Laughter, shared values, the ability to express love on a daily basis… Relationship experts have listed the things that distinguish long-term, healthy love relationships from fleeting, hopeless ones.Romances usually begin with falling in love, and partners imagine everything in an ideal light. But how can you tell if a couple can really live happily ever after? The Huffington Post asked experts in psychology and relationships to name the characteristics of long-term and strong unions. The list consisted of seven items.
1. You can laugh at yourself and each other
Of course, we are not talking about evil irony or disrespectful ridicule. On the contrary, they can ruin relationships . The point is not to be too serious and to good-naturedly tease your own quirks.
This is when people can joke about their favorite movies, smile about past bad decisions, and occasionally admit to their selfishness.
2. You find a way to express love every day
You can show tenderness and care in the simplest little things, like a cup of coffee in the morning or pleasant words . The main thing is that they happen regularly, because this is how the emotional background of the couple is formed.
When such gestures become a habit, it is a sign that the relationship can last for life.
3. You have common values
Of course, ideal partners do not exist. But in order to build a strong and long-lasting union , your positions on the main things should be as identical as possible.
Research shows that the more closely partners agree on the most important aspects of life, such as religion, money, and attitudes toward children, the more likely they are to live together their entire lives.
Therefore, it is worth discussing each other’s values at the beginning of the relationship. No matter how you look at it, they are unlikely to change over time.
4. You don’t tend to judge each other.
If your partner does something not very nice or tactful, you don’t think that he does it on purpose. That is, you continue to believe in his good intentions.
Instead of looking for someone to blame, you will share your feelings and try to find a solution so that the situation does not happen again in the future.
5. You don’t keep records
Ideally, each partner does something for the other without expecting anything in return. But that’s not always the case. And that leads to resentment and “I’m the only one putting in the work” type of accusations.
Ryan Howes advises to abandon such considerations, forget about expectations and just start telling your partner about your desires.
6. You solve problems, not avoid them.
Problems are a part of life, so there is no need to hide from them. As Kurt Smith notes, overcoming difficulties together helps strengthen the bond between partners.
It takes courage to solve problems. But the reward is stronger, more secure relationships.
Kurt Smith
7. Each of you takes responsibility for your mistakes.
If both partners are aware of their role in the relationship and are ready to admit their own mistakes, this is also a very good sign.
Imagine one person says, “I know that when I’m in a bad mood I can be pushy and unbearable.” And the other person says, “Yes, but I also know that I can be too secretive, and that scares you.” Such a relationship can really last a long time.
