“Riccardo was a bully. He had always been one since he was a child, since elementary school, when he would arrogantly steal snacks from us girls and tear the pants off the “weaker” boys, who he would then mock in front of everyone once they saw his underwear and no one dared to say anything because he instilled fear. Riccardo was unbearable and the memory of him is still that today….”.
“Bullying is an aggressive act that offends and seriously damages a person’s physical and psychological health and for this reason it must be prevented and the consequences on those who suffer it and in many cases also on those who practice it must be treated”.
What is bullying?
Bullying is the aggression of a victim perceived as weaker by an aggressor.
Bullying is first and foremost an unjust act.
Reading the story above, two things strike me:
- 1) The figure of the bully who arrogantly dominates and offends his peers, humiliating and mocking them without shame.
- 2) The feeling of injustice that is perceived by the victim and that the narrator notes after many years as something that still conditions her existence.
…Let’s learn more about bullying…
#Bullying is a reprehensible behavior that consists of the threat and/or physical and verbal aggression of a person or group of people (the aggressor) towards someone else (the victim).
Bullying is a reprehensible act of unjustified physical and psychological violence.
Bullying consists of acts of unjustified violence. But be careful! Not that violence is justified except in cases of self-defense, however what characterizes the bully is the unjust and unjustified use of physical and verbal violence towards someone with the specific intent of mortifying the person, humiliating their character, ruining their serenity and physical and psychological integrity.
Who is the Bully?
“Me smart, you idiot.”
The bully perceives the victim as weaker
The logic of the bully is surreal and also unjustified, simple and yet very harmful and consists in this: “I am stronger than you and I will prove it to you with violence”.
What are the most common acts of bullying?
- These are acts of bullying:
- 1)Insults and offences
- 2)mockery, sneers and slander
- 3) Defamatory rumors and false accusations
- 4)Racism
- 5)Unmotivated criticism and excessive control
- 6)Petty thefts
- 7) Extortion
- 8)Threats
- 9) Private violence
- 10)Aggression and violent games
- 11)Personal injuries
- 12) Exclusion from the game
- 13)Beatings
- 14)Damage to other people’s property.
NB: A separate discussion but no less important today concerns cyberbullying or all verbal aggression carried out online and via the web. And I will talk about this in the next article.
Bullying causes sometimes irreversible damage to the victim
…in fact, this harassing , threatening and very aggressive behavior is carried out with the sole intention of #humiliating, ridiculing, #offending, #distancing, #mocking or even #annihilating someone.
What harm does bullying cause?
Research shows that those who have suffered or suffer acts of bullying, even in isolated cases, suffer real and irreversible damage to their physical and psychological health.
- I. Psychological damage:
Those who suffer bullying develop strong emotional disturbances that lead to various types of dysfunctional syndromes such as:
- States of anxiety
- Panic attacks
- Depression
- Phobias of various kinds
- Insomnia
- II. Damage to health
Persistent threats and aggression cause:
- Physical injuries of various nature and severity
- Psychosomatic disorders:
- -heachache
- -stomach ache
- -lack of appetite
- -sexual and psychological impotence and more.
- Appearance of real chronic diseases.
- III. Existential damages
Victims of bullying suffer damage to their existence and quality of life, as demonstrated, for example:
- Loneliness
- Loss of bonds and emotional relationships
- Damage to image and reputation.
- Develops a tendency to use drugs, alcohol and narcotic substances
…Furthermore, bullying triggers self-harming mechanisms of no small importance in the victim.
The psychological paradox caused by bullying consists in triggering self-destructive thoughts such as: “I, the victim, deserve the beatings and humiliations”
In practice, what happens is that the victim, once isolated from the group, begins to believe that he or she deserves the violence and aggression, and begins to feel like the wrong person among so many righteous people.
For this reason, a psychological spiral is triggered from which he is unable to escape and which instead makes him increasingly weak, isolated and suffering.
“This is why the victim of the bully must be helped in every way, since the risks of further damage to psychological integrity are enormous.
What to do to help victims of bullying?
There are many actions to take. In this article I will point out the one that in my opinion is the first and perhaps most important, that is, helping the victim to escape from the isolation generated by the harassment .
Coming out of isolation is the first important step in helping victims of bullying.
The victim of bullying, coming out of isolation, has the opportunity to:
- Øto be emotionally supported
- Øto be understood in his pain
- Øto be helped to overcome humiliations
- ØRe-affirm your value without feeling ridiculed and wrong
- Øhave the possibility of being reintegrated on a relational level
