We live in dark times for traditional values. Man is moving away from the spiritual dimension to embrace an existence increasingly dedicated to consumption and frenetic and ostentatious hedonism, ignoring any moral warning about the meaning of humility. I myself struggle to write these words aboard my limousine, since my chauffeur Sebastian is hitting all the potholes. Not to mention the tray of coke that spilled on the last curve. But I am a mild and moderate person, so I do not get angry with Sebastian or with Priscilla, a nice girl I met on the ring road. You know, it is in moments like these, at the first light of morning, that looking out the window I am struck by the sublime majesty of creation. Even Priscilla is speechless, but perhaps it is because of the hundred from earlier. In any case, here are some of the profound questions that often haunt me:
#1. Is there life in the universe that doesn’t require a 15 euro pass including a watered down drink?
#2. Who is the intelligent architect behind all this and how many years has he been out of course?
#3. In an expanding cosmos, why can’t I ever find parking at the mall on Sundays?
#4. If in the beginning was the verb, at what point in history did the subjunctive begin to be persecuted?
#5. You get past the story of Adam and Eve, but where do the children of Cain and Abel come from?
#6. Why can’t I help but think of Schwarzenegger when I think of Judgment Day?
#7. Why, if God is the answer, did I always get a 2 on chemistry questions about oxidation-reduction?
#8. But do Jesus and the apostles all sit on the same side of the table at the restaurant?
#9. Did Giuseppe have a VAT number?
#10. Why did my catechist scold me so many years ago when she told me to say two words on the cross and I said Jesus Christ?
#11. God is only one, God is only three: heresies harshly condemned or misunderstandings without malice?
#12. Is it more difficult to be saved or to repeat transubstantiation in reverse?
#13. So the Afterlife is a kind of employment agency?
#14. If death is just the decomposition of organic matter, how is it different from riding the subway during rush hour?
#15. Will there be a circle in hell called “Buongiornisssimo! Coffee!”?
#16. If I had the choice between a night of wild sex with Beyoncé and Shakira and unraveling the ultimate mystery of life, which song would I put on in the background?
I don’t think we’ll ever have the answers. Lost in this shipwreck that is existence, we have no choice but to marvel at every encounter, every situation, with the utmost authenticity and honesty. As I always tell my wife before going to whores.
