This post was supposed to go out today at 5pm, but since I’m an idiot it’s coming out a couple hours later.This post should have a relevant cover image, but since I’m an asshole I’ll put one of Jesse Pinkman .This post should also have an introduction, but since I’m a dickhead I don’t give a damn.This very short, point-based introduction could actually have become almost funny, if I weren’t such an idiot as to end it here.
Here’s a list of things only a jerk can understand
#1. You don’t get out of bed unless there’s a good reason to do so. And a good reason is usually that you’re getting bedsores.
#2. You’re not hyperactive even after taking a bath in a tub full of coke
#3. After half an hour on Facebook you need to relax a bit
#4. Reading, listening to music, taking drugs are not pastimes, but exhausting jobs
#5. You don’t argue with your girlfriend because rather than arguing for hours you give her reason beforehand
#6. You have an open relationship with: frozen food aisle
#7. What others call “not wanting to wash dishes” is a punk lifestyle choice for a dickhead
#8. You have more TV series on your PC than all of Torrent
#9. Religion practiced: fuck it
#10. The most artistic thing you’ve ever done is modeling the sofa in the shape of your ass.
#11. They say you waste your life, but you don’t understand why spending it doing what you love should be considered a waste.
#12. Start studying two days before the exam. If you remember what date it was set for
#13. Without Facebook, you wouldn’t have met a new person since your high school field trip.
#14. You’re the only one who’s happy to be in goal in soccer
#15. In high school you would have eaten Nikes just to have a good reason to skip PE.
#16. You don’t hurt women, you exasperate them
#17. Your motto is: “The time you enjoy wasting is not wasted time”
#18. The pizza guy knows your address by heart
#19. The last time you cleaned Enrico Papi’s room he had a job
#20. Fight the pains of life by trying to live as little as possible
