inappropriate flattery can leave a very bad impression on you. After all, your attempt to flatter someone, in essence, means that you want to manipulate a person, and not everyone likes it. Flattery must be appropriate first and foremost, for this you need to observe the person you want to flatter, and even better to talk with him to understand how he generally responds to praise. If he treats praise well and even very well, then he will react even better to flattery. Thus, you need to go from afar, wanting to flatter someone in order to do jewelry work in this direction and not cause unnecessary suspicions. So inappropriate flattery can leave a very bad impression on you. After all, your attempt to flatter someone, in essence, means that you want to manipulate a person, and not everyone likes it. Flattery must be appropriate first and foremost, for this you need to observe the person you want to flatter, and even better to talk with him to understand how he generally responds to praise. If he treats praise well and even very well, then he will react even better to flattery. Thus, you need to go from afar, wanting to flatter someone in order to do jewelry work in this direction and not cause unnecessary suspicions. whom you want to flatter, or better yet, talk to him to understand how he generally responds to praise. If he treats praise well and even very well, then he will react even better to flattery. Thus, you need to go from afar, wanting to flatter someone in order to do jewelry work in this direction and not cause unnecessary suspicions. whom you want to flatter, or better yet, talk to him to understand how he generally responds to praise. If he treats praise well and even very well, then he will react even better to flattery. Thus, you need to go from afar, wanting to flatter someone in order to do jewelry work in this direction and not cause unnecessary suspicions.

Although, you know, friends, though I warn you that flattery is not always appropriate and that it should be used carefully, in reality, in most cases, of which I was a direct or indirect witness, people treat it either normally, either good or even very good. Yes, some of us do not trust flatterers, but we do not get rid of them and do not hate them, that is what is important. And some people do, and only surround themselves with them. Everyone knows that flattery is in many cases sneaky and licking, but many like it. People can tell you that flattery doesn’t work on them, but they will be very nice to flatterers. Therefore, flattery is a kind of career ladder. In virtually any hierarchical system, for successful career growth, people have to flatter their superiors. Nobody needs honesty and openness – bosses love to be obeyed, obeyed, served faithfully and agreed on everything. And even when they are wrong in something – they do not want to know about it. Well, as a rule. There are exceptions. After all, you and I must understand that those people who rose from the bottom and gained a certain power, opportunity, authority – went through all the circles of hell – they have suffered so much, serving their superiors, gnawing and shedding their way up, which turned out to be at a certain level of the social pyramid, they need to compensate for the psychological harm that they have suffered during all this time. Therefore, they need those who will fawn in front of them in the same way as they once fawn before their superiors. That’s why flattery is a subtle art that opens any doors to a person, but not many own it. She, I repeat, is one of the most important methods of manipulation.

If we talk about how to flatter properly in order to please people [or a specific person] and to obtain certain privileges from them, then this is not so difficult if flattery is applied to most ordinary people. It is important to find in the person whom you want to flatter, something that he himself loves and appreciates, and starting from this to choose suitable words of praise for him. As Dale Carnegie wrote: flattering means telling a person exactly what he thinks of himself. And I add to this that it is also useful to tell a person what he would like to think about himself. That is, if you know a person well, if you know what he would like to be, what qualities he wants to have, what he strives to be the best in, then it will be useful to help him to see in himself just such a person, praising him for the corresponding virtues. And sometimes you can even praise a person for something that he never thought of, but that he will definitely like it. To do this, you need to know him even better. You can praise [flatter] in different ways – you can immediately vigorously express your admiration for some person’s merits, some of his deeds, successes, to instantly charm him, but you can do it gradually, showing him that the more you learn about him , the more you admire him. In some situations, when, for example, you want to flatter the boss-tyrant, you can praise any qualities in him, if only he would feel like a god next to you. And in addition to this, one must agree with him in everything, support him in everything and admire his every decision and action. The more evil a person is, the more willingly he believes in any nonsense about himself if he likes this nonsense. Some people tend to in something flawed and not very smart, it’s not the flattery that bribes, but the fact that they are considered worthy of flattery. These people are easy to figure out by paying attention to their surroundings. If they are surrounded only by toadies and pleasures, then you can safely use even the most rude and undisguised flattery against them – they will take it with pleasure.

And yet, most often people flatter someone, starting from the real merits of this person. That is, they do not attribute to him such virtues that do not exist, but simply exaggerate the existing ones so that flattery is not so obvious and gross. I advise you to be original in this matter. Try to flatter people as others do not flatter them to stand out from the crowd. Be an exceptional flatterer, praising in a person such virtues that others do not see. Then he will like you more than the rest. This is especially true in cases where a person, for example, a large boss, many flatter to smear him. You can beat your competitors in this game, thanks to the originality of your flattery.

And finally, I’ll add that, so that people do not talk about flattery, no matter how they use it against each other, we still have to admit that often it makes our life more beautiful, helping us to please each other. Therefore, people often use it not only in manipulations, but also in everyday communication, in order to win over nice people and feel very comfortable in their company.