These tips will help you cope with stress and overcome fear for those who are thinking about parenthood or already know that they will soon become a father.
It’s normal to be afraid of becoming a father. You’ll never be ready for it until your spouse gives birth to their first child. It’s the unknown. It’s an immediate restructuring of your daily routine and occasional lack of sleep in the first six months. It’s a change in your work rhythm and arguments with childless colleagues and bosses about what comes first for a person – work or family. It’s pats on the shoulder and lamentations from parents: “You’ve become so grown up.” It’s family night vigils. But if you know about some things in advance, you can make life easier for yourself and your spouse.
1. Take care of your child’s mother
Your wife needs support before, during and after childbirth. Pregnancy means nausea in the first trimester, backache the rest of the time, periodic visits to the antenatal clinic for tests and psychological adjustments.
Your spouse may start to snap at you or say that you smell bad. If you are unlucky, you will “smell” for the entire nine months. Remember that this is temporary, be indulgent and patient. During pregnancy, turn into a little “parent” for the woman: fulfill her whims and bring home treats.
Be there during labor. It is not necessary to be present at the most crucial moment. But if the doctors did not prescribe a cesarean section, then the labor process will most likely be long and tiring. After them, the woman needs to rest, and with or without you – she will decide for herself.
After giving birth, some mothers write on social networks exclusively with lots of funny emoticons and exclamation marks. Know that they are probably lying.
Approximately 15% of young mothers suffer from postpartum depression, which needs to be treated with the help of a specialist.
BabyCenter baby blues as a separate category – a melancholic state of a woman, similar to postpartum depression , but less pronounced. Baby blues can last for two weeks after discharge from the maternity hospital, and during this time your care is especially important.
2. Don’t whine about trifles and don’t ask what’s for dinner
A condition similar to baby blues can also begin in the father. This is the time when you can’t just go to the bar and have a beer, because you have to bathe the baby, feed it if the family practices artificial feeding, clean more often and more thoroughly, and help more actively around the house.
At this time, it is better not to complain, because it is unfair to the child’s mother, who will certainly want to put you in your place.
The invisible home front is just as tiring as your job, so it’s best to forget the stock phrase “What’s for dinner?” Some women don’t like it at all.
3. Learn from your mother
The role of a responsible father will reveal in you a progressive element of human evolution. Mothers love their children because their bond is formed on an instinctive and hormonal level. You will probably truly love your child, but perhaps not right away.
And while you are trembling as you take an unfamiliar creature into your arms and don’t know what to do with it or how to put it down, learn from its mother quickly. She took this blow back in the maternity hospital and knows a thing or two. Empathy and affection will quickly do their job.
In addition to the ability to swaddle, change diapers, feed and lull, you will need the desire to do all this, or at least the awareness that your spouse will not cope without you. You will also have to get up at night.
4. Relax sometimes
Once the shock of realizing yourself in a new role has passed, there will be time to rest.
In the first three months, a child is more like a big zucchini, which for some reason needs to be fed, swaddled and moved to the other side. At this time, it is advisable to sing songs, play something simple and calm on the guitar or just stand next to and be touched, but sometimes you can allow yourself to rest.
Gradually, the child will demand more and more attention. At 7-8 months, children begin to crawl, and then you will remember the calm first months.
