There are situations when you need to maintain a conversation with a person you are seeing for the first time. Not only do you have to somehow start the conversation, but you also have to continue it somehow. It is even worse if you have to conduct a dialogue with an interlocutor who is absolutely not interesting to you. What to do when the conversation, to put it mildly, does not go well?
What I see is what I sing about
Look around. What surrounds you at this moment? Any phrase can become a stick that kindles the fire of conversation: about the design of the room you are in, about what is happening outside the window, or even the question “what is the password for wi-fi”.
Classic example: “The weather is beautiful today, isn’t it?” The main thing is to be positive and never complain. When you meet someone for the first time, it is not the best time to express any negativity.
Finding common interests
Being aware of what’s happening in the world means being able to hold a conversation with anyone. Before a meeting, it wouldn’t hurt to look through the daily or last week’s news reports.
They will become a real “lifeline” of your conversation. If suddenly an awkward pause occurs, you can choose some event and ask the interlocutor’s opinion about it. In extreme cases, tell the details and enlighten the person about what is happening in the world.
The right questions are the right answers
You need to try to ask questions that will elicit broad answers. Options such as “what are your hobbies” or “what do you do in life” will work.
Such questions help a person to focus on one object. It can be home, work, family, hobby. The interlocutor feels more relaxed, talking about familiar and close topics.
The language will take you to Kyiv
Asking questions that cannot be answered with a simple “yes” or “no” gives you an additional advantage. All that is required is to listen carefully to the interlocutor. Because based on the answer received, you can formulate new leading questions.
18 Jun 2012 — Architect presenting plans on whiteboard. — Image by © Hero/Corbis
Initiative is not punishable
If the “partisan” continues to stubbornly remain silent, it’s time to show your own initiative. We start bombarding the interlocutor with questions to find out as much information about him as possible: about his hobbies, interests, worldview, habits.
It is no secret that each of us loves to amuse our ego, so we are unlikely to refuse to talk about ourselves once again. Here are some good questions: “What books do you read?”, “What are your most visited Internet resources?”, “What are your hobbies?” They will help you learn a lot about a person and bring the conversation out of the pit of silence.
Let’s play with facial expressions
Listen to your interlocutor and “play along” with him. If he tries to joke, even if it’s not funny, at least smile. You don’t have to show crazy delight if you don’t care who won Chelsea or Spartak, but raising your eyebrows a little is not that difficult.
However, there is a flip side to this coin. There are some comrades who, as soon as you start listening to them attentively, abruptly change the topic of conversation or fall silent altogether . Thus, an awkward pause may occur again.
What do you do when all your efforts to keep the conversation going fail?
So it wasn’t meant to be. You can relax and calmly state this fact with a phrase like: “Let’s be honest: the conversation isn’t going well today.” Of course, this is an extreme measure. But it might work!
