Our whole life is a series of negotiations. It doesn’t matter what we do: buy a car or choose where to study, hire new employees or decide what movie to watch in the evening. Any life situation becomes a reason for negotiations. Our ability to negotiate is inextricably linked with our ability to make decisions. And this is the basis for a successful life.
1. Learn to listen
The ability to listen to the interlocutor is often underestimated. But it is thanks to this that you can learn a lot about the goals, desires and fears of a person.
During your next negotiation, don’t try to come up with your own answer while your interlocutor is speaking, but listen carefully. Pay attention not only to the words, but also to the intonation, gestures and facial expressions.
2. Develop emotional intelligence
We usually make decisions based on our fears, selfishness, or greed. Emotional intelligence is the ability to recognize your feelings and the feelings of others. During negotiations, it will help you curb your emotions and approach the problem rationally, as well as manage the feelings of others.
Be smart about your feelings. When negotiating, try to stay collected and calm, even if everyone else is nervous and angry.
Remember: negotiations are a constructive dialogue between two parties seeking an agreement. Anger and irritation are signs of weakness and unprofessionalism. Attacking the other side will only lead to your interlocutor closing down and becoming defensive. And your emotions will be used against you.
3. Strive for mutual benefit
Help people get what they want and you will get what you want.
For example, a car dealer needs to sell a certain number of cars and pay bills. And you want to buy a car at a good price. When negotiating, think not only about the price you are willing to pay, but also try to help the seller. As a result, everyone will benefit.
4. Be curious
This is another underrated skill. Don’t be afraid to ask questions, let the other side talk. This will reduce the chances of you screwing up.
We often feel uncomfortable asking a lot of questions, but it is a very important part of effective negotiations. Try to show curiosity and genuine interest in people next time. For example, ask questions like:
- Why is this important to you?
- Could you explain what you mean?
- How do you feel about…?
5. Speak clearly
It is very important to know what to say and how to say it. So collect your thoughts before you start speaking. Don’t speak too fast, you are not Eminem. If you speak clearly and without haste, you will give the impression of a confident person .
Also, try to get rid of filler words and phrases like “Honestly”, “Sorry to ask, but…”, “I’m very sorry, but…”, “Unfortunately”.
6. Take breaks
Use pauses to emphasize a particular sentence or question.
This strategy also works when someone is trying to force you into a deal that is not good for you. So give your answer and take a break. The situation may become very awkward, but try not to lose your composure. Do not show that you are nervous.
For example, Ramit Sethi, a personal finance expert, suggests responding to a bad offer from a hiring manager this way: “I appreciate the offer. I understand that each employee is considered an investment for the company and that you decide how much to invest in each employee. Therefore, given my experience and the contribution I can make to the company, I feel compelled to ask for a raise. I am confident that I can fully recoup your investment in me, so I believe I deserve a higher salary. What can you do to make this happen?”
After that, take a break. Now the other side must make a decision.
7. Prepare in advance
Preparation is the main rule of effective negotiations. Find out as much as possible about the participants in the negotiations, then you will be prepared for all unexpected turns of events.
Also, prepare a plan that will benefit both parties. It doesn’t hurt to have a plan B in advance in case the first one doesn’t work.
8. Don’t let yourself be intimidated
We often feel nervous around people with high status, forgetting that they have their own fears and problems.
It doesn’t matter who has the upper hand. Never let the other side bully you or force their terms on you, no matter how influential they think they are. If you are confident and can prove your worth, you can always walk away from a deal.
Conclusions
Learning how to negotiate effectively isn’t that hard. You need to understand people: their aspirations, fears, and motivations. When you understand the other side, you’re halfway to the deal of your dreams.
