If you are suffering from the fact that you can’t build a successful relationship, then perhaps it’s worth changing something in your views on the world.
1. You don’t respect yourself
The extent to which others respect and admire you is proportional to how much you respect yourself. If you take care of yourself mentally, emotionally, and physically, other people will also strive to take care of you.
It’s hard. But if you want to have a relationship with an emotionally mature person, you have to become one yourself first.
2. You have unrealistic expectations
Some people can’t build relationships because they expect something from their partner, but are not willing to offer anything in return. As an example, imagine an unemployed balding man who spends all day lying on the couch in front of the TV and complains that all the women he likes are unable to appreciate his spiritual qualities and therefore reject him.
Other people are ready to contribute to the relationship, but at the same time want their partner to fully meet their needs and justify absolutely all expectations. An example would be a young, well-groomed, educated woman who periodically starts relationships, but breaks up with all partners. With one – because they have different musical tastes, with another – because he defended a PhD in philology, and this is impractical. And so on.
Understand that we all have flaws. And so do those we date. That’s okay.
Don’t try to find a person without flaws. Look for someone whose flaws are comparable to your own.
Learn to accept the negative sides of others and fight your own imperfections.
3. You don’t know how to build close relationships
There are people who, at first glance, are good at everything – smart, interesting, educated, beautiful, talented, successful, active – but nevertheless lonely. They periodically go on dates and even meet with someone, but they fail to build a long-term relationship. In such cases, the answer most often lies in the fact that they do not understand what intimacy is.
A deep emotional connection between partners is essential for a happy relationship.
It’s not enough to just have fun together, you also need to be able to open up and empathize with the other person.
If this is your problem, try to reconsider your view of relationships. They are not another line on your to-do list or resume. Relationships cannot be measured objectively, for example, by the number of interesting conversations or time spent together.
Learn to accept and acknowledge your own deepest feelings, because without this you will never be able to achieve the level of emotional intimacy with your partner necessary for a successful relationship.
