At the very beginning oxytocin and dopamine are produced in the brain. When a partner is nearby and everything is good, the reward system is activated and a whole cocktail of hormones is released into the blood. And we think that we are happy.After a breakup, the reward system stops working and the body begins to . The stress hormones produced affect , digestive, and cardiovascular .
The systems responsible for pain perception are also activated. This is why the brain thinks that we are in physical , although in fact everything is fine with the body.
How to survive a breakup
Allow yourself to suffer
Yes, that’s right. No need to artificially cheer yourself up. If you want to cry, cry. If you want to scream, scream (just don’t forget about the neighbors who might hear you). Sing sad songs in the shower. Binge-watch TV series.
You will be told that everyone breaks up and there is no need to make a tragedy out of it. Don’t listen and don’t try to hide the pain. No one knows what’s on your mind except you. If it hurts, let it hurt. Cry until there are no more tears, until you feel better or at least until you feel empty.
Strength will return to you, but it will take time. Each person has their own time.
Don’t blame yourself
The decision to break up does not come in one day. Or even in a month. Most often, it is accompanied by a long process of reflection.
The reasons may be very different. But this does not mean that you have missed something somewhere. It means that you both have long since started to lose contact.
Responsibility always lies with both, even if not always equally. There is no point in calculating who is more to blame. Look to the future and do not repeat your mistakes.
Don’t blame only yourself. Yes, you could be less irritated or less demanding. But your partner could talk to you about it.
Don’t try to get your partner back
If you feel like there is nothing left in life and you need to get everything back, stop. That’s fear talking.
After a long relationship, it’s scary to be alone. And this is a completely normal reaction.
Don’t give in to fear. Don’t try to get your ex back with humiliating requests. Even if he comes back, nothing good will come out of such a relationship.
Get busy
When the first sharp pain passes, go to places where you couldn’t or didn’t have time to go together. Watch movies that you liked but your ex-partner didn’t. Remember the hobby that you abandoned during the relationship.
Do things you would never do together. This will give you a sense of freedom you never had before.
Many cities now have studios for dancing, painting, clay modeling, knitting, or metal burning. A trial lesson is often free. Why not give it a try? At worst, you’ll lose an hour. At best, you’ll find something you love with all your heart.
Move on
Immediately after a breakup, many lose weight because they can starve for days. But when the body’s resources are completely depleted, the appetite awakens and the weight begins to increase.
At the same time, you want not just to eat, but to overcome your bad mood with high-carbohydrate foods: pizza, ice cream, chocolate. If you move little, your weight will grow even faster.
