A parent’s hugs and pats soothe a baby. An older brother leads a younger brother by the hand through an unsafe street. A pat on the shoulder means support. We have many different touches in our arsenal that we use to express our feelings. These nonverbal ways of expressing love can be the most powerful and honest of all the methods of communication.
This is why touch shows love.
- It is a means of communication with each other. In the womb, the child is surrounded by the mother, and the first thing a newborn baby is taken in hands, calming him down. Thus, from the first days we learn to connect with the world through touch.
- This is a universal way of managing distance. For people in close relationships, it is important to be able to keep their distance – to comfortably spend time together and apart. Nothing will tell you as honestly as the touch of a loved one whether they want to spend time with you now or not, what mood they are in, and so on. Therefore, the lack of touch in long-distance relationships is one of the main difficulties.
- Touch transmits information. Hand in hand is as important as words of support. Tactile contact can transmit information no worse than speech.
- Oxytocin is released. This is a hormone of the hypothalamus that makes people more friendly towards each other.
- Touching increases feelings of comfort and confidence. Touching loved ones reduces stress levels, and also makes you feel more secure, even fights infections and reduces pain.
Touches can be very different depending on what they express.
- Positive. They are understood correctly by everyone as an expression of affection: hugging, patting, kissing, stroking, massaging, and other caressing movements.
- Negative: Impulsive or deliberate, these touches usually communicate a desire to create distance at their most innocent, or to hurt at their most toxic. They include hitting, slapping, pushing, kicking, scratching, poking, biting.
- Ambiguous. These touches can be perceived in different ways. How they are perceived depends on the intention of the touch, how sensitive the person being touched is, and most importantly, on the ability of people to understand each other without words. For example, a salesperson who deliberately touches a customer’s hand may become a more pleasant person for some and encourage them to buy, but may scare others away forever. For one girl, pinching may be a sign of love for her, while for another it will be painful and offensive .
Things to Consider When Showing Love Through Touch
Recognize individual characteristics
We are born with different temperaments, the basis of which is the threshold of sensitivity. Different people have different perceptions of how strong and what kind of impact should be in order to cause a reaction, positive or negative. For example, for one person tickling is a game, and for another person it is perceived negatively and turns into torture. Understanding how your partner reacts to different types of touching shows your attention and respect, the desire to see him/her as an individual with his/her own unique needs.
Communication
Touch is communication between people. It demonstrates understanding of the other’s desires and needs, and allows people to develop their own personal language. A husband squeezing his wife’s hand helps her feel protected. Squeezing hands during a tense moment in a film allows for the sharing of emotions. A person worried about something will take their partner’s hand and, feeling the warmth coming from them, will calm down. We learn to understand many things without words.
Respect for culture
Culture not only defines the meaning of different types of touch , but also the rules for demonstrating them. These rules are the most critical of the ways in which feelings are expressed—often unspoken, they inform whether a given sign is acceptable in public or not, whether it expresses love or hostility.
