An arrogant snob evokes negative emotions. You don’t want to communicate with him. we studied the opinions of psychologists about the nature of arrogance and how to deal with it.
- Arrogance is an inflated sense of self-worth that manifests itself in bragging, putting others down, and a need for admiration, explains communications expert Brendan Brown.
- Arrogance is often caused by insecurity, fear of failure or condemnation, which a person tries to hide behind a mask of superiority.
- Arrogance negatively impacts relationships by creating barriers between people, but it can be overcome through developing self-awareness, practicing humility and empathy, as Brendan Brown advises.
What is arrogance and how does it manifest itself?
When a person is looked down upon, he gets an unpleasant feeling that he is being humiliated. This happens when meeting arrogant people.
What is arrogance? It is an inflated sense of self-worth, communication expert and founder of Global English Editing Brendan Brown explains in an exclusive commentary for NUR.KZ. It is an attitude in which a person considers himself superior to others, treats others as inferior, writes the online mental health journal Psychologs . The publication identifies the following common traits of arrogant people:
- Boasting and exaggeration. A person speaks only about his achievements in an exaggerated form, keeping silent about his shortcomings.
- Humiliation of others. This is especially abused by those arrogant people who have a higher status and power. They may do this to maintain control over the situation and people.
- The need for admiration and respect. They feel that this is how they prove their worth.
Those who do not believe his words, do not admire them and do not treat them with respect, cause irritation and even aggression in snobs
How does arrogance manifest itself? Brendan Brown identifies the following signs of arrogance:
- Disdainful attitude towards others.
- Belittling the opinions of others, dominating conversations, and acting as if someone’s views or actions are superior to others.
- Refusal to listen to another person.
- Lack of empathy for others.
An arrogant person does not accept criticism. He is convinced that he has the right to special treatment.
Where does arrogance come from?
Children are not born arrogant, although many of them defend their ego without regard for others, and this is normal for childhood. But arrogance can manifest itself in the process of growing up. For example, two schoolgirls are friends. One goes to study in the capital, and the other stays in a provincial town. When they meet after some time, the capital student boasts of her achievements, ignoring the feelings of her friend. In this way, she shows arrogance.
More often than not, arrogance is rooted in insecurity, explains Brendan Brown:
When people feel vulnerable, they may project an inflated sense of confidence to protect themselves.
It can also arise from past successes or an environment where people are rewarded for their achievements and overly praised. This leads to a distorted perception of oneself.
That is, arrogance in many cases is a defense mechanism behind which a person hides, oddly enough, his insecurity, although many people think that snobs are self-confident. They also cover up the fear of failure, condemnation, non-compliance with social standards, which is typical for people with low self-esteem.
Also, people who feel they lack something or are not very aware of their abilities may create a sense of superiority to compensate for their perceived shortcomings, explain experts in the journal Psychologs . When they are emotionally depressed, they hide their vulnerability behind arrogance. Because of this, they criticize others and do not take responsibility for themselves, but shift the blame to others.
How Arrogance Affects Relationships Between People
Thinking that arrogance is identical to confidence, some people, including those who unconsciously possess this trait, consider it a positive trait.
Arrogance is usually negative, Brendan Brown explains to NUR.KZ readers:
While it may give a temporary sense of superiority, arrogance is generally detrimental to relationships. Arrogant people tend to isolate themselves because their dismissive nature pushes others away and, in the long run, creates barriers and hinders meaningful connections.
Humiliation, disdain, criticism, indifference, bragging – this is what defines the attitude of an arrogant person towards others. This creates a gap between people, causes misunderstanding and destroys relationships. An arrogant person makes it clear that the other person’s point of view does not matter to him, he is never wrong, does not compromise, and the interlocutor feels deprived and humiliated. This causes mistrust, without which full-fledged relationships are impossible.
The worst part is that the arrogant side often denies their arrogance, warns mental health website Psych Central . Such a person is unaware of their own fear and believes that everything they try to be right about is the truth, not their point of view. Attempts to think, to pay attention to logic, to provide the necessary information for this, will most likely be unsuccessful.
More often than not, those in a partnership with an arrogant person experience intense frustration and even anger because they are rarely heard, understood, or accepted. Over time, frustration can turn into resignation or, worse, despair. In such cases, it is almost impossible to restore well-being to the relationship.
How to get rid of arrogance
Aggressive strategies born from a desire to defeat another person and strategies that are designed to accommodate and tolerate arrogance or disrespect are doomed to failure, warn experts at Psych Central.
If the arrogant interlocutor is a colleague, acquaintance, or even a boss, resist the urge to argue, acknowledge their point of view, even if it is stated as a fact and not a personal opinion. A good starting point is a statement like, “I understand that this is your point of view, and I appreciate you sharing it with me.” And you can ask, “Are you interested in hearing my perspective?” This will show that you are willing to hear “no,” and this will reduce tension.
In such a situation, the answer will most often be “yes” because you have defined your positions. You will be able to express your point of view without judging or devaluing the position of the interlocutor. This will reduce the feeling of fear and threat in the arrogant person, and he will be able to allow himself to disagree with your opinion in a more civilized manner. This will already be a significant step in the fight against arrogance.
In close partnerships, when he or she is not interested in hearing the other’s point of view, ask to be told under what conditions this is possible. It is not a question of figuring out who is right, but of being heard, respected, and understood. Under these conditions, mutual understanding can be achieved.
If you start fighting arrogance yourself, the most important thing is self-awareness, Brendan Brown is sure:
Reflecting on your behavior and understanding the insecurities that drive it are key steps. I would also recommend practicing humility—recognizing that everyone has value.
Listening to others with empathy can go a long way in reducing arrogant tendencies. Developing empathy is an important part of positive relationships.
It is not difficult for others to recognize arrogance. It is more difficult for the person himself to realize that he is like this and why he behaves this way. Competent tactics of others will help with this.
