There are a sea of situations, arguments and problems that I cannot conceive. Yes, conceive, because it is not the simple non-sharing of a concern or an idea. It is the very essence of denial. The inconceivable is made of the same material that nightmares are made of. A delirium of Shakespearean inspiration, which brings us directly to the fundamental point of your reading. The only reason why you are on this page and not watching some random porn on one of the thousand sites that your girlfriend must never ever discover.
# 1 Is Jovanotti forced to put “S” everywhere, or does he get paid a certain amount for every hiss he tries to sing?
#2 Baby pizza.
#3 The closer you get to the bathroom, the more the urge grows.
#4 Coca Cola Zero the morning after the disco, accompanied by five sandwiches and three kilos of chips, cooked in engine oil.
#5 The further you get from the bathroom, the more the diarrhea surprises you.
#6 The more you hurry, the more old men wearing hats you meet on the street
#7 The sanitary napkin commercials
But why at 1pm, while I’m eating, can I know if Lucrezia has pooped well, but not because she has a problem with the wheel???? Evolve, for God’s sake. Menstruation is a reality, accept it.
#8 Lessons on creationism and flat-eartherism
Lessons??? Well then let’s also teach that 2+2=5, Come on!
#9 All those great actors, past and present, who do commercials.
Banderas, get your act together!
#10 Luca Ward telling me Hugo Boss makes you cool.
You were Massimo Decimo Meridio, honor him!
#11 Commercial songs that become old after two months.
#12 “If you pack, I pack too”
So you’re an asshole.
#13 The traffic cops who create more traffic than they help.
#14 How come prostitutes always look you in the eye when you drive by? Even at 90 km/h… Witches, witches, witches!
#15 “It’s not you, it’s me”
Fuck you.
#16 Vasco is a singer-songwriter.
“Eeeeeeeeeeh”, now I’m a writer. Vasco WAS a singer-songwriter.
#17 Half portions.
Are you hungry or not…make up your mind.
#18 Who doesn’t have Telepass in 2018
#19 “I don’t use Facebook because it steals my data.”
Oh good, but please, tell me how you live without bank accounts, postal accounts, residence, documents in general and any online presence.
#20 Are Sky Sport Basket journalists forced to have a soft “R” or is it in the CV requirements?
#21 The arrow at the entrance to the roundabout.
What are you pointing at? I know you’re going in there. You have no other way, genius.
#22 The DJ from the provincial club who “plays”
#23 The Snobby TV VIPs.
You are VIPs because of all of us poor mortals. Respect us.
#24 “She doesn’t know who I am.”
Obviously not. If you have to say that, then I have bad news for you.
#25 The bells.
If we were in a truly secular country, they would disturb the public peace.
#26 People who don’t like dogs.
I have no words for you.
#27 Flat Earthers.
I’ve already talked about them, but I really don’t understand how they can exist.
#28 Nordic Walking through the city streets.
#29 Anti-abortion doctors.
But don’t worry…it’s just your job. Starting tomorrow I’ll be anti-Friday ! Let’s see how long my work contract lasts.
#30 Practicing Catholic women.
It’s nice to respect the dictates of a religion that values you less than a two of cups with clubs as trumps.
#31 “The book was better”
Come on? You surprise me more and more every time.
#32 Who cares about “contact cleaning” .
#33 Jehovah’s Witnesses on Sunday morning.
I’ll do the apocalypse for you, damn you!
Maybe I’m the only one who thinks so, but I finished this writing in a fit of rage and despair.
I hate everything! I hate you all!
I love everything! I love you all!
The Brain is dead! Long live the Brain!
