How to learn to accept yourself and improve your self-esteem. The psychologist’s advice to start to stop comparing yourself with others.
LEARNING TO ACCEPT YOURSELF
How many times have you started to think about something that you just can’t do and started comparing yourself to others ? Surely, in that case, you felt like a failure: others are always better and better prepared than you.
But have you ever thought about doing the opposite? It could be a small thing, like the fact that he/she is a chain smoker and you don’t smoke. What is the purpose of this exercise? To make you notice that every person is a mix of strengths and weaknesses, that no one is perfect but also that no one is a complete disaster.
You see yourself as full of flaws and you are afraid that if other people really knew you they would reject you. To compensate for this fear you try to give a “revised” and “corrected” image of yourself, that is, you try to appear “better” than you are. You try to make a good impression on others by putting on a mask. In certain situations this may be necessary, for example at work or with people you don’t know well, but with friends and your partner you can let yourself go!
If you show yourself for who you really are , you will give your loved ones the chance to love and accept you. And if you feel that others appreciate you despite your weaknesses, you will begin to appreciate yourself too.
INCREASE SELF-ESTEEM
Stop fighting against yourself to become a person completely different from what you are. You will never succeed: if your nature is that of a rabbit, no matter how hard you try and how much effort you put into it, you will not be able to become a tiger. However, you can be a happy rabbit. On the other hand, a rabbit that tries hard to hunt like a tiger (because tigers are more appreciated in our society) will suffer from anxiety, insomnia, psychosomatic disorders and so on. Just to give a trivial example: if you hate studying (and mathematics in particular) there is no point in enrolling in engineering just because it is a faculty that allows you to find a lucrative job: it is what your parents expect of you, and a degree gives social prestige. But where do you fit into all this?
Stop criticizing yourself for what you are not and for what you have not yet managed to do in life. Maybe not all your choices have turned out to be “right”, but you have certainly done some good things . Try to think about it!
