We face various kinds of unexpected events in our lives. We feel stress. When this stress is intense, a kind of over-excitement works in us, making it difficult to concentrate on daily tasks. During this time, the logical part of the brain is usually inactive. We make decisions (or behave) driven by the emotional part of the brain, which can further increase our level of danger and suffering. Some people become unconscious at such times. They lose their ability to function. It is very important to return to normal levels of excitement from over-excitement or unconsciousness. Because if we are in this over-excitement or unconsciousness for a long time, it can take the form of mental illness.
One of the ways to calm the restless mind in unexpected situations and return to the normal pace of life and work is to practice self-compassion. That is, to be by your side as a friend in difficult times, to fill yourself with compassion. This practice can be done very easily in three steps.
1. Pause: As soon as something happens, I will temporarily stop doing something out of excitement. I will notice the feeling. I will notice how my body feels. For example, is my chest pounding or not; are my hands and feet shaking or not; I will pay close attention to whether I feel any discomfort in my head, neck, or anywhere else in my body. The main purpose of this temporary pause is to give the logical and problem-solving part of the brain time to become active.
2. Oxygen and Water: When we feel restless or lethargic after something happens, our body experiences a lack of oxygen and water. At these moments, many people experience dry lips and throats, and feel suffocated. At this time, the lack of oxygen and water in the body can be filled by drinking water and taking at least three to five deep breaths. Inhale slowly through the nose and exhale slowly through the mouth. If you have difficulty breathing deeply, you can focus only on breathing. This is called mindful breathing. That is, paying attention to how the tip of the nose feels when breathing normally. You should only pay attention to breathing for three to five breaths or more if necessary. By supplying water and oxygen to the body in this way, both the body and mind will calm down in a short time.
3. Some compassionate words: How we feel in any situation depends largely on what we say to ourselves and how we say it. To prepare ourselves to handle difficult situations and solve problems, we need to be kind to ourselves. We need to say some compassionate words to ourselves. Christine Neff, a professor and psychologist at the University of Texas in the United States, has seen in her multiple studies that taking care of yourself, being kind to yourself, and saying compassionate words to yourself in difficult situations can easily create a connection with yourself. And at the same time, it is easier to prepare yourself to solve problems.
That is, in any difficult situation, drink some water, take in oxygen through deep breathing, and then say to yourself:
This moment is painful and stressful.
The compassion I need to keep myself calm
I can give it to myself.
I can be with myself in difficult times.
Suffering is part of our life,
I am not alone, we all fight in life.
I can be patient,
I can be calm,
I can be strong.
The difficult times and feelings I am going through.
I’m going to overcome it,
I am with myself!
Apart from this, we can engage in our favorite activities to calm ourselves down during difficult times. Some people may love listening to music, some may love gardening, so do that during this time. Doing things like going for a walk or going for a walk, eating your favorite food, talking openly with your loved ones, and hugging them can also help you find peace of mind.
