The term childhood emotional maltreatment (IE) refers to conditions of “neglect” and abuse suffered at an early age with an extreme denial of childhood needs.
This condition can be shared by subjects belonging to the “non-clinical” population and, contrary to what one might commonly think, it is not a condition limited to the childhood experiences of patients with overt psychopathology.
Undoubtedly there is a large literature on the role of EMF in the development of psychopathologies of all kinds and also the DSM – 5 has recognized the role of early traumatic experiences in the etiopathogenesis of many mental disorders.
On the other hand, there are very few data on the weight of childhood emotional abuse on other aspects, even non-psychopathological ones, of the individual’s interpersonal functioning, such as the quality of sentimental relationships in adulthood. In fact, there is no doubt that early experiences constitute a fundamental element for achieving an internal representation of oneself as worthy of love, an element in turn necessary for the construction of a stable self-esteem, an adequate development of sexuality and interpersonal skills. healthy.
It is quite understandable how all these elements affect the possibility of building satisfying romantic relationships in adulthood.
However, to examine in depth the relationship between child abuse and the quality of future intimate relationships we must necessarily consider other variables historically associated with these two constructs: self-criticism and attachment style.
The term self-criticism refers to a personality variable characterized by the stable and disabling tendency to criticize and judge oneself negatively whenever high standards of various kinds are not met (e.g. performance, ethics, etc.) that we have self-imposed.
Many studies have identified an association between CEM and self-criticism: it is easy to understand how an individual, emotionally neglected in childhood, internalizes the idea of not deserving love and supposed and, attributing this feeling to his “not going well”, generates an attitude constantly critical of himself.
In turn, the literature data indicate how much this hypercritical attitude is correlated with a greater probability of developing intimate relationships characterized by ambivalence, mistrust and fear of emotional closeness (just as an effect of the tendency to be critical also towards the partner and fear of can be judged by the other).
By style of attachment in adulthood we refer to the pattern of attitudes, experiences and behaviors with which we present ourselves in the couple relationship; as a direct effect of the quality of the primary attachment relationships with parental figures. In particular, adult avoidant attachment patterns are characterized by low intimacy and depreciation of intimate relationships while ambivalent adult attachments are associated with dependence and a high need for attention on the part of the partner.
The extensive literature existing on the link between attachment styles and relationship quality has rarely considered the construct of self-criticism within an integrated multi-variable model. Only Sibley and Overall (2008,2010) proposed a mediational model in which the effect of self-criticism seemed to influence the intimate relationship through the inclusion of an additional variable constituted by the avoidant attachment style (but not by the anxious / worried one! ).
Recently, a group of British researchers (Lassri, Luyten, Cohen and Shahar, 2016) investigated, in a sample of non-clinical subjects, the relationship between childhood emotional abuse and the quality of romantic relationships, considering the weight of self-criticism and attachment as mediating variables.
The results of the research fully confirmed the hypothesis that the negative association (therefore proportionally inverse) between the degree of maltreatment suffered and the good quality of intimate relationships as adults was significantly mediated by the two variables considered: self-criticism and avoidant attachment.
In summary, early experiences of emotional deprivation lead the individual to internalize a critical attitude towards himself (plausibly for self-defense mechanisms of a self-accusatory type) and to develop both low-confidence attitudes towards others and an escape from intimacy. in relationships (typical of the avoidant attachment style).
It follows that emotional detachment, over-investment in autonomy and the vision of the other as unreliable inevitably compromise the ability to create and maintain satisfactory and solid relationships.
